lovelorcet Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 She cheated and shot at your house and is going to jail... Maybe this really isn't the type of chick you want to spend the rest of your life with. I think the "you could better" advice would seem to fit here...
justagirliegirl Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 And why did she shoot your windows out Woggle? You do something to her? Yeah break up with the gf and get some pro help before getting involved with someone else. Does your current gf have any idea of the type of views you share on here?
Touche Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 You're not mentally as healthy as you should be. Marriages where one person has mental problems don't usually work out. You NEED to get help. I mean the very first woman in your life, the one who you should have been able to trust to love you unconditionally, didn't. It's not your fault. I guess I don't blame you in a way BUT if you don't get help (and your friends are NO help) then you have only yourself to blame. I'm close to your fiancee's age and I wouldn't last TWO MINUTES with you and your crappy attitude. As some have pointed out, there are NEVER any guarantees. I had one failed marriage like you and took a leap of faith and married again. Thank god I did because so far the last 11 years have been the best of my life. Don't be self-destructive. I've always thought you might blow this. What could the woman possibly want from you? She sounds like a very independent person from what you've said. What could she want other than love and companionship? I sure hope you don't whine to her like you do on here. You're going to make her WANT to leave you if you don't stop. It's a turnoff. All of us are NOT your mother or your ex you know. I've never used a man in my life! I can think of a couple who used ME though. But I know they were scum and not all men are scum. Just as not all women are either.
alphamale Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 I don't want to spend my life wondering when she is going to finally walk out on me and if we have kids she will probably push me out of their lives. It just seems like to big a risk to me. Since she's 15 years older than you its more likely that you will walk out on her....to be with someone younger than yourself. This is an extremely risky match....you should end it.
whichwayisup Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 As good as it is right now she is still a woman and a man never knows when a woman will up and leave. I believe that women don't truly love men but just love what they can get out of us. Women view men as toys to be used and discarded. I know she has an ulterior motive but I just can't figure it out yet and it is bugging the crap out of me. I don't want to spend my life wondering when she is going to finally walk out on me and if we have kids she will probably push me out of their lives. It just seems like to big a risk to me. Woggle, it's time for you to seek therapy. And I mean this in the nicest way. You're letting past hurts which makes you feel insecure and worry about the future ruin a good thing in your life now. The woman you're with right now LOVES you and all you can think about is 'what will go wrong...' Talking to a therapist will help you see reality better and you'll learn how not to let fears and worries take over your life.
whichwayisup Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 Since she's 15 years older than you its more likely that you will walk out on her....to be with someone younger than yourself. This is an extremely risky match....you should end it. My husband is older than me, abit more than 15 years age difference and honestly I don't want to ever be with anybody else. I love him. Alpha, everything in life is a risk! Telling him to end it - That's just plain stupid! He might as well never drive a car, cross the road, go for a walk, fly in an airplane...s***, why not just stay in bed 24/7.
whichwayisup Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 My ex cheated on me and now she is going to prison for shooting out the windows to my house. I am actually all smiles around her. She has no clue that I am trying to find a way out. She has not done anything yet so I am trying to decide if I really want to end this and if so how to go about it. Your future bride has done nothing wrong to make you feel this way. She wants to marry you. Again, you're letting past situations interfer with your relationship. That's not a good thing! I think if you end it, you'll be making a really big mistake. It's your life, you are going to do what you're going to do - Just remember though, you could be throwing away the love of your life because of your fears. Don't you want to be happy Wog?
whichwayisup Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 She is away for the weekend and I was hanging out with a friend of mine who had his wife cheat on him and man did he talk some sense into me. That was the wrong person for you to talk to. Just because it happened to your friend, doesn't mean it's going to happen to you. Therapy is your friend. Trust me on that one, k!
westernxer Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 It's possible that Woggle isn't quite ready to embark on a new relationship/adventure, given his recent history.
Outcast Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 It's possible that Woggle isn't quite ready to embark on a new relationship/adventure, given his recent history. Then he should have stayed far away from women.
