Guest Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 I really don't know what to do...I have a crush on this guy at work and I just couldn't get him out of my mind...recently I found out he has a gf and I was devastated. Thinking I'd slowly forget him but he's sitting right next to me doesn't help at all...I realize I really like him, so much that even knowing he has a gf I still like him...just being able to see him and talk to him..is like an addiction. I do not ever want to destroy anyone's relationship, I know I'm putting myself in a vulnerable position to get hurt and that I am risking alot of other factors. Is it really forbidden to fall for someone that is in a committed relationship? even though he's not married yet? I don't know what I should do, instead of feeling really hurting inside, I do feel guilty just because I still have feelings toward him. Anyone has this kind of experience and what do you do about this feeling? Any advice would be appreciated, thanks.
amgine Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 Yes, i know what you mean i really fell for this guy, and am still fighting my feelings for him. Except its not a GF he has, its a wife. I do feel guilty for having these feelings. I still have these feelings and have to keep telling myself that nothing will happen. I don't work with him, well not at the moment, hes going to apply for a job at my place. But he comes and talks with me at every opportunity. Its not forbidden to have these feelings these thoughts, only if you act on them.
Jessie61 Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 I really don't know what to do...I have a crush on this guy at work and I just couldn't get him out of my mind...recently I found out he has a gf and I was devastated. Thinking I'd slowly forget him but he's sitting right next to me doesn't help at all...I realize I really like him, so much that even knowing he has a gf I still like him...just being able to see him and talk to him..is like an addiction. I do not ever want to destroy anyone's relationship, I know I'm putting myself in a vulnerable position to get hurt and that I am risking alot of other factors. Is it really forbidden to fall for someone that is in a committed relationship? even though he's not married yet? I don't know what I should do, instead of feeling really hurting inside, I do feel guilty just because I still have feelings toward him. Anyone has this kind of experience and what do you do about this feeling? Any advice would be appreciated, thanks. Guest, You ask is it "forbidden" to fall for someone with a GF etc? Well, I'm not sure that it is f-o-r-b-i-d-d-e-n as such, but it sure spells trouble and heartache for people every single time that it happens!!! Besides, you can't help who you fall for, but falling for someone doesn't automatically mean that you should do anything about it, does it? In your case, I get the impression that nothing has happened? You only sit next to the guy and talk to him at work? I think you should try to focus on something else and avoid him as much as possible. It is a crush. You will get over it. If there is nothing to suggest that he is even remotely interested, then tell yourself that he isn't! And remind yourself that pursuing this guy is a path that WILL cause heart ache, certainly for you and potentially also the guy and his GF...
THX2000 Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 Yes, i know what you mean i really fell for this guy, and am still fighting my feelings for him. Except its not a GF he has, its a wife. I do feel guilty for having these feelings. I still have these feelings and have to keep telling myself that nothing will happen. I don't work with him, well not at the moment, hes going to apply for a job at my place. But he comes and talks with me at every opportunity. Its not forbidden to have these feelings these thoughts, only if you act on them. Agreed. Everyone has had feelings for someone that is already spoken for. However, like amgine said - it's a bad idea to act upon those feelings if they are already spoken for.
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