andyp6 Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 I'm asking this as an open question... A lot of us here are doing the NC thing right now. We have to move on somehow, and some of the advice is that if the x sees us getting on with things, it may spark the relationship off again. (generally not though) Has anyone an example of this working, going back and it being ok and working? I'm not asking out of some false hope reason, (well maybe a small amount) but the main reason is just to ask if NC can lead to it starting again, and it working? Andy
agnf666 Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 NC over a period of time can maybe help start things new with you and the ex. The thing is you have to heal from the break up. You guys have to get to a new point in your lifes, and once that is accomplished then maybe you can try things agian. To jump back inot the relationship with out enough time elapsing then the relationship more or less is not going to work out.
willduggan Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 this actually happened to me. in the winter of 2004/2005 i got dumped and after the month or so of doing the typical stupid guy thing and trying to win her back i resorted to the NC or more like the once in a blue moon contact. eventually she calls and wants to do something i was of course a bit wary. well i end up going and we hit it off again, having not seen her for oh...5 months or so made it like we were brand new again and things have been great since then too:)
insomnie Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 I don't have any experience of getting back togehter with anyone for good after NC, but I do agree that both people have to be in a new place in their lives for it have a chance of working again. Otherwise, nothing new is being brought into the relationship (you've heard all her stories, etc, nothing new with which to make magic) and the problems are still there, waiting to resurface. Every boyfriend I've had whom I've gone NC on did end up contacting me again, mostly out of curiousity I think. Nothing ever happened though mostly because at that point I was completley over them and had come to the realization that they were never right for me in the first place. Still, they did come back, and a couple even made moves on me.
Schn00ginz Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 I dated my boyfriend for six months and I broke up with him because things weren't going well (I took it back the next day, but he refused). So things started out with him calling me for booty every weekend when he was drunk and I agreed because I would do anything to see him. Finally he broke off all contact with me. 6 months later, as I am finally starting to have a life again, he calls me up and we end up going out. We had been going out for 4 1/2 years since then, and on Sunday he broke up with me. So does the NC thing work...I hope so. I pray to God that he will call me a few months from now. I will still be very much in love with him.
Diver012 Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 I just cant do it. I have never looked back at an Ex, even if I was the one that got dumped. Ive been on both sides of it... I think theres some truth that if a period of time goes by, circumstances can change a persons place in life, then maybe the reasons the relationship ended to begin with no longer exist. But most of the time, that just doesnt seem the case. For the dumper, going back is more than likely a test to see if they made a mistake or not. For the person being dumped, it usually provides false hope and if the relationship dies again, your back to square one. Personally, I like to take what I can from a relationship and learn from it. The signs I missed that I shouldnt have. I look at why I missed them, so the next time a similar situation happens, I can recognize it for what it is. For Example, my ex flat out told me she had fear of commitment issues. I had no respect or understanding for what that meant. She said she was handling it. Well, she handled it alright, pushed me infront of a truck without reason or warning... Lesson Learned... and I know Ive said this a bunch of times on this site, there are no second chances with me. Ill find someone else.. I dont give second chances to someone I feel has betrayed me.
Pantero Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 I dont give second chances to someone I feel has betrayed me. Damn right.
bootlegga Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 I'm asking this as an open question... A lot of us here are doing the NC thing right now. We have to move on somehow, and some of the advice is that if the x sees us getting on with things, it may spark the relationship off again. (generally not though) Has anyone an example of this working, going back and it being ok and working? I'm not asking out of some false hope reason, (well maybe a small amount) but the main reason is just to ask if NC can lead to it starting again, and it working? Andy Andy, The point of NC is not to win back your Ex. It may happen sometimes, but NC really is to allow you to get over the loss and pain of the end of a relationship. I can't give you false hope and say my Ex ran back into my arms after using NC, but I have used NC for 7 weeks with my Ex. She hasn't called, but I feel about a thousand times better than I did the in the first week after the break-up. Use NC to get over the loss and you may get them back. Then again, you may not. Personally, I don't think my ex is coming back (or if she does, it won't be for a long time), but that's okay. I'm using the time to bond with friends, hang out with family and improve myself. And when we do meet, maybe she'll realize she made a mistake and maybe not. Right now, to me, it doesn't matter. I'm having fun and enjoying life. That's what NC will do for you...maybe getting back your Ex is a bonus! Good luck and fight the good fight!
BeHappy Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Use NC to heal your pain, not to win them back. I know someone use NC for 9 months. He came back and ask her to go out with him again.
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