Tim'sAngel Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 I feel really sorry for the fiancee. Here she is thinking that everything is fine (im guessing from what wog says) and she is out of town while her fiance is sitting with his friend being fed all this crap about how he was cheated on and wog is getting too soft and all this horses***. Now she will come home all happy to see wog and hes gonna be sitting there looking at her wondering how he is going to break it off w/her, for no aparent reason... sad. Wog, the least you can do is be up front with her. Tell her you are insecure about relationships in general and you arn't ready for marriage until you can decide whether or not you will let these insecurities ruin your life. You know it's one thing to accept your not a whole person, that you have issues with your security or even with women in general. It would be one thing to post something like "I really love my fiancee but my insecurities are about to ruin my relationship, how do I gain security so I can go on with my life" or something positive like that, but instead you write a post saying "Yea, i think ima break up w/my fiancee even tho she has done nothing I just think all women are users so I and my buddy got cheated on..." WTF?? You attitude stinks. You will never be happy. Here I am a 22 yr female that has gotten used by men on numerous accounts, my dad left my mom when I was 18 so he wouldn't have to pay child support, took off to cali and refuses to move here to be near his only grandson but would rather stay in Cali because he will miss his friends, was left by the man that got me pregnant, left to raise my son alone... if someone shouldn't trust men it shoudl be me. But look what I did, i got off my sad little ass and kept telling myself i couldn't just sit around and not be happy because I let some stupid men in my past ruin my future. If I can do that then I'm sure a grown ass man could. Its all up to you though baby, we can't convince you to get on with your life. If you want to sit in your little rut and rot then by all means, that is completely your decision. At least come clean w/your fiancee so she doesn't have to suffer in the end. And for the love of pete, stop blaming all women in the world for something ONE women did to you. That is rather childish
luvtoto Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 I find this thread highly offensive. This is sexism at it's best.
luvtoto Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 So, the term I think you are looking for here is "Ditch-the-bitch". By the way, have you ever heard the saying "All men are bastards"? I mean if we are being general here.....
radiation7740 Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 If I were in woggle's shoes I would break it off. I didn't take my ex on my offer to try again because I learned that the odds of 2nd chances working out were slim even though there was no cheating or lying on either one of our behalfs. My ex wanted to even marry me. I've had 2 offers from women since the break up for dating but I turned them down. I don't think woggle is less of a man just because he's afraid. Let me tell you something. Fear can be your best friend in life. A good motivator. It's rare in my opinion that fear can be your enemy. So if he & I are afraid of getting hurt it must be for a damn good reason. He need not worry about making a big mistake if he breaks up with her. He's more likely to be making a mistake and regretting it 10 years from now if he marries this girl. The likelihood that he will get divorced is very high. She will look for a reason to divorce. It happens 80% of the time. I guess some of you don't believe that it's better to error on the side of caution than error on the side of potential danger.
radiation7740 Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 My husband is older than me, abit more than 15 years age difference and honestly I don't want to ever be with anybody else. I love him. Alpha, everything in life is a risk! Telling him to end it - That's just plain stupid! He might as well never drive a car, cross the road, go for a walk, fly in an airplane...s***, why not just stay in bed 24/7. Yes everything in life is a risk but some things are more risky than others. Death is inevitable for all of us. We're all going to die eventually so it doesn't matter whether I drive a car or not. It doesn't matter if I walk outside my house or not. Getting burned by a woman is not inevitable if one avoids them. So I think you are mixing apples and oranges here. Things that are a matter of life & death are worth risking since nobody is going to live forever anyway. Women are not worth the risk.
Tim'sAngel Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 Yea I guess your right rad. We shoudl all just dig an underground cave in our back yards and hide from all of the world. Besides, it's better to be scared then to be happy right?? Step up men, I am more of a man than you guys!! And yes luvtoto, this thread is becoming very sexist.
whichwayisup Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 Yes, fear can be a good thing in life, but not when you HAVE a good thing infront of you, and that good thing has given NO indication or reason for him to be freaking out, that's NOT good. His fiancee loves him and the mistake he has made was talking to a guy friend who's going through a bad time and that has set off old hurts and old worries inside of him..Making him think and wonder in not a good or healthy way. HE knows this woman and has been honest with her. I commend her for sticking with him, knowing all about his insecurities...Again, she's not given him ANY real reason for him to be feeling this way. It's self induced worry.
