sophie68 Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 I am so beside myself I had to post and glad I found this forum. In a nutshell...went on 2 wonderful dates with a 40 yr old man who seemd like the first "normal guy" I've been with. Well respected by everyone. It was a blind date set up by by a mutual friend. Synopsis: First date...Instant attraction...he was "smitten". Had a great night and he called and/or text me daily afterwords trying to set up another date. Second date (week later)...came to my house, watched a movie. A little taken back by my lifestyle (I live in a big house, he lives in a small apt) but we got over that. He called me when he got home to say he had a wonderful time tonight. He left for AZ 2 days later for buiness...I did not hear form him all week (went from every day talking down to zero). He called me when he got back (Last Tuesday)...great conversation, asking me what my plans are for the week and he would like to take me out again. "Since you are a busy girl you tell me when you are free...my schedule is wide open" We agreed on Saturday (last night) Never heard from him. He never called. I texted him at 5:30 yeaterday "When and where do you want to meet?" Nada...nothing. He is really into Text Messaging (I'm not) so if he was going to blow me off why wouldnt he just text the cowardly way and say "can't make it tonight" I heard NOTHING from him. What do I do now? Let him explain when/if he calls? Then what? Do I totally blow him off and move on? My friends who know him say thisis not his nature. I'm blown away by what happened, I could have made other plans and he knows it.
Solachica Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 Am sure he wud have a reason as to why no reply to your message. Don't look for more into things without first knowing his side of it. "Since you are a busy girl you tell me when you are free...my schedule is wide open" He's assuming you are busy or he know's this for a fact?
jerbear Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 text messaging is slow and unreliable. Honestly the message does get lost and eventually shows up sometimes. I think he lost interests in you and did blow you off. He wants you to chase him a little as in put him on a ego boost, younger woman and him being 40? Just let him be and move on. Don't dwell or over analyze the situation.
Author sophie68 Posted May 28, 2006 Author Posted May 28, 2006 Hi Sola, He's not assuming I'm busy, When he has called for a last minute date before (which he has done 2x) I had already had plans. I always plan ahead and go out with my GF's to shows, art gallery opening, etc. I don't sit at home very much because I work from home and need to get out. He knows that. When he called Wednesday ...he said "I know you like to plan ahead so I am calling to plan a date with you this week when you are free" I told him I had plans on Thurs and Fri (which I made these plans last week) so Saturday night would work. I really like him and I never thought he would be this type of person to do this. After the second date (which was great...no sex or anything...just kissing, etc and he mentioned "You are driving me CRAZY!" in a good way)...his phone calls dwindled and less TM's. I don;t know if it was the intimidation factor or what. What the hell happened here? I am a 37 yr old woman and he is a 40 yr old man...not teenagers...ugh
Author sophie68 Posted May 28, 2006 Author Posted May 28, 2006 Hi Jer, No ...not younger woman...I'm 37...he actually is 39 and will be 40 next month. Lost interest? He called me on Wed drilling me about what I've been doing, so on and so forth..."What has the beautiful Sophie been up to?" "When can I see you?" he kept asking.
Solachica Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 Well continue going along with your life... Maybe he's unsure abt wht he wants? You think abt wht you want and don't give him to much time to have you hanging there until he makes up his mind.
jerbear Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 Hi Jer, No ...not younger woman...I'm 37...he actually is 39 and will be 40 next month. Lost interest? He called me on Wed drilling me about what I've been doing, so on and so forth..."What has the beautiful Sophie been up to?" "When can I see you?" he kept asking. 37 is a great age for women. It is possible he is intimidated what is his background compared to yours? Text messaging does not show emotion. I've done a 360 before and dropped off the face of the planet. Now I'm in my 30's, I always break up in person. I have seen friends who have bf, gf's & whatever relationship types have others lined up and kept stringing others along by keeping them 2nd after their first choice cancels. Since he called wednesday and this being sunday, wait till tuesday for him to call. To me being almost 40, not do any planning, plus having a small apt gives me a red flag. Now if he calls, he will have to explain yourself. Put him on notice and tell him that behavior is unacceptable. Why deal with a man who can't plan ahead? Spontanous activites are great but you two only known each other for a short period of time. DO YOUR PLANING without him in the picture.
Author sophie68 Posted May 28, 2006 Author Posted May 28, 2006 Hi Jer, So do I give him a second chance, not answer his phone calls, let him explain? Should I play cool or show that I am angry? He is sucessful (hockey coach and scout) just does not flaunt it by having lavish things. He lives "in town" which is more ecpensive so small apartments can cost the same as my mortgage! I have never been through his before... a guy would give me a phone phone or something if plans changed....especially with a guy who has been chasing me and I never call him...geesh.
jerbear Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 Hi Jer, So do I give him a second chance, not answer his phone calls, let him explain? Should I play cool or show that I am angry? He is sucessful (hockey coach and scout) just does not flaunt it by having lavish things. He lives "in town" which is more ecpensive so small apartments can cost the same as my mortgage! I have never been through his before... a guy would give me a phone phone or something if plans changed....especially with a guy who has been chasing me and I never call him...geesh. I've given numbers out and even chased an older woman for 5 years. I see, well you should still voice your opinion and tell him that his actions of not calling are unacceptable; depending on what his excuse(s) are; then you tell him how you feel. Does he have children or other commitments that can arise to cause him to not call or even plan ahead 1 week. I'm pretty busy, even have an electronic leash, and I am still able to plan ahead 1 week, 2 week, etc.. and still be spontanous.
Lishy Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 I think he has taken liberties by making plans and not even having the decency to let you know he had to cancel! Dont call him - You need a flaky man like you need a hole in the head!
Author sophie68 Posted May 28, 2006 Author Posted May 28, 2006 No he has no kids and has never been married. I guess I have to wait and see what happens. I will let him explain and I will go from there.
Author sophie68 Posted May 28, 2006 Author Posted May 28, 2006 Lishy... VERY good point! But I would assume at some point he will call...who knows...maybe not.
Lishy Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 I didnt mean that to sound nasty sweetie! Men make me sick - Hot one minute and cold the next - No wonder so many people who have been in the dating game a while play games, self preservation! Even the ones who seem so into you end up fking you around!
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