dontbfooled Posted May 24, 2006 Posted May 24, 2006 I have been reading posts for a while now, and decided to finally write something of my own. Many of your stories sound similar to mine, and I am sure we all have way too much in common when it comes to our relationships with these MM. I have been in a PA/EA for the past 3.5 years. Madly in love, great sex life, best friends, confide in eachother, blah blah blah... but it finally clicked... FINALLY. And for the first time EVER, I am doing something about it. I am 26, he is 38. Things to consider (as opposed to being blinded by love like I was!!!) #1 He cheats on his wife who he vowed to be faithful to in front of friends, family, and God. Not to mention, the woman who gave him his children! (3 in the case of my MM) Why in the world do you think you are so different? Do you really think that you are the one who can "change" him?!? #2 He lies to his W and he lies to you TOO. Don't be fooled and think that you are the one and only person that he is honest with. That is a crock of $hit and you know it!!! I think all MM that cheat need to be somewhat pathalogical liars. This does not stop when it comes to you! Wake up and stop being naive. #3 Why in the world would you even want him to leave his W to be with you? I would hate to be his W!!! He cheats on her and someday he will cheat on you too!!!! Please do not think that this pattern he has will end with you. Please do not be fooled that you are the one and only person for him, and you are the one he will never cheat on, and you are the one he will always be faithful to. WAKE UP!!!! #4 Do you really want to be with someone who is so disrespectful and LIES TO to the woman he married and who had his children? You don't even have kids with him!!!! You did not have a wedding and marry him! Why in the WORLD would you think you are more special than his W. Seriously... ladies, stop kidding yourselves. #5 Do you actually believe that he is not still sleeping with his wife? I can't believe I actually fell for that for over 3 years. Don't you think she wants to be intimate too? Don't you think that would raise a flag if he was not sleeping with her?!?! He's doing both of you. And God forbid she's doing the same thing, you may be sleeping with more people than you think. I know that you love him. I know that he is your everything. I know that you cannot imagine life without him. I know this because I felt the same exact way. (and to be honest, still do since this is the very beginning of me pulling away) Just don't be naive, and don't be fooled. He is getting the best of both worlds. He gets to have his W be the full-time babysitter and housewife and then goes out and wines and dines you, makes love to you, and has all the fun in the world. She is the stable, home person, mother of his children, takes care of that part of his life and you are the fun, younger, hot, best friend, love-of-his-life part of his life... Wouldn't it be great if you could be BOTH????? Well you can't with a MM!!!! They are not worth it, ladies. One way or another YOU will get hurt. And if I am not mistaken, you area already hurt. I know you think there is no one out there that is as "perfect" for you as he is, BUT YOU WILL NEVER KNOW UNLESS YOU LOOK!!!! I wasted 3.5 years in a dead-end relationship, pleasing someone who got to have EVERYTHING. I will never get those years back and neither will you if you keep wasting your time with an a**h*** who is living it up, having his cake and eating it too. Every night that he went home to his W and family, I went home ALONE. Anyone who cheats PERIOD is not boyfriend/husband material. Anyone who is a liar is not boyfriend/husband material. Go out and find yourself someone who will love you 100x more than this guy will, because he won't be going home to his W every night!!!!! Someday you will realize what I am trying to say. It may take 10 f your friends telling you over and over and over again... it may take yet another jealous rage or fight with him to make it click... it may take another Christmas or New Year's Eve that you spent WITHOUT him to make you realize it.. but whatever it is, YOU WILL SOMDAY GET IT. Don't Be Fooled. I am talking from experience, just like many other people on this forum. Make yourself #1 Priority, think about YOURSELF, think about what is best for YOUR mind, YOUR heart, YOUR soul in the long run. And someday... hopefully someday soon... even the thought of cheating MM will disgust you because you will be with a man who loves you and only you, 100%. You desearve more than a part-time lover, no matter how many "I love you's" and how many promises and vows of devotion he makes to you. He did the exact same thing years ago in front of everyone in a church when he said "I Do".
movinon05 Posted May 24, 2006 Posted May 24, 2006 I hope you are able to stay this strong and with this much conviction. Good luck.
