Author supersonic Posted May 29, 2006 Author Posted May 29, 2006 you're tough as well, it just took you a little while to leave him alone. i went through that phase. everytime we're in a group and i'm with my ex i have to act in certain way, in case the slightest thing pisses her off. barely spoken to her today though. i know those thoughts are a little strange, but i can't help it, getting a little personal now, but she was my 'first' if you see what i mean. i think if she did anything with another guy during these two weeks while i'm living with her, it would drive me to do something stupid. i know i should be going out partying and 'out on the pull' but if i did it would feel like i was cheating on her, just because thats the frame of mind i've become accustomed to. is it wrong to want both of us to not get physical with other people during these next 2 weeks at uni? we do live in the next room, i think it would be hell for us both if we heard the other one doing something. in the summer, i don't care what she does, she'll be 200 miles away and i won't have to cope with it.
Pantero Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 Supersonic: I'm amazed at your ability to stay cool through all this. I think considering how well or how self-disciplined you were by not going into some sort of psycho-mode after the initial break-up, it may have thrown your ex off. Considering the circumstances of seeing each other everyday - that, my friend, is T-O-U-G-H. NC it seemed, was not possible at all, therefore, you did the best you could. School's nearly done for you. I say for these last 2 weeks, do your best to start severing that tie you've got with her. She's confused, back and forth, and you don't need to drown in all that confusion. If I were you, I'd back off, not spend too much time in her room or with her (ESPECIALLY SPENDING THE NIGHT WITH HER), keep it civil, say goodbye, and go enjoy yourself during the summer. Forget about her twin, also. Judging from your posts, you seem to have zero problems meeting and chatting up women. Be yourself and do what you've been doing. Of course, progress and improve, but you're on the right track. Good luck, mang!
Author supersonic Posted May 29, 2006 Author Posted May 29, 2006 Pantero, thanks for the post bud, i honestly appreciate everybody's advice on here. everyone at uni knows my ex, and all my close friends from back home have met her on a few occasions. i like coming on here, because if i go to somebody here i won't like it if they bitch about her, no matter what she's done to me. on here me and my ex remain anonymous, i just explain the situation and people give their opinions, it's really helpful. i did sometimes go into 'psycho mode' after the initial break up. wouldn't leave her alone for about 3-4 days, kept crying, begging, pleading, and eventually forced myself to go back home for a week. during that time i left my mobile phone in the hands of my dad, so i wouldn't text her or ring her. this did me the world of good. anyone else who has just been dumped, get the heck out of there and give your phone away! after this it has generally been 'better', for want of a better word. something really strange just happened, the 'other girl' from the other night just knocked on my door a little drunk and wanted to hang out for a bit, so we did. my ex can hear everything on the other side of the wall. all we did was talk but i feel really bad, this is stupid, considering i'd hate it if a guy came over to her room at this hour. stupid!
JJRocks606 Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 Hi. It sounds like she's still in love with you and that she is confused about her feelings. give her some time and if it's meant to be, you guys will get back together. It's nice to see that there is still love out there. Hang in there... have faith in your love.
Author supersonic Posted May 30, 2006 Author Posted May 30, 2006 just to clear something up, sorry if my last post was a little confusing. what i meant was, i can't go to anyone at uni for advice, and i like talking to people on here, because we remain anonymous and its easier that way. thanks!
Author supersonic Posted May 30, 2006 Author Posted May 30, 2006 jjrocks thanks for your post, there is love still there but i don't know if she wants to follow it through or not, it's hard to read all these signals she's giving. i just read your thread, i guess your situation is a lot tougher than mine, i'm sorry there's not much i can say to help you, as i've never been married and i'm maybe a little too young to understand. all i can say is what you said to me, have faith....however, don't put your life on hold for too long.
waitingforlove Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 Hey supersonic, I wouldn't worry about how your ex feels about you talking or hanging out with the other girl. She's doing the same thing to you. Sometimes I worry about my ex's feeling ... what if he calls and I don't answer the phone -- that would hurt him, so then I think: oh no, I have to answer it. But in the end, it doesn't do me any good. He was the one who chose to leave me, and it hurt me too. Does he care about how I feel? No. At least not now. So why should we care too much about what our exes feel when they don't care at the moment how we feel? Just do what's good for yourself and don't worry about her feelings too much. I can see that you're a very considerate person, but sometimes, we need to protect ourselves too, and that's not selfish. We can't love another person until we have first loved ourselves, right? Hang in there!
