RecordProducer Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 I see a much bigger problem here than the ex bugging YOU. She seems to be an irresponsible mother that can't handle 4 children, out of which one is a drug addict and alcoholic. Your boyfriend, on the other hand, has "assigned" his 3 children to an irresponsible and weird mother while watching the hard game of parenting from a safe distance. Children need care daily, not 3 days a week. The mother has been with them every day, while your BF enjoys his time with you. He consciously or subconsciously must feel guilty about it even if he claims that she is the worst mother in the world. My ex-husband abandoned me and our two-year old twins and was seeing them, at first every day, then every other day, then for 4.5 months no calls, no nothing (even for their 4th B/day he didn't call or show up!), then every other day again, then every other weekend and on Wednesdays for a few hours... He claimed during all this time that I was a bad mother and he took all the care of my kids together with my mom! He didn't even want to take them to the doctor when they were sick! Your BF has a reason why he lets his ex bother him at 3 am. You're not his wife yet so don't give yourself too much freedom to interfere. All in all, it sucks to be with someone who has kids unless there are no problems. My husband adores my sons and they him, but he is a rare case. He involves a lot of effort in raising them, a lot of affection and love and time and money... I, for example, didn't want a man with children, although I have two. I've had a bad experience with my ex-husband who had a daughter from his first marriage and realized that I didn't need that s*** in my life again. Almost ALL couples with children from previous relationships fight either because of the kids or their mothers. It's usually hard to handle them so don't take this problem lightly. You might be surprised how his ex-family might ruin the picture of the "great man" you see in him. You're blinded with love right now and can't see further than your nose! Please be careful and don't make any babies too soon, until you're sure that he IS the one. Hopefully she will leave you alone soon and things will be OK. Good luck!
Mz. Pixie Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Write a check definitely. My mom screwed my dad over that very way years ago. He gave her cash and when he remarried she came back and said that he didn't. Since he didn' t have any cancelled checks he had to pay her back child support.
Guest Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 Tell her to go out and get a life and change your phone number.
dice4 Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 Tell her to go out and get a life and change your phone number. Problem solved!
Fun2BMe Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 Tell her to go out and get a life and change your phone number. Problem solved! Her children and the father of her children who she has to get a hold of ARE a part of her life. I hate it when men do not associate with the mother of their children just because there is a new woman in their life. Responsibilites are responsibilites. If she is going through some trouble that affects her and ultimately her children's lives who are connected to her, then yeah she can call his ass any time she has to so he shares in the burdon and helps out. I don't think she's calling to have phone sex.
Touche Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 Fun has a point. You can't just change phone numbers and ignore her BUT she has to be kept in line. They're not married anymore. She doesn't have the right to call all the time as if they are. It has to be within reason...3 am, unless it's an EMERGENCY is NOT within reason, IMO.
Fun2BMe Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 Fun has a point. You can't just change phone numbers and ignore her BUT she has to be kept in line. They're not married anymore. She doesn't have the right to call all the time as if they are. It has to be within reason...3 am, unless it's an EMERGENCY is NOT within reason, IMO. They're not married anymore, but they still have children together. We don't know why she called. For all we know he could've left her hanging on a responsibility to fulfill. Why is it that he didn't tell her what it was about that she called? I don't know the situation but it is easy for him to paint a bad picture of her when she could be suffering because of his irresponsible nature and lack of help.
Touche Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 They're not married anymore, but they still have children together. We don't know why she called. For all we know he could've left her hanging on a responsibility to fulfill. Why is it that he didn't tell her what it was about that she called? I don't know the situation but it is easy for him to paint a bad picture of her when she could be suffering because of his irresponsible nature and lack of help. Yes, I too thought it was a little strange that he didn't tell her why she called so late. It just didn't sound like an emergency from what the OP said. Who knows though..
Fun2BMe Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 Yes, I too thought it was a little strange that he didn't tell her why she called so late. It just didn't sound like an emergency from what the OP said. Who knows though.. Maybe he was supposed to have picked up the 3 children from the 18 year old step brother she had left them with and found out he hadn't. Maybe he pretended not to have known she was leaving town. WHO KNOWS. All I know is that it is tough for a single mom when the father is not there to share the responsibilities but instead thinks a child support check will cover everything just because it is the minimum required by law. Most wouldn't even voluntarily provide the child support if the court didn't force them to.
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