RealityCheck Posted May 24, 2006 Posted May 24, 2006 DBF.... All of us OW never confessed to NOT seeing or being aware of the reality of the A situation in all the whys, hows and whens! The fact remains we are all in it, coming out of it, and some are even thinking of trying it! No matter what the cause, our emotions are real and living. That is why we are here! I don't believe we are being fooled, we just "feel". This Forum serves as support to all of us! I also wish you luck.
lovernotafighter Posted May 24, 2006 Posted May 24, 2006 yep we are all fully aware our MM's are having the best of both worlds..hell MM even stated to me once that is exactly what he was doing..he was honest to a fault..I can't even be that pissed off at him. at the beginning we both wanted our cake and eat it to..but things changed and we "supposedly " fell in love...ass backwards I might add. but we never quit sleeping with our spouses , we did however agree never to lie to one another and that is tricky as stated by you..we lied to our spouses we will lie to each other. I love my MM, but I'm not excepting scraps from him while my relationship with him ended my marriage..though my marriage was on it's way out the door anyway my MM still knows the hand he has had in it's dissolve and has done nothing but ask once to for me to stay married ..for his sake..now that is selfish. but nothing is to shocking (till lately with the wacked out responses tsk) as RC stated we are here because though we are not blind we still 'feel' and it sucks.
Sami_D Posted May 24, 2006 Posted May 24, 2006 Do you think this 'he's a cheat and a scumbag!' only applies to MM? I'm saying this because there are plenty of OW on this board who were or are also M and were having an affair. Are they scumbags who never wanted the Affair partner and would only cheat on every man they ever had a R with too? Are they 'worthless cheats' who know no other way of being? Or are they people who are cheating on their current partner for some reason? Oh, I know there are men (and women) who ARE worthless cheats who don't know any other way to behave. But you can't tar everyone with the same brush. JMHO.
whichwayisup Posted May 24, 2006 Posted May 24, 2006 I agree with Sami, this isn't just about MM, it's about the OW who are married as well or involved in another relationship while cheating. The MW's are JUST as selfish as the MM - Just read a recent thread by an OM and how he's being taken in by a MW. Everybody is responsible for their own actions and reactions. One can't blame the MM or MW for everything. It still comes down to CHOICE and freewill - There is NO gun pointing at anybody's head saying CHEAT!!
Sami_D Posted May 24, 2006 Posted May 24, 2006 I agree with Sami, this isn't just about MM, it's about the OW who are married as well or involved in another relationship while cheating. The MW's are JUST as selfish as the MM - Just read a recent thread by an OM and how he's being taken in by a MW. Everybody is responsible for their own actions and reactions. One can't blame the MM or MW for everything. It still comes down to CHOICE and freewill - There is NO gun pointing at anybody's head saying CHEAT!! Hmmm well actually that's not what I meant. I wasn't talking about anyone's selfishness or lack of it. I just meant to say that the OP wasn't adressing a lot of single OW with no experience of cheating themselves. There are 'MW' on this forum too... and they KNOW themselves they aren't 'cheaters who can't change their spots'. 'Once a cheater always a cheater' doesn't apply across the board, however true it may be in particular cases.
Luisa Posted May 24, 2006 Posted May 24, 2006 yes i know my mm is having his cake and eating too but im sure many women will agree when i say this we dont care because its so hard to let go its like a drug you feel like this is the one and so on so on atleast for me i dont want to let it go because lets say he does leave his wife you never know i dont wanna jump the gun....etc but im quite aware of everything you said but like i said its hard to let go!! wish i could be as strong as you!!
movinon05 Posted May 24, 2006 Posted May 24, 2006 See, my perspective is... if this is what it takes DBF to get out and stay out of the affair, to stay angry long enough to go through NC, then I say go for it. We don't all have to agree with the generalizations. My hope is when she's not angry, and gets an aftershock, she'll be able to look back at her post and it will keep her on track. (Sorry, DBF for talking about you like you're not here).
