Guest Posted May 25, 2006 Posted May 25, 2006 So, here is my story. I've been on again off again w/ the father of my child for about 9 years now. Through the 9 years we have done just about everything a couple/ friends can do except marry. We are the best of friends, we have lived together, we maintained a great friendship following the birth of our child, etc. I never stop loving him, but silently wished that we'd marry. So the day finally came when he asked me to marry him. Here comes all the trouble. We spent a whole evening discussing all that we had done together and with others throughout the 9 years. He of course has done more than I have. I was taking aback, but decided it didn't matter, as this was the next logical step (marriage) for us to take for us and our child. But, when I specifically asked him about this one female in particular, he admitly denied that they were anything but friends. Well needless to say, I happeneded upon a letter she sent to him. And it clearly disputed everything he told me. I called the female up and asked her about the letter. She enlightend me on somethings. I quickly followed up w/ a call to him. He gave me his version, which I believe(d). Another child is now in question. I'm at a total lost. But, I sided w/ my finace and decided that base on what he said that he just wanted this mistake over and a DNA test could solve that. The female said she was having one done and he agreed to particapate so that we could move on w/ our plans to marry. Well things have gotten out of hand. The female says that she is not going to pay for the test to make me happy. He can't afford to pay and the question of paternity is still unanswered. The other female was not getting the hint that there was nothing between my finance and her, so I called to reinterate the point. This lead to a lot of things being said and more people getting involved. Both of them admit that neither of them was in a relationship when they had their fling.The female called my house and disrespected me and my finace allowed this to happen I feel. So I confronted him on it, and he denied the disrespect. Why can't he just make her do the test and why is he continuing to speak w/ her if she was just a mistake from years back?? I am angry. I called off the wedding until I can think straight. I love him so much and my dream of being a family is finally at the tip of my fingers. I know we will still wed, I'm just confused right now. Why did he admit to all the other women and lie about this one?? He tells me and so does she that they were only together one time, but I can't help but wonder if there is really much more that I'm not being told. He says the child is definately not his. AM I over worked up about this?? We are still the best of friends, I just wonder if this was really a mistake and is it really over between him and her. I know that he was not accepting calls and he blocked her e-mail. I don't understand how we have such an open relationship and yet this was so secretive. I check is email and he checks mine, we discuss things openly bad or good. What is happening. In the back of my mind I can't help but to think that he's using me, but why use me for 9 years?? She has called my home again and I don't answer the phone, but I do inform my finace that she has called. Maybe I should hear what she has to say???
Recommended Posts