maxima888 Posted May 26, 2006 Share Posted May 26, 2006 I had a thread about this girl I was dating earlier about not contacting me right away afterwards because she might be tired from work, life..etc. because she leads a busy life with a new job and all... Same girl but different situation now... I would say about 1-2 weeks ago around the week of mothers day she asked me to hang out but I told her I can't because I had something to do that night and I tried to postpone it tomorrow nite but she didn't respond and I never heard from her again... Till yesterday I found out she was out sick from her friends, so I figured I leave her a msg online yesterday(get well etc etc). Today she replies back and few min later she calls me to hangout. I was on the phone with a friend and her calls pop up so we talked and she asked me to go play some sports with her and a mutual friend of mine (her best friend)... Mind you that I live a good 1hr drive from her and it was traffic nightmare on the highway but I managed because I wanted to see her. So we went played some ball and then afterwards decided to shoot pool. Alright everything is going decent I guess. So I overheard her best friend say " How is blah blah doing? u 2 only been together for 2 weeks blah blah?" then she replies "Hes not my bf" I was like "WHOAA..holddd up" in my mind but I kept my cool didn't over re-act but you could tell something was bothering me. So I dropped off her friend afterwards and on the drive home I talked to her about that. I sort of confronted her about the situation...she tells me she really likes me a lot and that shes not seeing this other dude... So I questioned her about why did you change the status of your profile online to "In a relationship" She replies: " He is a controling person and I'm sort of scared because of his controling personality" blah blah so I tell her controling ppl got bad temper becareful.... So I go and ask her...whats up between us? She goes she really likes me... I reply: We're friends and everything but I would like to straightin up whats up between us... Then she replies: I really like you and you kno me and my busy schdule n stuff. I reply: I understand your life is busy and stuff but I'm a person who always tries to work things out. I understand your life... Then she goes What do you want? I reply: I want whatever that makes you happy... we're good friends and I will always respect your decsion... and no matter what we will always be friends... Basicly this is where it end because I felt really sick (while driving) and had to go...dropped her off she kissed me goodbye... the end.. btw: she ask to go eat with me this sat. morning. I dont' get this Yes its long sorry...My questions is... what should I do nxt? clearify things? Just forget about this girl because she is playing me? Is she confused herself? Don't get me wrong she is a great friend and we dated a few times and everytime we go out we have a blast(we hold hands and stuff)... but this confuses the heck out of me. "nice guys do finish last" Link to post Share on other sites
vi_pn_babe25 Posted May 26, 2006 Share Posted May 26, 2006 I just read your post, and I'll elaborate more when I have more time but I just wanted to say it sounds like she's confused on what she wants. But in the mean time she wants you to hang around until she's ready to have a steady relationship. So she's sorta beating around the bush with you. I would say for now just be her friend and act like just a friend because you don't want to get your emotions involved with a girl that's wishy washy...you'll end up getting hurt. If you really like this girl then take things slow. You don't have to wait for her to come around, if she's talking to other guys (which it sounds like she is) than you should talk to other girls. But seriously if she said that you're not her bf than she's hanging around you for the wrong reasons. She's not being totally honest with you...just kinda beatin' around the bush. So don't let her play with your emotions k Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxima888 Posted May 26, 2006 Author Share Posted May 26, 2006 vi_pn_babe25, I Should of re-read what I typed...When I typed this last night I just got back from my last post and was extremely tired and confused... The part where I wrote that her friend said you've only been together for 2weeks ( it was not meant for me ) it was meant for some other dude... That is why I got sort of pissed off because I felt she was playing me but wasn't sure. Because we aren't 'official'.... The more I think about it... the more I feel like I'm getting played... Link to post Share on other sites
SweetPea80 Posted May 26, 2006 Share Posted May 26, 2006 maxima your post is sooooo long, geeez! I think what you have between this girl is a friendship. It seems like that's what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxima888 Posted May 26, 2006 Author Share Posted May 26, 2006 Goods news! Well this morning she called me to go breakfast... met up and ate went to shoot some pool afterwards... We decided to go shopping or movies next weekend... Then I was stuck on the highway for 2hrs and didn't realized she called me... I called her back and asked her out u kno...she said yes, but she wants to take it slowly...is still sorta confusing for me.. it is good news in a way... well this all my new development for today... Link to post Share on other sites
vi_pn_babe25 Posted May 26, 2006 Share Posted May 26, 2006 That's good news but like I said take things slow with her, and just act like a friend to her until she figures out what she wants. Don't get your emotions too involved at least for right now k Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxima888 Posted May 27, 2006 Author Share Posted May 27, 2006 well the thing is I reallly really like this girl...if not I wouldn't even bother driving all the way up there... I should really watch how to approach this...I've been hurt by her b4... because of her not contacting for 1week and a half...got over it and forgot about it already too.... but for now I'll just go with the flow..I'll keep you and who ever reads this updated if any of you readers are interested lol.. Link to post Share on other sites
vi_pn_babe25 Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 Well like you said just go with the flow and see what comes out of it. Keep us posted though k. I just wrote something in the personal rants because I can't believe I'm on here right now! lol But I thought I'd reply to ya Link to post Share on other sites
