ILCS Posted May 25, 2006 Posted May 25, 2006 Alright, I'll be frank. I've known this girl for a few years now and have been interested in her but have never really had the oportunity or have even tried to get close. After needing to borrow a book, we began talking more and after a few days we talked for around 2 hours on the internet one night. 2 Days after that, we talked for about and hour and half. She told me when talking about her best friend that they usually talk everynight for at least 30mins. What did we talk about? Well, first most of our conversations start with school but then go off topic. That night that we talked for 2 hours, she was working on an essay, and I felt bad about keeping her away from it, but I was just so excited and was loving the moment. I know that if she wasn't doing an essay, she wouldn't have talked to me for so long, but, a few days later, when she didn't have an essay, we at least talked for 30 minutes. So, what's my problem? I know her and her group of friends but I am not part of that group. They know me, and while I'm friendly and we get along, I don't see a way of becoming more involved with them easily. I somtimes think that I need to get in that group to get to the girl I like, and yet I need the girl I like to get in that group! Quite the paradox. I believe I should be taking this slow, but I'm so damn excited. I've had thoughts of telling her about how long I've been interested in her and why, ect. However, I fear the time might not be right and I would sacrifice any chance down the line. I should probably take this slow, however, I don't know what to do in the mean time. Right now, when I get home, I'm so anxious and nervious that I can't think at all, which is a problem with homework! Today, for example, I just had to sleep to relax. I'd like to get more information to see if she's seeing anyone and I've thought about contacting one of her friends and talking to him about it. I know him pretty well, although I'm not exactly sure if I could trust him. I'm sorry for writing so much but, yes, I need some advice. Thank you.
Author ILCS Posted May 25, 2006 Author Posted May 25, 2006 ah yeah the thread I made as a guest now appeared, I did that like hours before I made this post...I guess it takes longer for guests. Well, please help me out in this thread thx! Any replies should be helpful. Also, I just went out for a 2+ hour walk because I was "bored." Really, I knew I wouldn't do anything but worry or something so I went for the walk instead! It was relaxing.
brucevangeorge Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 Why are you talking to her on the net? Go out and DO STUFF. ACTION STUFF. Go Rollerblading, Skiing, Jogging, play basketball... whatever. Chicks talk. Men do. You are just one of the girls she talks to. If you wanna get out of that. Now I'm not saying to formally ask her on a date... not yet. First you got to ask her as a friend and test the water, get her interested and when you know that she is.. YOU STRIKE. You ask her out and go from there.
Solachica Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 Try getting to know her better and get to be friends before you think further...
Author ILCS Posted May 26, 2006 Author Posted May 26, 2006 Well that was my plan but it's hard. To know her is to know her friends as well, as I mentioned in my original post. I know what kind of person she is, and I'm begining to learn things about her personal life, but it's much harder to get information on her social life. For example, today in class she mentioned to one of her friends something that made me believe they were going to a concert. I did not know of any concert, yet even some of her more distant friends, or friends of friends, knew what they were talking about. I guess that's what my goal is right now then. I just don't know how I'm going to go about that!
brucevangeorge Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 Well that was my plan but it's hard. To know her is to know her friends as well, as I mentioned in my original post. I know what kind of person she is, and I'm begining to learn things about her personal life, but it's much harder to get information on her social life. For example, today in class she mentioned to one of her friends something that made me believe they were going to a concert. I did not know of any concert, yet even some of her more distant friends, or friends of friends, knew what they were talking about. I guess that's what my goal is right now then. I just don't know how I'm going to go about that! Who cares about her social life? Her business is her own. You've got to bring her into yours. And if you don't have one, get one. Don't make it more complicated than it is. Use the direct approach.
Author ILCS Posted May 26, 2006 Author Posted May 26, 2006 alright, although I don't have much time left in this year, I think I will still be able to talk to her over the summer...it'll be much more difficult...however if I play it right, in the next few weeks before the end of school I should be able to do what I want to do successfully I just really have to think about conversation topics to start things off each time I want to talk to her over the summer I guess...so I'll start from there...she's not going to be in as many classes next year so maintaining contact over the summer is very important to me I think I'll be ok, thx for the (lack of? heh jk) advice
brucevangeorge Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 alright, although I don't have much time left in this year, I think I will still be able to talk to her over the summer...it'll be much more difficult...however if I play it right, in the next few weeks before the end of school I should be able to do what I want to do successfully I just really have to think about conversation topics to start things off each time I want to talk to her over the summer I guess...so I'll start from there...she's not going to be in as many classes next year so maintaining contact over the summer is very important to me I think I'll be ok, thx for the (lack of? heh jk) advice All you do is talk. Quit reasoning so much. Get rid of all those thoughts and just listen to your gut. Listen. It is never wrong. Go out and take action. All the talk and thinking in the world won't bring her to you. You have to go out and DO STUFF TOGETHER. That's the only way she will fall for you. You have to BE YOURSELF. And if you are being yourself and you still DON'T get her, one of two things could be the problem: 1. You suck. 2. Problem on her part. Most often its #1 that's going to screw you over. In which case, get in shape, make interesting friends, travel places... etc. Just build on yourself. Go and DO SOMETHING.
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