SUPERBAD Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 I’m going to be completely honest and have the balls to admit I’m your typical controlling alpha-male who usually bullies women and has a knack for making other people feel bad about themselves. I’m always been a big city boy, spoiled… and my story starts when I moved to a small valley town in Southern Ontario to live with my grandparents after my parents divorced. Like my father before me… my experiences with women at the time mostly consisted of leading them on, playing hard to get... and jerking them around, never really caring. It was all a head game – up until I met one that I thought was OK. She came into my life right while I was finishing high school and she had spent her life living out in the country ( what can I say, opposites attract ). I was her first, and before I knew it we’d both confessed to loving each other. I, however, was never good to her. When an argument came up I would just leave and she would feel miserable… I looked down on her because she decided not to finish school and she smoked too much weed. I made her feel bad about it and a lot of other things. Despite the fact that she would do everything and anything to please me (I mean anything) I eventually dumped her after 5 months because I didn’t think she would be someone I would want to spend my future with. Being a small town with only a few popular local hang-outs for the people our age, I saw her a few weeks later at a Pool Hall. Another guy ( some uninteresting loser ) was interested in her. Emotions and jealousy came over me, and I just told her I’d give her another go and also said never talk to other guys… haha…. I’m horrible… Well next thing you know 2 and a half years had passed quickly. I finished college, she had a few jobs here and there and I suddenly had a whole different opinion of her. I thought for sure that I’d want to start a family with her. I started to treat her nicer and there were few arguments. It turns out that as I fell more in love, she fell out of love… and the following 6 months she started to become a lot more of a bitch to me. I tried to make more of an effort to be nicer, even though I’m not naturally a nice guy. I started calling her too much and not giving her space. (Big mistake) She made some girl friends who could only be described as “bar trash” in my eyes and spent every moment she could with them. Well that just pissed me right off let me tell you… and I called her some really bad things that I certainly regret. Well before I knew it she’d dumped my ass, and naturally as women seem to do – jumped right into a relationship with someone that has half my IQ. … and of course - sex and all with someone else before I could blink. It’s the classic storyline. This is the first time I’ve ever experienced heart ache … the full range of human emotion and I hate it. The thought of my former girl with someone else makes me feel everything from anger to sadness… to hate. I realize of course I deserve this but damn… I wish I could have gone back and changed things because I feel so empty suddenly. She won’t talk to me anymore and says she regrets the relationship.. doesn’t love me… blah blah… Well any comments on what I should do would be appreciated and don’t hesitate to give me your full opinion of me… I need this.
daphne Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 As much of a prick as you were to her, it seems like that's what she needed. It sounds like she really didn't cotton to your more caring side. Of course I'm only hearing one side to it. Sometimes women just get tired of being treated like crap and move on. She moved on after you started treating her well. She's probably now with someone who treats her like crap. Either that, or she was waiting for the tables to turn to get her revenge. Honestly, I think it's the first one though. Not to let you off the hook. I hope you learned something from this.
littlekitty Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 I think you learned a classic love lesson. You realise you were wrong. You realise you behaved badly, and you realise you've lost because of it. Perhaps you'll learn not to judge too quickly, and to treat the person you care about better in the future. For the main part, just being hurt will have made you a better person. Because hopefully now, you'll be less likely to wish to inflict that pain on another person. It's just a step we all have to go through... many men until they have been hurt, tend to be arseholes!
dr strangelove Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 Im not sure what you are looking to hear. And btw IQ is relative. Im curious how high your IQ actually is.. genius level ? Actually the higher up your IQ gets the harder it is to interact socially. I can also tell you are very young. Are you looking for ways to get her back?
Pantero Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 Now you know... "And knowing is half the battle..." I'm not gonna say "good luck" or anything like that. Personally, I don't hate players, but I DO think this was a long-time coming for guys like you. This applies to the females as well. It's not one-sided. KARMA can be a real b-tch, eh?
Tim'sAngel Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 Well at least you know now what all the other girls felt when you broke their hearts! It's a lessoned learned, we all learn what heart ache feels like. It's also just the pains of growing up. I honestly don't think we stop till we're dead. Mistakes are only mistakes if we don't learn something and better ourselves as a result. JMO
riobikini Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 There's not enough room on here for me to give you my "full opinion", but the short version is this: do you think you've learned enough from all this to have *grown up*....just a little? A broken heart, a 'bad' experience, a little humiliation...all that has the ability to wake you up. Question is, -can you put any of it to good use? -Rio
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