Pantero Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 Okay, I'm asking for advice this time and not giving it in this thread. Short version: NC with the ex for almost 3 months now since the time of the break-up. Problem: My best buds are all dating my ex's best friends. Memorial Day this weekend, which means BBQs and long weekend uh...STUFF going on. My friend invites me to this BBQ his g/f is throwing at her house and asks me to come AND if it's okay if they invite my ex (since his g/f and my ex are best friends). So I said to him, "yeah whatever...it's cool". Now about 7 hours after this discussion, all those old feelings of hurt are starting to come back. This right here is the problem. I don't know if I can really handle seeing her again, because quite frankly I'm pissed off at this whole situation. So...if you were in my position...would you go? Or would you not go?
RealBroken Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 Go, only if you can act like your life is now wonderful without her apparently. Man will be hard huh.
Tim'sAngel Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 I wouldn't go if it were me. JMO. If you know for a fact that it will hurt you or bring back all those old feelings you had finally stuffed in the back of your head, then why put yourself through all that again? Again, this is JMO
supersonic Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 i live with my ex girlfriend, she's getting a little closer, because i'm being happy and being the me that she loves. so i'd say you should go, if you stay home by yourself you'll feel a lot worse. be friendly, the side of you that everybody (including you) likes, and she'll be the same way. just don't spend lots of time with her. socialise, talk to your friends and have fun.
jerbear Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 I would say go make a cameo appearance. At some point in the future these event will happen; no point staying home. My saying is, if it doesn't kill you it'll make you stronger (or dead which at that time, don't worry about it)
scrybe74 Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 I say don't go. If you are stil having these feelings come up then I think you need more time. Why put yourself and your friends in this umcomfortable situation?
daphne Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 That's a tough one P. Last week I had successfully avoided my ex for about 5-6 weeks and didn't think I could handle sseeing him. He came looking. I didn't see him right off the bat and I was already having fun. When I did see him I realized that he didn't look so hot and was a little unhappy so it was easier to take. He's not terribly happy and I am. Although it brought memories of him to the surface, I realized that I have moved on enough to deal with seeing him on occasion and he wasn't as great as I thought he was. The good thing for me was that he realized I can live without him and so did I. The bad thing for you is if you don't come to this realization when you see her. It's amazing what happens when you haven't seen the ex in a long time. They no longer have magic around them and are quite ordinary. You may even question why you got all worked up over her. If you are still really hurt and in love I would say don't go. But if not, it might be worth it to see her fall from her pedestal. They sense it too and it's great to be on the other side.
Guest Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 Ok this is my thing. I have been dating this guy since i was 15 iam now 19. We have a 2 year old son together.. We was suspost to get married in november. Ok.....He broke up with me a month ago. I dont know how to get him back.....I know iam young but we were not your usually young couple...We took care of our son not our parents we didn't party and things like that...It hurts so bad becasue in my heart i want him and i just cant except that it is over. I gave him my whole heart....I dont feel that it is over....I have tryed moving on I went on a date the other day and it felt so wrong. I want to plan a very romantic get together and try one last time to save my family....I cant handle not seeing my son everyday.. and when christams comes and i cant see him open santa clause becasue he is with his daddy...I love him very much and i have tryed to get him back before....but he says he dosen't want to come back to what we had...We had gotten were we was fussing alot...Mostley me...HELP i want and need my family back... I have wanted so bad for my son to have the family i didn't have with a mom and dad together no steparents...
Author Pantero Posted May 27, 2006 Author Posted May 27, 2006 Thanks, you guys. I don't know wtf I'd do without this site...haha. It's going down tomorrow evening. I slept on it last night, woke up and felt like "yeah I could go for a bit, eat some BBQ, and just kind of be civil towards her when I had to and hang with some of the other ppl I haven't seen in awhile..." All of your arguments make a lot of sense...both who say go and both who say not to. It hits the nail right on the head, and from here the problem arises. Since both sides of the coin make sense, it's kind of hard to know what the right thing to do is...haha. Ultimately, I'd have to agree with the person who said that bumping into the ex will happen...ESPECIALLY in my case, so I'll most likely man-up and do it. I've got good self-control, so I'm not one of those psychotic exb/f's who'll flip out and sh-t. I'll sleep on it another night. I haven't seen a lot of these ppl in a long time due to my current lifestyle which is for all intensive purposes; OVERWORKED.
Tim'sAngel Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 All of your arguments make a lot of sense...both who say go and both who say not to. It hits the nail right on the head, and from here the problem arises. Since both sides of the coin make sense, it's kind of hard to know what the right thing to do is...haha. I think it all has to do with where you are at this point. We don't know that, only you do. Any of the times I've gone NC and then come in contact w/the ex, I usually do something very stupid only to regret it later, so be strong!! Have fun!
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