really_frustrated Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 Ladies, I need your help. I never know what to say to a girl in a bar. I have no problems walking up to a girl and introducing myself at a house party, for instance, and keeping the conversation going. My standard opener at house parties is "So how do you know XXXX" (the organizer of the party). At a bar, however, it is a whole other story. There is no common link like that at a bar (like the host of the house party), and it drives me nuts as to what I could say. Girls typically come to bars in groups of 3-5, and for some reason always stick together -- at the bar, at the dance floor, everywhere! I have tried walking up to girls in the past, but they always seem to shoot me these looks that say "go away". I'm a good looking guy (been told I'm very handsome), I work out, I take care of myself .. and don't look like some random dooshbag trying to hit on girls. Some girls have enough laughed at me when I try talking to them -- I just don't get how someone can be that mean -- I mean, girls aren't having to do anything after all; they just put on make up and show up at the club. Guys have to DO EVERYTHING from initiating the conversation to asking them to dance to asking them out ... jeez everything!! Can't girls give us a break once in awhile? Yet, I see guys who walk up to girls all the time, say something, and have the girl laughing immediately -- and she is dancing with them soon after. WHAT ARE THEY SAYING TO HER??? Girls, I'm sure you've had a hundred guys coming up to you all the time -- what are they saying to you at bars? Please let me know as it will help me out very much!!
Lovegod Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 First of all, I'm not a girl. I'm that guy you hate who takes the girls you want, f***s them, and then laughs at you. There is no common link like that at a bar (like the host of the house party), and it drives me nuts as to what I could say. It doesn't matter what you say for an opener. Anything that will spark conversation will get the ball rolling. Comment (note: not compliment) on her attire, jewelry, or on your surroundings, and continue conversation from there. If you're still too much of a wuss to approach women with fresh conversation, try doing it on strangers in line at the grocery store. Girls typically come to bars in groups of 3-5, and for some reason always stick together So what? Approach the ugly one first, make conversation with her, and move your way up to the one you're targeting. That way, you get all of them on your side, and they won't cockblock you. Again, work on your conversation with strangers first. I'm a good looking guy (been told I'm very handsome), I work out, I take care of myself This isn't the primary focus of women, so get that out of your head right now. It's only men who focus primarily on looks. If you're good looking but your personality sucks, you're going to spend another night spanking the monkey like most men out there. Guys have to DO EVERYTHING from initiating the conversation to asking them to dance to asking them out ... jeez everything!! Can't girls give us a break once in awhile? Boo f***ing hoo. It's part of life. Adapt, or continue to let people like me continue to steal the women away from you. Yet, I see guys who walk up to girls all the time, say something, and have the girl laughing immediately -- and she is dancing with them soon after. WHAT ARE THEY SAYING TO HER??? It's not what they're saying, but it's how they're saying it. They're confident, and have nothing to lose. That's the difference between them and you. You have EVERYTHING to lose, because you're worried about how these women are going to judge you. If you truly didn't give a s*** about how you appear to them, you wouldn't have any fear. It's just a goddam woman. She's only a human being. Now, get your ass out there and approach!
933KJL Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 Lovegod---very harsh! But very true! Confidence will win all the time. Openers? Walk up and just say "hello, I am really_frustrated, I love this song....I have never been here, this is a nice club...almost anything innocuous to get a conversation rolling.
Guest001 Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 All good points. I like to use... "My friend and I are having a discussion and I would like to get a womans point of view". Come up with anything you want after that. Remember your inviting her into YOUR world. Dont be the guy who runs himself ragged for her attention. If she not interested move on down the line.
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