Sand&Water Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 The title of this thread is a little odd. I know. But, what can I say - Couldn't come up with a more suitable title. In any case, the title altogether pretty much sums up what I'm about to discuss. For the last few weeks, my mind has been doing a tug-of-war in regards to a certain issue. My subconscious attention has been fighting whole-heartily with the real world - reality. It's tough to describe this sensation. However, its almost like my heart is saying one strong message while my mind is on the contrary saying a more 'instincts' message. The issue at hand: How do I know when it's time for me to start a relationship with a man? In this moment, now, my heart is yearning for a relationship some time soon. I feel that this is the right time for me to start a wonderful relationship with a man that I see fit for my likes. But... My dreams, say otherwise. For the last few weeks, I've had strong dreams which when decoded warn me to stay away from relationships. Every single dream that I've had points directly to one thing: To focus on my life. Not to get myself into a serious relationship. I've thought about taking the next 5-6 years, and working only on: My career, my well-being, health, family, friends, and education. I'm currently working on all of these aspects in my life. This is not the first time, that I've experienced a quarter-life crisis. My head has been hurting ever since I was a child. I'm scared to get hurt. What do I do? Which do I go with - my instincts, or my subconscious attention? Thank you in advance.
KittenMoon Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 I'm not sure if this really answers your question, but I have a situational analogy for you. On weekends when I hit the mall for a particular item (jeans, make-up, whatever) I almost always find that I cannot locate the item I want... but I'll always find something else on my list of needs that I couldn't find before. In short: I almost always find what I'm not looking for. If you are pursuing a relationship, I think it's easy to find something you try to force into being what you want... like that pair of jeans you like but never quite fit perfectly, they're a bit too long, or the waste is a little too small, etc.... I think you need to let things like relationships happen... not saying you can't be aware of the people around you, but I think if you are actively searching and making it the #1 priority in your head, you're setting yourself up for a bad fit.
Author Sand&Water Posted May 23, 2006 Author Posted May 23, 2006 I'm not sure if this really answers your question, but I have a situational analogy for you. On weekends when I hit the mall for a particular item (jeans, make-up, whatever) I almost always find that I cannot locate the item I want... but I'll always find something else on my list of needs that I couldn't find before. In short: I almost always find what I'm not looking for. If you are pursuing a relationship, I think it's easy to find something you try to force into being what you want... like that pair of jeans you like but never quite fit perfectly, they're a bit too long, or the waste is a little too small, etc.... I think you need to let things like relationships happen... not saying you can't be aware of the people around you, but I think if you are actively searching and making it the #1 priority in your head, you're setting yourself up for a bad fit. Thanks for your feedback, KittenMoon. Appreciate it. I completely understand. The analogy you described is true under specific circumstances or whatnot. I'm well aware of the "let it happen naturally" idea/concept. Actually, I exercise the feature in many romantic situations that arise in my life. However, assuming that a relationship may develop due to the "let it happen naturally" concept. Is it best to go for it, or to stay away? (Like I said in my OP) In other words... If everything seems to be going smoothly and all... How do I know if the next step is to start a relationship, or just walk away? It's too good to be true for me... this love thing.
KittenMoon Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 Thanks for your feedback, KittenMoon. Appreciate it. I completely understand. The analogy you described is true under specific circumstances or whatnot. I'm well aware of the "let it happen naturally" idea/concept. Actually, I exercise the feature in many romantic situations that arise in my life. However, assuming that a relationship may develop due to the "let it happen naturally" concept. Is it best to go for it, or to stay away? (Like I said in my OP) In other words... If everything seems to be going smoothly and all... How do I know if the next step is to start a relationship, or just walk away? It's too good to be true for me... this love thing. This I don't know. I have always felt that a real relationship just happens. It's not a question of whether it is or is not. But then again, I'm miserably single now after a 6 yr relationship that "just happened" and then "just ended" so maybe it's a stupid idea.
Author Sand&Water Posted May 23, 2006 Author Posted May 23, 2006 This I don't know. I have always felt that a real relationship just happens. It's not a question of whether it is or is not. But then again, I'm miserably single now after a 6 yr relationship that "just happened" and then "just ended" so maybe it's a stupid idea. I'm not sure, either. I hope others give some insight into this fuzzy topic. Thanks for your thoughts, KittenMoon. Any other thoughts/ideas/opinions would be enlightening.
norajane Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 I'm unclear on why you think it has to be an either/or thing - either relationship or your other priorities. Ideally, you share your life, dreams, goals, with the one you love and work together to meet them. Your life will never be 'perfect' so if you aren't open to relationships until you've met all your goals, you may be setting yourself up for a long wait.
Alexandra Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 But... My dreams, say otherwise. For the last few weeks, I've had strong dreams which when decoded warn me to stay away from relationships. Every single dream that I've had points directly to one thing: To focus on my life. Not to get myself into a serious relationship. Ummm I'm really curious. Who decyphers your dreams? And is it from the spiritual/dream interpretation stand point (i.e. water means loss) or a Psychological decoding?
Author Sand&Water Posted May 24, 2006 Author Posted May 24, 2006 Ummm I'm really curious. Who decyphers your dreams? And is it from the spiritual/dream interpretation stand point (i.e. water means loss) or a Psychological decoding? Well I basically just did a little research on the net. Found a few good sources, and read what they had to say. The last few dreams, all had the same common concepts/ideas and thus led to one major meaning (not to get myself caught up in a serious relationship). The meaning itself is exactly how it's described in almost all the articles.
Recommended Posts