saosin Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 so i've been friends with this girl for a really long time, like nearly 2 years. we never really chilled much but we would always talk to each other a lot in school, online, or on the phone. lately i've been having feelings for her and i wanna be more than just friends. i just don't know how to approach that answer to her and i don't know how to show it to her. and another thing that worries me is that theres some guy who i know is going for her too. not only do i have the just friends problem but i have competition. i wish i knew what to do or how to just change direction of our relationship, anyone have any advice? ty
KillaPetehog Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 so i've been friends with this girl for a really long time, like nearly 2 years. we never really chilled much but we would always talk to each other a lot in school, online, or on the phone. lately i've been having feelings for her and i wanna be more than just friends. i just don't know how to approach that answer to her and i don't know how to show it to her. and another thing that worries me is that theres some guy who i know is going for her too. not only do i have the just friends problem but i have competition. i wish i knew what to do or how to just change direction of our relationship, anyone have any advice? ty I'll give you my advice and it's going to be different from a lot of what people will tell you on this site. i'm ready to get flamed by the women...but here goes. First of all, who cares about your competition! That shouldn't be what's holding you back. That is insecurity. Who cares what guy or what competition is in your way! You know what you want and you go for it, regardless of what guy is after her. Second of all, stop making assumptions! Go and ask her out. I'll tell you that it's damn near impossible to get out of the friends box...and everyone else here on this website will tell you otherwise...but it's VERY difficult. My advice is this, grab some balls and go ask her out. If she rejects you, you know where you stand. If she's cool with you, you got a date. If she rejects you, move on. Never keep someone who doesn't want to keep you. It's a lot easier to start brand new with SCRATCH with new women. And that's a fact. Women say that it's heartless...blah blah... The truth is...women determine what kind of guy you are going to be within the first day they meet...and it's VERY hard to get out of that category. So you've been in the friends box for 2 years? OUCH. Damn.....I know how that feels. But the only way to get out is to go and ask her out. Stop wondering and DO IT! If she says she wants to be "just friends"....she's basically telling you that you're not up to her standards. I used to be like you, man....and I know how that feels. She'll tell you about her boyfriend, about her problems...Don't listen to her problems anymore. Move on. She doesn't want you. Move on. Move on. Move on. But dont' burn bridges. Hot women connect you to hot women...so dont' ever go after her...but be friendly with her. Don't be bitter if you get rejected...just smile...and don't ever go after her ever again...You already have PLENTY of friends...you don't need friends that USE you. You can have all the women you want if you begin to understand one concept. Never keep someone who doesn't want to keep you Third of all, DON'T EVER make this mistake again. I don't care what anybody says here...Most likely, you'll just get some fluff and some comforting shyt from other people. Don't listen to that. Go for the truth. You can't turn friends into lovers. And you will be miserable being friends with a girl who will never love you the same way. I'll tell you the truth.....and I'm prepared to get flamed at... You always want to be romantic with every girl that catches your eye. NEVER try to be friends in the beginning. Be friendly...but add a tinge of sexuality. Once you're in the friends box, you aren't getting out of it. Be sexual and romantic with every girl from now on...and I PROMISE you, you will never run into this problem again. I used to be just like you...and I learned. Now, I get what I want, when I want it...because I go for women romantically in the beginning. You already have a lot of friends. You don't need to go after a friend that will use you. Know this rule: Women NEVER sabotage or ENDANGER friendships...and in her attempts to do so, she won't go for you sexually in fear of endangering that friendship.. That's why there's so many posts on here and on other dating forums on attempting to change a friend to a lover. It's very difficult. It's easier to go for a new girl...and be romantic with her from the start. Like I said, a LOT of people are going to disagree with me on this! So you choose your advice accordingly. Don't ever be friends...be romantic and add a tinge of sexuality..in the beginning. Peace.
