Cathia Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 I always seem to like the ones who are already taken! Now don't get me wrong, I wouldn't try anything on, or even flirt or try to get them interested in me, but obviously when you like someone you tend to think about them and are aware of how you act around them. I am not particularly crazy about this guy, (lets call him Juan, he’s Spanish!) just want some advice because of certain circumstances! I don’t know Juan well, and I know he has a gf who I think hes been with for a couple of years. I’ve chatted with him a few times (we’re on the same course at my Spanish uni), hes a nice guy, friendly but I think a little shy. One of my friends mentioned she thought he liked me, even though he has a gf (who is also on the same course), as she had noticed him looking at me quite a bit. I didn’t think much of it, but admittedly I always had a little bit of a crush on him. Last week I was on the bus to uni and saw him. We sat together and chatted for the journey. He asked what I was going to do next year as we’ll be finished in Spain in the summer. I said hopefully going to Sydney in January to work, and to my surprise he said he too was going there in February to do a masters. This was really weird, pretty much everyone in our class is staying in Spain or at least Europe and he doesn’t even speak great English. Today I was looking into my work there and was looking where one of the companies who might offer me a job are based (nothing to do with him). As it turned out though, they are right next to his uni (which isn’t even in Sydney, but much further out in the suburbs) and I just thought what a coincidence! Of course I might not get the job, but it just seems really weird that we might end up next year being on the other side of the world a 10 minute walk away from each other! I keep thinking about it, even though I don’t mean to, especially as he has a girlfriend. The thing is I don’t want to give him the wrong impression. I don’t know him that well so am not sure I definitely like him. He mentioned to me he wants to play football there but doesn’t know any clubs, so I said I could ask some ppl I know who live there if they know of any, which he seemed grateful for. As I wont see him again for a couple of weeks (its revision time) I was going to send him an email (to his uni address as I don’t have any other one) in the next few days just saying what I had found (otherwise I’ll probably forget and I leave soon after the exams) but do you think that’s a bit too upfront? I am wondering what he is likely to think from it. i.e will he think its nice of me, or being male will he take it for more (which isn’t my intention) Or having a gf should I just leave him alone (even I am just acting as a friend!) Thanks if you have thoughts! ~Cathy~ xox
Lovegod Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 Why on earth are you pursuing a man who's already taken? There are TONS of single men out there who are looking for a hottie to have fun with! Forget about this guy before your infatuation becomes an obsession, and you start doing stupid things.
Solachica Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 Forget about this guy before your infatuation becomes an obsession, and you start doing stupid things. I agree. Leave the taken guys alone.
Author Cathia Posted May 26, 2006 Author Posted May 26, 2006 Hi, thanks for your quick replies. Don't get me wrong, I am not purposely purusing him and it definately isn't an infatuation! If he announced he was getting married, I'd still want to keep in contact because it would mean having a friend in a new place when I move there and I enjoy chatting with him. I'd say I'm at the stage where I can block myself from liking him in that way. But, I do want to try to keep in contact without giving him the wrong message, and yes if he were to be single in the future maybe I'd be interested! ... Ok maybe I should think twice about sending the email (but it was meant to be a friendly thing?) If I do send it, how is he likely to take it?
Lovegod Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 ... Ok maybe I should think twice about sending the email (but it was meant to be a friendly thing?) If I do send it, how is he likely to take it? Personally, women who do s*** like that to me raise red flags. Now, if you didn't have some kind of infatuation (or crush) with him, why the hell are you even thinking of sending him an email? and yes if he were to be single in the future maybe I'd be interested! Again, you're attracted to him and you're hoping for more. Quit trying to sugar coat it. I'd say I'm at the stage where I can block myself from liking him in that way. You cannot control who you're attracted to. You can, however, prevent yourself from pursuing it.
brightskies Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 But, I do want to try to keep in contact without giving him the wrong message, and yes if he were to be single in the future maybe I'd be interested! Leave him be. He's TAKEN. You know you're attracted to him; and this kind of "trying to stay in contact" IS pursuing him. If you had a boyfriend, and another girl who likes him kept trying to hang around/chat with him, I seriously doubt you'd appreciate it.
Author Cathia Posted May 27, 2006 Author Posted May 27, 2006 Ok, I get the point and understand why, leave him alone. Sometimes its hard to see how things could be taken. But I understand, even if I want to do these things as a friend that fact there is attraction and he has a gf means its wrong. I'll leave him and if we meet up in Sydney great, if not then so be it.
Evanescence Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 Hey I know you say that you are a good girl and you aren't the type to steal someone's man... but why even bother with the emails and everything?? My ex broke up with me and started dating this bitch who was pursuing him even though she knew we were together for over 5 years. She even tried to kiss him while we were still together. Girls like that are sluts, and are not worthy of any relationship except possibly one with a guy who will do the same damn thing to her. I agree with someone elses' post that it should send up a red flag to him if you pursue him while he is with a gf... especially if they are really serious. I hope you are a good person, so please just leave him alone. Occasional chats are fine, but don't get any closer or you are just asking for trouble.
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