hottandfun Posted May 25, 2006 Posted May 25, 2006 I just moved about a month ago and I am getting a devorice from my husband of six years. I went to apply for a new job my first week here, and the man who intervied me looked so good. We met up that night after he got off work. I told him my story and why I had moved here. He then told me how much he like me and how good I looked. We were joking around and he made a comment about being married, but I didn't pay too much attention. We went for a walk and he kissed me and told me how much he wanted to be involved with me. I told him to call me the next day. He called and I asked if he was really married and he said yes. He said his wife was going out of twon for a few days and He would love to spend some time with me. So, I went. He invited me to his home and when I got there I learned he and his wife had a child a few months back. He has only been married a year. I asked him if he ever cheated on his wife and he said once. Things just got intense after that. Every day his wife was gone we met up at his home. I even stayed one night. He was amazing! I got the job where he works and he is my boss now. The company has an apratment for thier out of town bosses who come in from time to time. He haas a key and we have been going there for an hour or two of sex when he can come up with an excuse after work that his wife believes. I know it is wrong. When this started I thought I was just going to have a night or two of fun, but now I seem to be getting more emotionally involved. In some ways I want to end this, but in other ways I don't. He says he cares for me and I know that's to string me along, but I just don't know what to do????
dontbfooled Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 I suggest you end things before you fall in love. You're only setting yourself up for heartache and trouble. Stop now while you can!!!! Do yourself a favor. You are just going through a divorce... find a man who is AVAILABLE. Or just see what it's like to be on your own for a little while.
Sami_D Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 What you need to do is to end it before you get further involved. There is NO WAY this is going to pan out well. Please tell him you don't want to continue. Don't listen to any more of his BS. You KNOW he's stringing you along. YOU WILL get emotionally involved. Get out now!
THX2000 Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 I just moved about a month ago and I am getting a devorice from my husband of six years. I went to apply for a new job my first week here, and the man who intervied me looked so good. We met up that night after he got off work. I told him my story and why I had moved here. He then told me how much he like me and how good I looked. We were joking around and he made a comment about being married, but I didn't pay too much attention. We went for a walk and he kissed me and told me how much he wanted to be involved with me. I told him to call me the next day. He called and I asked if he was really married and he said yes. He said his wife was going out of twon for a few days and He would love to spend some time with me. So, I went. He invited me to his home and when I got there I learned he and his wife had a child a few months back. He has only been married a year. I asked him if he ever cheated on his wife and he said once. Things just got intense after that. Every day his wife was gone we met up at his home. I even stayed one night. He was amazing! I got the job where he works and he is my boss now. The company has an apratment for thier out of town bosses who come in from time to time. He haas a key and we have been going there for an hour or two of sex when he can come up with an excuse after work that his wife believes. I know it is wrong. When this started I thought I was just going to have a night or two of fun, but now I seem to be getting more emotionally involved. In some ways I want to end this, but in other ways I don't. He says he cares for me and I know that's to string me along, but I just don't know what to do???? Let me get this straight. You get involved with someone that you (a) know is married and (b) know has cheated on his wife of only 1 year before you. In addition to that you invade the sanctuary of his home while his wife is away? Wow you have a huge helping of come uppance coming to you sister. You should get yourself to counselling staright away because you are really screwed up.
RealityCheck Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 Awe come on now..... Don't be so hard on her! Who isn't vulnerable after Divorce. Hell! I sure was and knowing me, I probably would have went for the fun too! But truth is, these ladies are correct, get out now before you get too attached!
THX2000 Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 Watch out... the Karma Police are on the case. A lot of people mistake the difference between Karma and reaping what you sow. Karma is "the effect that one's actions that determine thier destiny in their next incarnation". Reaping what you sow is "getting what you deserve" or so to speak in this life. Sorry for the rant and I don't want to sound judgemental (and I know that I do ) but some people just need to hear the truth - plain and simple. Let's not sugar coat what this young woman is doing - it's sick....and wrong. Perhaps if society weren't so willing to accept these behaviours we wouldn't have as many failed marriages and that applies not only to the OW - double for the MM. I wonder if this girl thinks about how big of an a-hole this guy is for cheating on his wife and moreover doing it in her bed.
THX2000 Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 Awe come on now..... Don't be so hard on her! Who isn't vulnerable after Divorce. Hell! I sure was and knowing me, I probably would have went for the fun too! But truth is, these ladies are correct, get out now before you get too attached! Come on RealityCheck! I understand people make mistakes - God knows I have made a few in my life. However, how you deal with those mistakes helps define who you are as a person. Taking some accountablility in this case and doing the right thing is not the easy thing but it's the right thing to do. Coddling people that are making mistakes cripples them - not help them.