noclobber Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 Each and every word is 100% truth! I'll give you my advice and it's going to be different from a lot of what people will tell you on this site. i'm ready to get flamed by the women...but here goes. First of all, who cares about your competition! That shouldn't be what's holding you back. That is insecurity. Who cares what guy or what competition is in your way! You know what you want and you go for it, regardless of what guy is after her. Second of all, stop making assumptions! Go and ask her out. I'll tell you that it's damn near impossible to get out of the friends box...and everyone else here on this website will tell you otherwise...but it's VERY difficult. My advice is this, grab some balls and go ask her out. If she rejects you, you know where you stand. If she's cool with you, you got a date. If she rejects you, move on. Never keep someone who doesn't want to keep you. It's a lot easier to start brand new with SCRATCH with new women. And that's a fact. Women say that it's heartless...blah blah... The truth is...women determine what kind of guy you are going to be within the first day they meet...and it's VERY hard to get out of that category. So you've been in the friends box for 2 years? OUCH. Damn.....I know how that feels. But the only way to get out is to go and ask her out. Stop wondering and DO IT! If she says she wants to be "just friends"....she's basically telling you that you're not up to her standards. I used to be like you, man....and I know how that feels. She'll tell you about her boyfriend, about her problems...Don't listen to her problems anymore. Move on. She doesn't want you. Move on. Move on. Move on. But dont' burn bridges. Hot women connect you to hot women...so dont' ever go after her...but be friendly with her. Don't be bitter if you get rejected...just smile...and don't ever go after her ever again...You already have PLENTY of friends...you don't need friends that USE you. You can have all the women you want if you begin to understand one concept. Never keep someone who doesn't want to keep you Third of all, DON'T EVER make this mistake again. I don't care what anybody says here...Most likely, you'll just get some fluff and some comforting shyt from other people. Don't listen to that. Go for the truth. You can't turn friends into lovers. And you will be miserable being friends with a girl who will never love you the same way. I'll tell you the truth.....and I'm prepared to get flamed at... You always want to be romantic with every girl that catches your eye. NEVER try to be friends in the beginning. Be friendly...but add a tinge of sexuality. Once you're in the friends box, you aren't getting out of it. Be sexual and romantic with every girl from now on...and I PROMISE you, you will never run into this problem again. I used to be just like you...and I learned. Now, I get what I want, when I want it...because I go for women romantically in the beginning. You already have a lot of friends. You don't need to go after a friend that will use you. Know this rule: Women NEVER sabotage or ENDANGER friendships...and in her attempts to do so, she won't go for you sexually in fear of endangering that friendship.. That's why there's so many posts on here and on other dating forums on attempting to change a friend to a lover. It's very difficult. It's easier to go for a new girl...and be romantic with her from the start. Like I said, a LOT of people are going to disagree with me on this! So you choose your advice accordingly. Don't ever be friends...be romantic and add a tinge of sexuality..in the beginning. Peace.
brightskies Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 Never keep someone who doesn't want to keep you Excellent point. This also goes for people trying to hold onto a partner who's breaking up/waffling with you.
norajane Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 Just start flirting with her and see what happens. It's not life or death, so no need to put all kinds of stress and pressure on it. If she flirts back, great. If not, move on and start flirting with other girls, and ask them out on dates.
hyakku Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 Killa just headshotted this post. Just a quick recap (because I'm bored and have nothing to do lol). 1. Screw the competition (figuratively, unless they are attractive females, then literally ). You are THE man, the ONLY man. You know what you are? God's gift to women. And make sure they are having fun with you, always. And make sure not to tell them you are God's gift to women, let it be known in your actions. 2. Getting out of the friend zone is near impossible, whenever a post starts with, "Ive been best friends with this girl for X years", usually means its too late. But don't die over this s***, grab those two great balls, run up to her, ask her out. Chances are she's gonna let you know that she wants to be friends. Then you can just say, "Yea, but if I didn't get it off my chest I was gonna explode, its cool . Anyway..." and go off into talking like its NO BIG DEAL. Because really, its not. 3. IF she says no, its up to you, you can be friends, or not. If you've been best friends for 2 years I'd stay friends. 4. Go meet more women, you are a teenager/young adult, you should be having sex like mad and having fun, don't worry about being commited at such a young age.
runner Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 Each and every word is 100% truth! although the LS member bashing was a tad over the top and really doesn't add to the point.
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