Guest Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 I was broken up since march . She came back one day then said she was not ready yet to jump back into a relationship . I just keep nc for 3 weeks at a time , then send a simple email asking how she is . I keep it sweet and simple . MY HOPE IS THAT In time SHE will come back . I think you can do the same . It may work . Good luck
Author supersonic Posted May 31, 2006 Author Posted May 31, 2006 guest: thanks bud, i'll try that over the summer, she may come back, she may not. she's been real friendly today, it's one of her 'good days', we'll see how the next few days go before i decide whether to contact her in the summer or not. waitingforlove: how is your situation going?
waitingforlove Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Hi supersonic, Hang in there! I hope time will bring her back! As far as my situation is concerned, nothing really has changed. Thanks for asking, though. I'm still doing no contact. We've always been in contact about once a week for almost three months after we broke up, so it feels a little weird at this point (the eighth day since I last spoke to him). I start to wonder if he would contact me or wonder about me .... well, I try not to think too much. The last time I emailed him was last Tuesday, and he sent a very brief reply back on Thursday, then I didn't write back again. A part of me is really glad that I'm having more strength this time to stick with no contact, although another part of me is still having questions. I'm moving out in nine days, so he won't have my phone number then .... He doesn't know when exactly I leave, so in a way I'm almost hoping that he would call about ten days from now and realize that I'm no longer there .... hope to shock him that I didn't even "officially say goodbye" before moving to another city ... but maybe I'm just being silly. I don't know. Anyway, keep us posted on your situation updates!! Good luck!!
Author supersonic Posted June 1, 2006 Author Posted June 1, 2006 s*** s*** s***, had a really good night with her yesterday, and confronted her about 'us' today. didn't go down too well, she didn't get too upset, just indifferent, and said she doesn't want to talk about it right now. also said we shouldn't see each other over summer, but we might stay in touch via e-mail, text message etc. what am i to do?
waitingforlove Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 Hi supersonic, Don't get discouraged. She wasn't upset about your "confrontation," and didn't say you couldn't stay in touch anymore. So I think she just needs some time to clear her own head. Giving them time is the most difficult thing on earth to do, but .... I guess it's in a way also the "best" thing to do ..... Hang in there and wait for her to come around .... I know it's really difficult. I'm feeling the same way. NC is usually not so hard for the first week for me, but starting the second week, it feels like hell ..... I'm starting to have all sorts of doubts -- what if he actually feels relieved and really never contacts me again? What if he's glad that I'm gone whatever? What if by the time he comes around, I don't feel anything anymore? What if this, what if that .... but ultimately, I know that if my fears are real, that he's really gone for good, then it means that he really doesn't have any feelings for me anymore. That could also mean that he never actually loved me to begin with ..... so if that's the case, perhaps it's for the "better," though at this time I don't feel that way just yet. Time is the testing tool for a relationship at risk, I suppose .... so give her time. Maybe after the summer, she'll have more clear ideas about her feelings?
Author supersonic Posted June 2, 2006 Author Posted June 2, 2006 after summer she probably will have more clear ideas about her feelings, but i feel the same way you do about NC, when i don't see her over summer. the first week, maybe 2, won't be so bad, after that it'll be terrible. i'll think about her a lot over summer,and i'll be thinking the same things as you. they did love us, no doubt about that though. i'm sure he'll contact you though, just hang in there and be patient. in some respects your situation is a hell of a lot easier than mine, you have the opportunity to give him space. keep me updated! also, can 'riobikini' give me some tips if she reads this?
waitingforlove Posted June 4, 2006 Posted June 4, 2006 Hi supersonic, How are you doing? Nothing has changed in my situation, and I think it will be at least a few weeks before anything might happen .... but I just wanted to say hang in there!! Keep us all posted!