Mary3 Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 If I were in woggle's shoes I would break it off. I didn't take my ex on my offer to try again because I learned that the odds of 2nd chances working out were slim even though there was no cheating or lying on either one of our behalfs. My ex wanted to even marry me. I've had 2 offers from women since the break up for dating but I turned them down. I don't think woggle is less of a man just because he's afraid. Let me tell you something. Fear can be your best friend in life. A good motivator. It's rare in my opinion that fear can be your enemy. So if he & I are afraid of getting hurt it must be for a damn good reason. He need not worry about making a big mistake if he breaks up with her. He's more likely to be making a mistake and regretting it 10 years from now if he marries this girl. The likelihood that he will get divorced is very high. She will look for a reason to divorce. It happens 80% of the time. I guess some of you don't believe that it's better to error on the side of caution than error on the side of potential danger. I think that Woggle should not marry anyone right now until he gets clear about himself and what he expects from a potential mate. Marraige, this rush and push to do it , is really ignorant unless you have all your faculties in order. Marraige involves ALOT and TRUST is NUMERO UNO ! Woggle is far better off not marrying at this time but simply working out the kinks . Did you mention she was arrested for breaking out your windows ? Clarify that please.
whichwayisup Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 Yes everything in life is a risk but some things are more risky than others. Death is inevitable for all of us. We're all going to die eventually so it doesn't matter whether I drive a car or not. It doesn't matter if I walk outside my house or not. Getting burned by a woman is not inevitable if one avoids them. So I think you are mixing apples and oranges here. Things that are a matter of life & death are worth risking since nobody is going to live forever anyway. Women are not worth the risk. Woman are not worth the risk for those who've had their hearts broken. Sure, right. So, stay f**k'n miserable. Let it take over and ruin your life. Be unhappy. OR - s*** and get off the POT! Get therapy, work through the issues, be strong and DON'T let the past haunt the future. EVERYBODY HAS A CHOICE!
whichwayisup Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 Mary, he's talking about his EX, the crazy one, not his fiancee.
Tim'sAngel Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 - s*** and get off the POT! ! Couldn't have said it better myself
Mary3 Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 Woman are not worth the risk for those who've had their hearts broken. Sure, right. So, stay f**k'n miserable. Let it take over and ruin your life. Be unhappy. OR - s*** and get off the POT! Get therapy, work through the issues, be strong and DON'T let the past haunt the future. EVERYBODY HAS A CHOICE! The failure rate in new marraiges is quite high around 70% ( hope my facts are correct ) that will survive the 2 year mark. I say he get some therapy , clear his head and when the time is right , have at least a one to two year engagement period to see if you are still compatible. I never understood the Rush to marraige. If the relationship is so great it will still be there 2 years later when you both walk down the aisle.
Mary3 Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 Mary, he's talking about his EX, the crazy one, not his fiancee. Oh sorry , let me re-read that
Mary3 Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 As good as it is right now she is still a woman and a man never knows when a woman will up and leave. I believe that women don't truly love men but just love what they can get out of us. Women view men as toys to be used and discarded. I know she has an ulterior motive but I just can't figure it out yet and it is bugging the crap out of me. I don't want to spend my life wondering when she is going to finally walk out on me and if we have kids she will probably push me out of their lives. It just seems like to big a risk to me. I am going by this original post : The trust and fear of abandonment . I still say he get therapy and if he decides he wants to continue this towards marraige then he should have a long engagement.
luvtoto Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 So, Woggle's argument here is that he doesn't want to spend his life wondering when she is going to finally walk out on him. So, the answer to his problem is to walk out on her after asking her to marry him. I am having a hard time taking this seriously.
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