Blind Illusion Posted May 25, 2006 Posted May 25, 2006 #1 He cheats on his wife who he vowed to be faithful to in front of friends, family, and God. Not to mention, the woman who gave him his children! (3 in the case of my MM) Why in the world do you think you are so different? Do you really think that you are the one who can "change" him?!? No, if anything I have an insecurity complex and would never think that it was *I* who had that. Let me twost this around though and talk for me. I know I have been in relationships where I wouldn't even entertain the idea of cheating because of the respect I had . I also have been married and cheated. Do people have to do somethging across the board? I don't! #2 He lies to his W and he lies to you TOO. Don't be fooled and think that you are the one and only person that he is honest with. That is a crock of $hit and you know it!!! I think all MM that cheat need to be somewhat pathalogical liars. This does not stop when it comes to you! Wake up and stop being naive. Again, the key element being respect but there are people I cannot bring myself to tell fibs to at all. I am normally not one to defend the other sex but for myself, I can say that truth is something I know I "owe" certain people. There are others that I am not so truthful with. I don't think it's a thing if you lie once, you always lie to everyone. Much of what you say I do agree with but it's a little too sweeping for my way. Guess we're all different. It's just that I think each circumstance is just a little different than the next one.
whichwayisup Posted May 25, 2006 Posted May 25, 2006 Much of what you say I do agree with but it's a little too sweeping for my way. Guess we're all different. It's just that I think each circumstance is just a little different than the next one. Yes, but from what I've seen on LS in this section, the outcome is usually the same.....
Blind Illusion Posted May 25, 2006 Posted May 25, 2006 Yes, but from what I've seen on LS in this section, the outcome is usually the same..... I agree with that. Loads of reasons but some of them include outright lying and some involve just falling for the person more than intended. I guess I am in the latter group. It's not that I thought it was just this sex thing-it wasn't. There were never promises of us running into the sunset together. We both knew there were still times of sexual relations with our respective spouses so there werent any lies there either. Yet, somehow, the outcome still wasn't something I am happy with...that you are right. I guess my only point above was that I didn't get to this similar outcome due to disillusionment(other than that which resides in me) or blantant lies. (at least that I am aware of, anyhow) I don't really know how I got here sometimes.
CantCutitOff Posted May 25, 2006 Posted May 25, 2006 I don't really know how I got here sometimes. Umm... I think you've just narrated my life story of the past 6 months in one sentence. Bravo!
aktieb0cka Posted May 25, 2006 Posted May 25, 2006 Things to consider (as opposed to being blinded by love like I was!!!) #1 He cheats on his wife who he vowed to be faithful to in front of friends, family, and God. Not to mention, the woman who gave him his children! (3 in the case of my MM) Why in the world do you think you are so different? Do you really think that you are the one who can "change" him?!? #2 He lies to his W and he lies to you TOO. Don't be fooled and think that you are the one and only person that he is honest with. That is a crock of $hit and you know it!!! I think all MM that cheat need to be somewhat pathalogical liars. This does not stop when it comes to you! Wake up and stop being naive. #3 Why in the world would you even want him to leave his W to be with you? I would hate to be his W!!! He cheats on her and someday he will cheat on you too!!!! Please do not think that this pattern he has will end with you. Please do not be fooled that you are the one and only person for him, and you are the one he will never cheat on, and you are the one he will always be faithful to. WAKE UP!!!! #4 Do you really want to be with someone who is so disrespectful and LIES TO to the woman he married and who had his children? You don't even have kids with him!!!! You did not have a wedding and marry him! Why in the WORLD would you think you are more special than his W. Seriously... ladies, stop kidding yourselves. #5 Do you actually believe that he is not still sleeping with his wife? I can't believe I actually fell for that for over 3 years. Don't you think she wants to be intimate too? Don't you think that would raise a flag if he was not sleeping with her?!?! He's doing both of you. And God forbid she's doing the same thing, you may be sleeping with more people than you think. Thanks for posting this. These are very important to consider and remember!!
Sami_D Posted May 25, 2006 Posted May 25, 2006 yes i know my mm is having his cake and eating too but im sure many women will agree when i say this we dont care because its so hard to let go its like a drug you feel like this is the one and so on so on atleast for me i dont want to let it go because lets say he does leave his wife you never know i dont wanna jump the gun....etc Yeah, I used to think 'he'll leave eventually, so what is the point in my letting go of this now... it's only years when I would miss him... so why not stay with him till he leaves..'? But then eventually you just HAVE to grow some and decided ENOUGH is ENOUGH! (don't start singing...) Especially when you realise (because he told me!) that me hanging on was what was keeping him Married!!! Walk away! It can only do good.
