RealBroken Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 Hey, have broken up with girlfriend of seven months. Long story but real gutted. Anyway, we are doing 'No Contact' at her request. However, myself and her father have become great mates. Can I continue to be mates with him? She has declared she doesnt like it, probably because he has expressed his disappointment at us breaking up and probably still is. I said to her hey we are friends, and il only ever visit for a coffee on occassion or fishin trip etc, I wont be asking all about you, the most il say is how are you doing. She doesn't like the idea. It sucks. Should I stay away? Maybe for a bit?
Tim'sAngel Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 Well, IMO, it is never a good idea to stay friends w/the family, unless of course you were friends before. This will make it impossible for NC, especially if she is living with or around her family. Plus, it kind of pits the girl against her father. I'd be upset if my bf and I broke up and my dad would come around telling me I shouldn't have broken up w/him... It is only my business ya know? You don't want to cause problems between them... or maybe you do i dunno This is JMO
jellybean Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 yes, you should stay away...this is a very sticky, uncomfortable situation for all parties involved.
Author RealBroken Posted May 26, 2006 Author Posted May 26, 2006 Will prob make things worse between us eh. She doesn't live with him. The awkward thing is, I'm gonna bump into him a bit. Fell bad.
Tim'sAngel Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 Will prob make things worse between us eh. She doesn't live with him. The awkward thing is, I'm gonna bump into him a bit. Fell bad. Well you can be nice and polite, but I wouldn't suggest any chummy meetings or outings w/him. He should understand
Author RealBroken Posted May 26, 2006 Author Posted May 26, 2006 Yup, I wont contact him at all. Because I wanna respect her wishes. I just wish she had some respect for me though. She's so cold. Haven't contacted her since. 15 days.
radiation7740 Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 I forgot to cover this subject in my guide. I am a believer in doing NC with the ex's family as well as the ex. That also includes NC with her friends or even mutual friends. Me and my ex's father got along great. He's like a 2nd father to me. He even asked me when I was going to marry his daughter. When I started NC I also applied NC with her parents too. Yes it hurts. I miss him but he's not my father. I too would be upset if any of my exes stayed in contact with members of my family. I find it rather disrespectful. It is never a good idea to ask the ex's family to talk to her about taking you back. I don't advise it.
vampress1 Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 I think you've made the right decision as far as not contacting the ex's dad... I just thought I would add another reason into the mix. When your ex starts dating again (and sorry, she will), the friendship between you and her father will be wicked weird. If he's a good dad, he will want to support his daughter in her new relationship, thus kicking you out of the equation. How weird would that be? I think that has got to be one of the most awkward feelings. I watched this happen to an ex boyfriend of mine and my brother... I felt bad, but I suspected it would happen all along and warned both parties. Needless to say, my ex is very uncomfortable around my brother any time they run into eachother. Too bad really, it all could have been avoided.
andyp6 Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 I can put a different twist on this. My best friend is in a relationship with the x's best friend. I have needed help and company but can't talk to my best friend about it...my x is now seeing her best friends brother, and they all meet up! That is so tough for me knowing that...also for my best friend I would think, but I don't know for sure. At least you are not alone. [like me] Andy
Guest Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 u should keep doing what ur doing..if u feel that it is rite to be friends with her family then do it ...thats how i am with my x..w.e he like it or not i dont care its my life yah i talk about him..but w.e u feel comfortable then u should do w.e feels rite for u..!!!! Hey, have broken up with girlfriend of seven months. Long story but real gutted. Anyway, we are doing 'No Contact' at her request. However, myself and her father have become great mates. Can I continue to be mates with him? She has declared she doesnt like it, probably because he has expressed his disappointment at us breaking up and probably still is. I said to her hey we are friends, and il only ever visit for a coffee on occassion or fishin trip etc, I wont be asking all about you, the most il say is how are you doing. She doesn't like the idea. It sucks. Should I stay away? Maybe for a bit?
Author RealBroken Posted May 28, 2006 Author Posted May 28, 2006 I would really like to reconcile with her if its possible. I'm kinda guessin that to do this i should stay away from him? When he found out we had broken up, he flipped at her and told her she was a silly girl! I know he probably stil will bring me up with her in conversation. I know that it will prob make her angry. So I guess i should stay away. Him, backin me up and trying to encourage her to reconcile is probably just as bad as me doing it myself. Don't you think?
Tim'sAngel Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 I would really like to reconcile with her if its possible. I'm kinda guessin that to do this i should stay away from him? When he found out we had broken up, he flipped at her and told her she was a silly girl! I know he probably stil will bring me up with her in conversation. I know that it will prob make her angry. So I guess i should stay away. Him, backin me up and trying to encourage her to reconcile is probably just as bad as me doing it myself. Don't you think? It isn't up to him. It is her decision. If she wants NC, then thats what she wants.
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