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Not feeling like much of a team...


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Posted

My bf and his exw are trying to agree on back child support payments. they have agreed on a certain amount paid per week added on to his original amount. not a problem. my bf and i presented it to her and she accepted...surprise surprise. so i had a friend help write up a legal contract and now i would like her to sign it. i told my bf today that i did this and he said "ok". when he gives me a one word answer in the tone that he did it implies that he doesnt want to. so i am sure when we talk about it for real tonight he may shoot me down. i dont trust this woman because she lies. as some of you already know all the problems that have come up in the past for me while i have been with him.

 

I just want to explain to him how important i think it is to be able to support each other and act as a team. not one person making decisions and one person following along. how do i do this without him feeling like i am correcting him? i just am looking out for his wellbeing. i dont understand why he feels i am always lecturing him or pushing him. all i have to say is...i wrote up that contract. i would like you to read it and tell me what you think and if you would like to use it. we decided to write one up so its not like i am springing this on him. i sometimes think that his exw told him what to do. and maybe yelled at him a lot and thats why he gets like this. out of old habits of feeling like he doesnt have a say. everytime i ask him what he thinks about something he says its up to you. what ever you want to do. not sarcastic but seriously. maybe its me. maybe i am so used to having to fight for everything with my exh that i am not reading him correctly. i guess all i can do is talk to him about it? figure out if its me or him? i dont know.

Posted

It seems HE wants to handle the money and child support payments his way. Maybe he feels it's between him and his ex?

 

The contract maybe is too much for him to handle? Meaning, he would rather just see how it goes with her without any documents...And if that backfires, then do the contract and get her to sign it?

 

Did they have lawyers when they divorced? I'm surprised neither of them has involved their lawyer or got advice from them. Again, unless she's trying to be 'civil' and keep it out of the Lawyers hands.

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Posted

Well they didnt have lawyers. It was a do it yourself thing. they didnt have enough money so they decided to take that route. the problem is is that she isnt civil. she has tried countless times to break us up including coming to me and telling me they slept together this past january while my bf and i were together. i just dont trust her and if my money is going to her i want something signed. my kids are involved here too and i need to provide for them too. and i dont receive child support yet because the state hasnt found out where my exh works yet. see the problem is is that my bf is intimidated by her and afraid to speak his mind. he says he doesnt want the arguement and thats why he always just agrees with her. but i dont see it that way...and quite honestly no one does either. not his friends or family.

Posted

Uhmmmm, why are YOU paying for HIS child support money? Isn't HE supposed to pay her?

 

You should tell the state where you ex is so he CAN pay YOU childsupport.

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Posted

well...i guess its not that i am i suppose its that we are. our money is combined now. but because of this i have to get a second job because i can make more money at a second job. so...well i dont know any more. at what point do you say i love him but i just cant handle all the stress? I dont know if you have seen my other post from today about his ex calling at 3am...but between this and that....i am in love with him dearly but i have to look past so much and make huge sacrifices of myself. let alone have people in th way of us. im just so sad, happy and confused. the only way to explain this relationship is a messed up trip on LSD. not that i do drugs (just to clearify) but i feel like i am laughing and crying and i just dont even know why i am doing either at all.

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