Sami_D Posted May 25, 2006 Posted May 25, 2006 See, my perspective is... if this is what it takes DBF to get out and stay out of the affair, to stay angry long enough to go through NC, then I say go for it. We don't all have to agree with the generalizations. My hope is when she's not angry, and gets an aftershock, she'll be able to look back at her post and it will keep her on track. (Sorry, DBF for talking about you like you're not here). Well I agree... ANY kind of thinking that gets you into NC and staying there is good!! Doesn't mean that what she says is true of every MM or MW, however. But it might well be true of hers. The thing is, people can come on here making sweeping statements and they do no good, because they're false and people can see through them.
Sami_D Posted May 25, 2006 Posted May 25, 2006 I guess my only point above was that I didn't get to this similar outcome due to disillusionment(other than that which resides in me) or blantant lies. (at least that I am aware of, anyhow) I feel the same. WWIU is right in that the affairs almost always end in separation (of the MM and OW, that is!). But it's not 'the same' in other respects. I don't feel lied to, duped or disillusioned. Maybe I'm just a fool, but I feel glad that he was in my life, and happy that we met. I can't really regret the A, because it brought me (and him) so much happiness and pleasure. The OP is evidently still very bitter and hurt from her experience, but that doesn't mean that the rest of us have to feel the same way. Not every affair is the same.
movinon05 Posted May 25, 2006 Posted May 25, 2006 Well I agree... ANY kind of thinking that gets you into NC and staying there is good!! Doesn't mean that what she says is true of every MM or MW, however. But it might well be true of hers. The thing is, people can come on here making sweeping statements and they do no good, because they're false and people can see through them. You're right. Having been around the block, I know there's more to it than what DBF said. I just wasn't in the mood to argue. Its certainly not that black and white.
stillafool Posted May 25, 2006 Posted May 25, 2006 I have been reading posts for a while now, and decided to finally write something of my own. Many of your stories sound similar to mine, and I am sure we all have way too much in common when it comes to our relationships with these MM. #1 He cheats on his wife who he vowed to be faithful to in front of friends, family, and God. Not to mention, the woman who gave him his children! (3 in the case of my MM) Why in the world do you think you are so different? Do you really think that you are the one who can "change" him?!? This is so true. They married the woman they wanted and knew exactly what they were doing. I'm so sick of MM saying "my wife doesn't do.... and she's not...." It's a crock of %hit. This is the woman they wanted but they had no intentions of being true to her when they said "I do". They knew this was the person they wanted to take care of their home, children and be there everyday for them. #2 He lies to his W and he lies to you TOO. Don't be fooled and think that you are the one and only person that he is honest with. That is a crock of $hit and you know it!!! I think all MM that cheat need to be somewhat pathalogical liars. This does not stop when it comes to you! Wake up and stop being naive. You are so right about this also. If anything his W is the one he tells the most truth to because of all the things they have together. Probably the only lie he is telling her is about OW. I think they are most dishonest with the OW. I was floored when I found out how close my MM and his W were after being told by him they don't even talk. HA! what a liar. #3 Why in the world would you even want him to leave his W to be with you? I would hate to be his W!!! He cheats on her and someday he will cheat on you too!!!! Please do not think that this pattern he has will end with you. Please do not be fooled that you are the one and only person for him, and you are the one he will never cheat on, and you are the one he will always be faithful to. WAKE UP!!!! Correct again. My MM is 53 and has been pulling this stuff since he was 30 when they first got married. He has had one OW after another. (When one OW finds out his lies he moves on to another one but never, never would leave his wife and 3 kids). In the meantime, he has moved his W and kids to one big house after another. She has new cars to drive all the time and anything else she and the kids want. Also nice family vacations and also takes her away alone on special occasions. #4 Do you really want to be with someone who is so disrespectful and LIES TO to the woman he married and who had his children? You don't even have kids with him!!!! You did not have a wedding and marry him! Why in the WORLD would you think you are more special than his