Author supersonic Posted June 4, 2006 Author Posted June 4, 2006 hey waitingforlove, things have been a bit weird, i went around to see her last night, we hung out and had a laugh for a couple of hours, then unfortunately we got into an 'us' conversation again, wasn't very good. today she said she only wants to talk to me in a group. one of our friends is leaving forever in a few days, we're supposed to be going to a restaurant that me and my ex went to for valentines day, they said it might be best if i didn't go, which naturally upset me. going home for summer either wednesday, thursday or friday, sort of looking forward to it, sort of not at the same time. going to really miss her. well done for being strong and sticking to NC, i hope i can do it, starting from the end of this week. just a quick question, would you like to stay in contact, not on here, but in e-mails? you seem to be the only one who seems really interested in my situation!
waitingforlove Posted June 6, 2006 Posted June 6, 2006 Hey supersonic, Sorry for replying so late. I just moved some stuff to the "new city" yesterday, and came back today. Anything new with your ex? Hope that after the summer, she'll have her head cleared. Are you going to the restaurant with your friends? I know, it's upsetting that they said that .... but maybe they just didn't want you to think of those memories and get upset .... Anyway, hang in there!! My ex sent me an email yesterday to see how I was doing, and just kept me updated with his news. I just got that email today, haven't written back yet. I don't know if I should .... Anyway, yes sure I'd like to stay in contact. Do you know the rules on here? Would they let us share email addresses, though? Hang in there and talk to you soon!
Author supersonic Posted June 7, 2006 Author Posted June 7, 2006 hey, just had a look at the terms and conditions, i can't send you my e-mail address, it says something about sending private messages but i don't think we've been memberslong enough to use them, which sucks! i guess we'll have to figure out another way... it's good that your ex e-mailed you. don't reply for 2-3 days though (unless you already have)! no not going to the restaurant, they have a good point, it probably would upset me, so i don't want to ruin anybody's night. going home for summer tomorrow though, which kicks ass! the last couple of days i've given her very limited contact, and she's been quite friendly, so maybe that's a good omen for summer. any ideas for keeping in touch?
waitingforlove Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Hi supersonic, I just checked today too, and found that if we would choose the "premium subscription" on this site (which we have to pay for), then we can send private messages. It's not too expensive (about US$2.50 a month), so I've paid for one month. I tried to send you a private messages but it came back saying that supersonic hasn't participated in the premium subscription option so I couldn't send him a private message yet. So in other words, if you wouldn't mind paying US$2.50, we can send private messages then. Please let me know what you think. Thanks. I still haven't written my ex back. Somehow I don't have the "excitement" anymore to write him back. In the past, if I got an email from him, I would write back the first second after finishing reading his email. But now .... I don't know. I'm glad to get an email from him, but I'm tired of writing back and then feeling like I "lost" him again. You know, I don't like that feeling of "being kept in the background." He's probably just checking to make sure I'm "still there," but he has no real intention of getting closer to me again. I'd rather imagine him waiting for my email than having myself wait for his email again ..... You know what I mean? I think a few days is not even a long enough period for him to wait .... I guess I'd either not write back at all this time, or if I do, I would wait till next week! So now that you're going home, you can finally do NC! Good luck! It's hard for awhile, but hopefully it really will "pay off" in the end. Keep me posted!
Author supersonic Posted June 8, 2006 Author Posted June 8, 2006 ok then,i'll sign up now! would be cool to keep in touch. that's a really good attitude you've got about the e-mail,well done, i hope i can get to that phase. was a bit emotional saying goodbye to her earlier, she just said 'why are you crying?' so i said 'i love you', kissed her on the cheek, said goodbye to my friends then left. but yeah, now NC can begin for real, awesome! i know it's gonna be hard, but it's for the best! i already miss her like crazy, but at least i'll be busy over summer, got a job starting monday, and i can see my friends. anyway,i'll sign up to that thing and send you a message!
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