Lovegod Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 I should really watch how to approach this...I've been hurt by her b4... because of her not contacting for 1week and a half That's your fault for investing emotion into a woman who isn't your girlfriend. To protect yourself from constantly getting hurt, don't focus your emotional energy on a woman until you're in a relationship with her. You've barely got a date with this woman. Also, you shouldn't be focussing all your energy on one woman at a time. Focus your energy on MANY women and keep the ones around that you like the most. When you find a good woman to have a long term relationship with, that's when you ditch the rest of them. Also, why the hell aren't you phoning her? Women will phone you whenever they FEEL like it, which usually isn't all that often. When you have the phone number, it puts the power of the phone into your hands. I called her back and asked her out u kno...she said yes, but she wants to take it slowly This is NOT good news. She's not really that attracted to you, and is only trying NOT to hurt your feelings. You're acting like a needy little girl, and it's NOT attractive to her. Since you're so emotionally invoved with her already, and she is REALLY hinting to be "just a friend", you're best off to drop her and move onto something a little more certain. By staying with this woman, you're only going to drag the dying horse through the mud trying to get him to run. Then she replies: I really like you and you kno me and my busy schdule n stuff. That's a pile of horses***. If a woman is TRULY interested in you, she'll make time for you. She's feeding you bulls*** excuses, and you're happily eating them. So I questioned her about why did you change the status of your profile online to "In a relationship" She replies: " He is a controling person and I'm sort of scared because of his controling personality This is another bad sign. She's still involved with someone else. She won't be able to focus all her energy on you if she's still got "feelings" for this other dude. Remember, women are naturally attracted to confident men (including a**h***s). You're not her knight in shining armour, and you're not going to woo her into riding off into the sunset for the sole reason that you're a nice guy. Drop this woman, and work on attracting women. Non-sexual touch and teasing women do absolute wonders. Link to post Share on other sites
gfto Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 Lovegod is absolutely right. This girl isn't interested in you romantically; just as a friend. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxima888 Posted May 27, 2006 Author Share Posted May 27, 2006 Hey lovegod, thanks for the reply and I really appreciate your output in this... You have a good point at certain aspects and I do agree to a certain extent also... I mean I told her straight up that if its not ganna work out just let me know. I don't want to be left hanging...after that she said she really likes me still. But with her new work she don't want me to feel like she don't have time for me. And I told her I understand and respected that because of her job certain things are limited. I mean at that point she could of said to me bluntly and told me off. She had many chances to do so but why keep up the games? To keep me on my feet? I guess being on a internet forum its harder to say certain things and make it mean a certain way. But your pointers do get me thinking and I do thank you for that. And I will deff keep this updated to see what happens. In retrospect I hope your wrong but I know your just looking out for a fellow LS member. Link to post Share on other sites
gfto Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 I mean I told her straight up that if its not ganna work out just let me know. The problem with this is that a woman who is not interested in you will not come right out and tell you it isn't gonna work, even if you ask her directly, because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. I don't want to be left hanging...after that she said she really likes me still. This doesn't mean anything. But with her new work she don't want me to feel like she don't have time for me. This is a classic "not interested" line. When they like you, they make time for you. I mean at that point she could of said to me bluntly and told me off. She had many chances to do so but why keep up the games? To keep me on my feet? Again, a woman will not come right out and tell you, "I'm just not that interested in you, and we'll never be more than just friends." She isn't trying to keep you on your feet. She's just trying to let you down gently. I don't mean to sound too harsh or beat up on you. Like Lovegod, I'm simply looking out for you! I would really recommend that you focus on getting some new phone numbers. Link to post Share on other sites
vi_pn_babe25 Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 yah not 2 be harsh but I'd say drop the b***h lol don't give her any more of your time, it's her loss Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxima888 Posted May 27, 2006 Author Share Posted May 27, 2006 wow this is really disappointing to hear... but you guys make very valid points. Esp. since I'm new to the dating scene and am not fully aware of all the signs people give out. Everytime I date a girl they are always interested because of how I look and when they meet me (my personality) things change. I know whats my problem. I'm too nice, always there, like how lovegod, easily noticed (clingy/needy)... Sigh, in high school dating was so much more simple. Now everything is as complicated as ever. 5-6 different girls I've dated after my 5year long term relationship ended and none of them are successes. I've got to re-evaluate myself. I told my self plenty of times to put myself ahead and everytime I meet some1 I'm truely insterested but I go head over heels for them. This is such a bummer. Link to post Share on other sites
vi_pn_babe25 Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 We're not trying to disappoint you, but all we can know is what you tell us, so we (I) don't know what really goes on ya know? Sorry I wasn't trying to offend you in any way, but from you have said I just don't want you getting hurt Because it sounds like she's pretty much stalling until someone else comes along. Also since you said you might be too nice with girls, they will start to use that (you) to their advantage. But there are plenty of girls out there that will appreciate you for who you are, it's just hard to find sometimes but the right one will come along, just be patient and keep your head up Link to post Share on other sites
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