W. Seriously... ladies, stop kidding yourselves. #5 Do you actually believe that he is not still sleeping with his wife? I can't believe I actually fell for that for over 3 years. Don't you think she wants to be intimate too? Don't you think that would raise a flag if he was not sleeping with her?!?! He's doing both of you. And God forbid she's doing the same thing, you may be sleeping with more people than you think. I can't believe I fell for that one too. Trust me he is having great sex with his wife. As a matter of fact when he is with us the OW we tend to build their ego so that they think they are the greatest lover in the world and go home in a great mood and have the self-confidence (that the OW gave them mind you) to f-uk the $hit out of their wife. Meantime the W is thinking if he's doing me this way he couldn't possibly be fooling around and she's happy and satisfied plus she has all the benefits. Sometimes I think MM use OW to build their egos and make their marriages sweeter. Wake Up Ladies!!!! There are good-looking, successful men who are free out there. You don't have to play second. I know that you love him. I know that he is your everything. I know that you cannot imagine life without him. I know this because I felt the same exact way. (and to be honest, still do since this is the very beginning of me pulling away) Just don't be naive, and don't be fooled. He is getting the best of both worlds. He gets to have his W be the full-time babysitter and housewife and then goes out and wines and dines you, makes love to you, and has all the fun in the world. She is the stable, home person, mother of his children, takes care of that part of his life and you are the fun, younger, hot, best friend, love-of-his-life part of his life... Sometimes and most times the W if the best friend and love of his life part. They would never let us believe it. I also find they are having loads of fun with their W and kids. They just won't tell you that. These guys have it all. What do you have???????? Wouldn't it be great if you could be BOTH????? Well you can't with a MM!!!! They are not worth it, ladies. One way or another YOU will get hurt. And if I am not mistaken, you area already hurt. I know you think there is no one out there that is as "perfect" for you as he is, BUT YOU WILL NEVER KNOW UNLESS YOU LOOK!!!! I wasted 3.5 years in a dead-end relationship, pleasing someone who got to have EVERYTHING. I will never get those years back and neither will you if you keep wasting your time with an a**h*** who is living it up, having his cake and eating it too. Every night that he went home to his W and family, I went home ALONE. I also gave him 3 years of my youth waiting for him to chose me instead of her. He chose her and 23 yrs. later they are still together, successful, 3 kids and people tell me they are happy. He has prepared a wonderful future for them. All while having OW on the side. Ask yourself - what has he prepared for your future? Anyone who cheats PERIOD is not boyfriend/husband material. Anyone who is a liar is not boyfriend/husband material. Go out and find yourself someone who will love you 100x more than this guy will, because he won't be going home to his W every night!!!!! Amen to that ladies! We have to stop looking and falling for the "bad boy" types. Being on an ego trip ourselves that we are the ones who can "tame him". It's not going to happen! We have to give the nice guys a chance and we will be happy finally being number one and getting the respect we deserve. Someday you will realize what I am trying to say. It may take 10 f your friends telling you over and over and over again... it may take yet another jealous rage or fight with him to make it click... it may take another Christmas or New Year's Eve that you spent WITHOUT him to make you realize it.. but whatever it is, YOU WILL SOMDAY GET IT. Don't Be Fooled. I am talking from experience, just like many other people on this forum. Make yourself #1 Priority, think about YOURSELF, think about what is best for YOUR mind, YOUR heart, YOUR soul in the long run. And someday... hopefully someday soon... even the thought of cheating MM will disgust you because you will be with a man who loves you and only you, 100%. You desearve more than a part-time lover, no matter how many "I love you's" and how many promises and vows of devotion he makes to you. He did the exact same thing years ago in front of everyone in a church when he said "I Do". Amen Sister!!
RealityCheck Posted May 25, 2006 Posted May 25, 2006 Like I said! I don't believe we are being fooled, we are very much aware of the situation in all its form. Fooled.....NOT!! Feel.....DEFINATELY!
NoIDidn't Posted May 25, 2006 Posted May 25, 2006 I think that DBF is posting from a never been married single OW position. A MW as OW or divorced or widowed OW knows a lot more going in what may be going through the MM head.