Jessie61 Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 Hotandfun, Come on... Look at what you have told us about this guy... He came on to you at the interview. He invited you over coz his W was out of town for a couple of days. He is married only a year. He has already cheated once before (that he tells you about!) He has sex with you in his marital bed. Now when his W is back, he brings you to a company apartment for sex when the urge arises... Now tell me if you really like what you see.... I am sure that there are redeeming features about him too, but they would have to be pretty damn good to outweigh what you yourself have said about him. OK, you had your fun. But the fact that you are even posting means that you KNOW that something isn't right. Yes, he says that he "cares about" you, and you believe him..... exactly why? Please please please get out before you get in too deep... Otherwise this will end in tears. This guy does not deserve you. You can do a lot better than him!!!! I KNOW you can.....
THX2000 Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 Hotandfun, Come on... Look at what you have told us about this guy... He came on to you at the interview. He invited you over coz his W was out of town for a couple of days. He is married only a year. He has already cheated once before (that he tells you about!) He has sex with you in his marital bed. Now when his W is back, he brings you to a company apartment for sex when the urge arises... Now tell me if you really like what you see.... I am sure that there are redeeming features about him too, but they would have to be pretty damn good to outweigh what you yourself have said about him. OK, you had your fun. But the fact that you are even posting means that you KNOW that something isn't right. Yes, he says that he "cares about" you, and you believe him..... exactly why? Please please please get out before you get in too deep... Otherwise this will end in tears. This guy does not deserve you. You can do a lot better than him!!!! I KNOW you can..... The voice of reason! That is exactly what I tried to convey but ended up sounding preachey and condescending. Glad you could express what I could not.
RealityCheck Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 Come on RealityCheck! I understand people make mistakes - God knows I have made a few in my life. However, how you deal with those mistakes helps define who you are as a person. Taking some accountablility in this case and doing the right thing is not the easy thing but it's the right thing to do. Coddling people that are making mistakes cripples them - not help them. Ummm...Excuse me! Who's coddling here! If you read my post, I was speaking of being vulnerable after Divorce! Hardly coddling! Secondly, if you read my second line I said "the ladies are correct, remove yourself before you get too attached!" I don't believe in "mistakes" I believe in "choices" and with every life experience there are choices. If we so choose to go down the path with more trials and tribulations there is an obvious purpose to that choice. It is what we take from that path of choice that defines who we are! If I was to take the path of least resistance I would have become a very weak spirited person. I am all for accountability! Heck! Whatever I do in life are made by "free will" of "my choice".
movinon05 Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 Hotandfun, Come on... Look at what you have told us about this guy... He came on to you at the interview. He invited you over coz his W was out of town for a couple of days. He is married only a year. He has already cheated once before (that he tells you about!) He has sex with you in his marital bed. Now when his W is back, he brings you to a company apartment for sex when the urge arises... Now tell me if you really like what you see.... I am sure that there are redeeming features about him too, but they would have to be pretty damn good to outweigh what you yourself have said about him. OK, you had your fun. But the fact that you are even posting means that you KNOW that something isn't right. Yes, he says that he "cares about" you, and you believe him..... exactly why? Please please please get out before you get in too deep... Otherwise this will end in tears. This guy does not deserve you. You can do a lot better than him!!!! I KNOW you can..... Can I add that you also met with him the night of your interview!! And you went for a walk? And... (fill in the blanks). What's up with that? He was looking from the very beginning. He doesn't know you. He was just attracted to you. And wanted some cake and used the job as an excuse. Please don't fall for his lines! You're just going through a divorce! Give yourself some time to find a single guy, at least!! Do you really want more stress in your life?
Author hottandfun Posted May 26, 2006 Author Posted May 26, 2006 I enjoyed his company because he is nothing like my husband was. I know I can do better and I guess that's what I will do. My only other problem is work. I know it is worng, but in some ways I feel like he may use this job against me. I really like the job, but I can't really tell his boss what has been going on. I am going to email him tonight and tell him I can't do this. I know you all are right.
movinon05 Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 You know what? You just got into this job. I would start looking for another one while you can and before you get stuck! JMHO.
whichwayisup Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 I agree, you've made a big mistake by sleeping with the man who was going to be your boss. That and the fact he already ONCE cheated on his wife, only been married a year with a new baby. And he's now been cheating on his wife with you. I'll tell ya, he isn't ever going to leave his wife for you. And even if he did, do you really want a guy who has cheated twice already on his wife? Do you think he "loves" you? He may care about you and have some feelings, but it's all sex related - LUST. That is NOT love. Think of their child, think of his wife. Think of yourself. You're worth more than this! Good luck.
Jessie61 Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 You know what? You just got into this job. I would start looking for another one while you can and before you get stuck! JMHO. I totally agree! Don't even entertain the idea of staying in the new job. Get a new immediately! Otherwise, he WILL use the job against you, I don't think that there is any doubt about that. Please please please get out NOW! You want a fresh start for yourself. Like Movinon said, you are just out of a divorce. You don't need this stress. You should do everything in your power to make your life BETTER, not worse. So get out while you still can. NOW!!!! I genuinely wish you all the best!
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