Super89Rex Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 Hey guys, I sort of have a dilemma; Im not quite sure if you can call it that but something has been bothering me quite a bit.. To start off, I started talking to this woman from an online dating site for a few weeks; a little over a week ago we finally met up for coffee. We hit it off immediately, everything was going great... at the end, she had told me she had nothing to do that day so I asked her out the same night; we went out that night, everything went so great.. She held my hand first, as I was very nervous.. After that I went to drive her home, she told me she didnt want to go home yet, I went in and kissed her.. Needless to say we ended up going somewhere to park for the rest of the night and pretty much just made out, talking etc... A few days later went over to her house, watched a movie; and needless to say things went a lot further but not quite all the way if you catch my drift...We cuddled that night, before I went home... A few days after that we had another date which I think went pretty well, took her out went for a walk by the river, holding hands, kissing feeling very intimate.. At the end of the night we rented a movie and went back to her place, needless to say we didnt' necesarrily watch the movie.. We ended up having sex, and to me it was absolutely incredible; since its been almost a year since the last time I have felt so intimate with a woman... we cuddled afterwards.. She invited me out the next day with her friends to the bar, I went and brought a friend.. We were pretty close then as well, kissed a few times, hugged, held hands, etc.. At the end I asked her when I was going to see her again, she had told me she is going to be busy inthe next few days and will call me.. But, I am worried I am setting myself up to get hurt. Im starting to fall for this girl WAY to early.. Even when im talking to her on MSN, I feel a sense of distance; or is it I am expecting WAY too much.. my last relationship was long term and maybe I have become accustomed to that.. I mean im not sure what our relationship is, I really want it to become something great.. I mean theres all these little signs here and there, Ive told her on a few occasions how beautiful she is, etc and she always looks at me and smiles and kiss sometimes.. the other day on MSN after we were together she had told me that my scent was on her pillow and she smelt it in the morning and she had smiled.. All these signs sound great, but deep down I feel as if something is wrong.. Almost as if I dont want to get hurt.. My question is, should I put up a barrier; because Im starting to feel that sense of neediness.. Its just odd because sometimes it seems she doesnt put much effort into talking to me on MSN, like 2 word responses sometimesand sometimes she wont even say anything to me when I come online.. we havent talked THAT much on the phone either, does that come as odd to you? Its wierd, almost as if shes a completely different person when we are together in person as per the phone,MSN.. Anyway, I think I should just wait for her to calll me and see what happens.. I know she has a busy schedule and works in the medical profession so her shifts sometimes don't coencide with mine; but if she really was into my she would make time right? Does it sound like shes into me? How has things changed if any after sex? Thanks for any input on this matter..
westernxer Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 She thinks you're a booty call, that's all. Just roll with it, and don't tell you her like her either.
gfto Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 stop all the MSNing and excessive compliments. The only time you should be communicating with her when you two are not in each other's physical presence is to arrange the next date. Only one compliment per date.
twist Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 YOu sound like a really nice guy---so please dont be offended by what im about to say. Back Off... Women --no matter who they are-- dont want someone to be TOO eager. You need to play a little hard to reach. once you back off a bit she will wonder what's going on with you, and then contact you. This may seem a bit game playish--but its just the same rule thats been in place in regards to dating forever. I know it's hard to fight the urge to want to be with them or talk to to them ALL the time, but you just cant. IT's overkill, and no one finds that attractive. Also, work your nervous thing. If you go into something nervous-- she will initially think that's cute, but it becomes BORING after awhile. Men dont think women want a nice guy for some reason--so they play victim and whine--nice guys finish last. But in reality, women DO want a nice guy, they just dont want a clingy doormat. There is a difference.
Author Super89Rex Posted May 28, 2006 Author Posted May 28, 2006 So, what do you suggest? Blocking her on MSN or just not responding to her?
twist Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 Also Rex, you are still carrying baggage from your past relationship. (read the threads) Dont put your insecurities on this girl. I can guarantee you that she senses it--and that is a MAJOR turn off. YOu have to find some closure from your past relationship. YOu seem like like a man who has very romanticized ideals of the world. THis isnt a bad thing, but you arent falling for this girl so fast. you are still in love with your ex and trying to extend the emotions from that to this.
gfto Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 Not at all. No need to block her from MSN or not respond. Just don't initiate the MSNing. If you're on MSN and she sends you an IM, ask her out right then and there. Make a date, then tell her you're busy, can't chat, and that you'll see her on the date!
Author Super89Rex Posted May 29, 2006 Author Posted May 29, 2006 Alright, Im just going to play it cool from now on and just relax; not talk to her everyday, etc.. I guess its always a game to be played, my question is how long must this game go on of showing dis-interest? I can easilly not call or talk to her as often or play hard to get if I have to if thats whats best... Any other input?
Stunner Posted June 10, 2006 Posted June 10, 2006 I know how you feel...kind of going through the same thing right now myself. He and I hit it off wonderfully and have been having a nice time. I have known him for about a month and a half but we've only been 'dating' for about three weeks. We had sex...fabulous three hour long tender, eyes meeting sex. I saw him briefly the next day and everything was fine....warm kiss, sincere eye contact, I met his daughter that day and he left saying, "I'll talk to you soon." We didn't make plans this past week and he hasn't returned my phone messages...it has been almost three days since my last message (non-comittal, not needy messages BTW). I'm just backing off. My guess is he's afraid I'll get needy now that we've done the deed. I'm putting the ball in his court. It sucks doesn't it???? I think you are doing the right thing, though.
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