Author dontbfooled Posted May 25, 2006 Author Posted May 25, 2006 ...in most cases, the OW will indeed end of getting hurt. That was the initial intent of my original post. The reason that I listed the points to remmeber was less for the "verteran-OW's", if you will, but rather for those who: #1 are thinking about being involved in an affair #2 for those who are involved and are "blinded by love" Believe me, I've been there. I recall a time in the first year of our A where we actual slow-danced together and discussed names for children that we were going to have one day. That made me SO happy! I felt that I had found the man of my dreams (hmmm, a man who lies and cheats, but nevertheless, as blind as I was, the man of my dreams) and I was going to share the rest of my life with him. Yeh, sure... little did I know that the truth would come out years later that after 3 kids he really did want to have any more. Isn't it interesting how someone can discuss kids names and give such a false sense of security when in reality they have absolutely NO INTENTION of doing so whatsoever? This is not only applicable to MM of course, but anyone really, men or women. BUT... given the title of the forum, I must say that MM are superb at doing this. I think the only way to finally let go, for me at least, is when you meet someone who will take their place. Many of you probably think that nobody will ever be as seet, perfect, handsome, successful, <insert_good_quality_here as your MM, but you will once you find the REAL man you are supposed to be with. The one that not only makes you feel special, but actually PROVES IT by being with YOU and ONLY YOU. I myself have not found this other person, and until recently I didn't think he was out there since I was so in love with my MM. BUT, at least now I know that is possible and I know better than to just wait around and waste more time with him. (I shouldn't say "waste" - some of my best memories EVER were with him, but in the grand scheme of things, it is a high price to pay) I still speak to and hang out with my MM, but I told him I wanted to just be friends. I am hoping this is possible. He told me that if this is how I want to have it, then he does not ever want to hear about me and anyone I may start to date. At the same time, he gets insanely jealous if someone looks at me while we are out, so honestly, i don't know how this "friend" thing is going to work out. I do want him in my life, but I also want to bein my own life WITH SOMEONE ELSE, who I can actually see myself marrying, who I can have children with, etc. etc. EVERYTHING that he has!!! He has "been there, done that". I have not, and I'm not getting any younger, so I want to make a conscious effort to start thinking about me and MY future... since he does the exact same tihng for himself. I think 'stillafool' made some excellent comments above (as did many others) My point is, let's defend the A a little less and become a little more realistic. I'm sure that the women who were once married and have been through this do have more of an insight (as I have never been married, no kids) but there are a lot of women out there who will just fall for anything that the MM tells them... and before you know it, 3 years have gone by and you are still hearing the same idle promises that you did in the beginning. I think as far as MM are concerned who have affairs, tommorow never comes.
Thankyou Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 All I can say is thank you. I felt Like I was desperate for that wake up call. After all this time thinking that this was the man, after the seperation of my 12 year realtionship with my boyfriend and everything I have been through. You, and only you alone have made me realize that this is time to face the truth. cheers matey bubble
NoIDidn't Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 DBF I am sorry if I offended you by noting that you sounded single. First, I would like to say that I am not an OW, so definitely not a "veteran". You make great points and if you noticed many of the other posters basically agreed with you. Lots of different kinds of ppl post on this board. BTW: you are right in the feeling that just being friends isn't going to work. the way I see it, who wants a friend who is not going to be happy for you when you do find that special someone - or even if its just dating. MM are selfish. Some grow out of it and some don't. But trying to remain friends with a guy that you just got out of an intense relationship with generally doesn't work whether he was married or not. I know about that for sure.
Author dontbfooled Posted May 27, 2006 Author Posted May 27, 2006 Well, that's just the thing. I want to start seeing someone else and see how he reacts to it. If he were my true friend, then he would support me and be happy for me. There is less than a 1% chance in my mind that he will do that, but we shall see. I have a date with this guy I am interested in next Friday... I don't know whether to tell him I am going ot just go and lie about it when he tries to reach me and I do not pick up. (He is VERY jealous and insecure) To be honest, I think that it's none of his damn business! But then again, if he said that to me I would be so hurt. We are not doing NC, nor do I want to do NC, by the way. I just want to see how things go with this new guy. He is my age, single, never been married, no kids, and totally great. This will be date #2 so, yes, I have already tried to move on a little bit. Baby steps for me. This is the FIRST guy I have actually been somewhat interested in since the A began3.5 years ago. I wonder why it is that we fell SO HARD for these men... I don't remember feeling this way about any other boyfrend in the past... It's just my MM who I became so involved with and so in love... it's like this spell they have over us which makes us adore them and keep wanting them. I think back to ex-boyfriends from college, the past, etc and nobody has had this effect on me. Is this why they are married? Someone else thought so too? But they are not husband-material... Is this our punishment for committing adultery? Gosh, I hate that word. My wish is to start dating this new guy that I think is great and have that be a wonderful, happy, and healthy relationship (because i know it would be) But what if I still think about my MM and wish I were with him instead...? Only time will tell I suppose. I want to say I wish I had never met him... but I just can't. I have had the most amazing times and the most amazing memories with him that I have ever had with anyone else in my life. I suppose they were all memories that should not have been made. Why is it that everything that is bad for us is always soooooooooo good? It's like that with EVERYTHING IN LIFE! So not fair. Grrrrr.
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