leopardprint Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 ((I realize now I sort of titled this thread wrong... it's not about getting over someone but, oh well )) Ok, so I've been in a relationship for 2 years now with the man, I believe, to be the one I'll most likely settle down with in time. We plan on moving in with each other in the following year. I love him to death, and he is my best friend; he really is priority one in my life. 've been in two serious relationships before him (actually, way before him). I've since never really thought of them because I'm just so happy with my SO and my life and myself; and they haven't been in my life for years now. However, recently, I was doing a little running around on myspace, and I happened to stumble upon one of my ex's spaces. I was a bit surprised, probably because I had completely forgotten about him and the experience I had with him. It wasn't a spectular relationship, or a horrible one; I'd say, your average dated - became monogamous - slept with each other - and ended for whatever reasons (most likely just going in two separate directions); it sorta' ended on good terms, honestly. So I decided to take a peak out of pure curiousity. I see his Top 8, click his girlfriend, and on her site, she has pictures of them both together, topless, holding each. Now, I wasn't upset, or angry, or hurt. I was... weirded out to say the most. My stomach did a little 360 move, and I just felt... a kinda of out-of-body experience. Kinda like, "Been there, done that". I actually have almost those identical photos with him (only with me in them), put away in some box somewhere (and now that I think of it, with all the moving I've done, most likely thrown away). It was the strangest feeling. I wouldn't say there's any longing or attachment going on; I can honestly say I'm over him on any level of wanting, needed, longing, or any romantic interest, but it still left an odd feeling. Is this normal? When I'm 60, married, with children and grandchildren, and I bump into him while grocery shopping, will it be that same odd feeling or will I totally have forgotten it by then? Anyone older, more experienced in life and relationships, ever have this type of experience? Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 re: " When I'm 60, married, with children and grandchildren, and I bump into him while grocery shopping, will it be that same odd feeling or will I totally have forgotten it by then?" Hopefully, when you're sixty, you'll still have your memory, but you'll probably think about those pics every now and then. Look, alot of us (including me) have similar pics we've shared with an ex. Why we do it probably shows as much maturity as mooning from a back car seat, -but, nonetheless, we humans are sometimes, prone to some of the stupidest (in hindsight, -and pardon the pun) things ever thought of. We try to learn from our mistakes, change those we can, and live with the rest. Frankly, none of the pics I gave away were in bad taste, and I am not embarrassed about them, at all. Where they might turn up could be a wee bit of a problem, -but I'd have to suck it up and go on. If you got your pics back, -lucky girl! While I was with my ex, he once said, during casual conversation, he'd thought about submitting my boob pics to an internet site. I was twice as alarmed when I learned he'd truly considered it and wasn't kidding. Amusing thought> I still wonder what he's doing with those pics. (Smile). But, in time, those pics will grow old, lose their excitement for them (ex's), and be replaced with countless others until, one day, pics of a nude body in the age group you belong in won't be so attractive. Don't worry, by then their eyesight will have dwindled to something the clarity of cloudy water, and if they should stumble across your pics again at that age, they'll just do stuff to themselves which will continue to make them go totally blind. (Smile) *Don't worry, -only kidding- years down the road, most ex's can't remember what they, themselves, looked like ten years ago, -much less an old girlfriend. And seldom do they even care. Take care. -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
climbergirl Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 Yes ..........as long as you're not confusing nostalgia with 'not getting over them'. I have great memories about my ex-fiance, but in no way do I want to get back together. I miss what we had, but not necessarily because I had those experiences with him. Operative words....."I miss those experiences". And those can be had with others. 'What if's' are exhausting.......... Link to post Share on other sites
Author leopardprint Posted May 22, 2006 Author Share Posted May 22, 2006 If you got your pics back, -lucky girl! Whoa, I'm sorry - I think you misread - or I miswrote - what I said. It wasn't pictures of US on the website; but pictures of him and his NOW girlfriend, in pictures SIMILAR to ones we took when we were together years ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Sorry to be off topic guys, but I didn't want to post a top on ribo or whatever asking how she got to write so good? How did you? Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Brittanyjean, re " Sorry to be off topic guys, but I didn't want to post a top on ribo or whatever asking how she got to write so good? How did you?" Brit: You meant 'Rio', -right? (Smile). Most of the time, Brit, I write the way I talk (not always), but whatever I write is *exactly* what -and how- I think...... And I talk to a lot of people everyday. And, LP, I read into your post the thoughts I felt may have been in the back of your mind concerning previous pics your ex may have had (or taken) of you....I assumed (maybe in error) that those previous pics (or their wherabouts) may have been called up from your memory of past events with him....also, I *did* understand that the current pics on the 'net were of him and his new gf.....I can see how that would make you draw upon the memory....and wonder about it. I still think it's nothing to worry about. -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
Author leopardprint Posted May 24, 2006 Author Share Posted May 24, 2006 And, LP, I read into your post the thoughts I felt may have been in the back of your mind concerning previous pics your ex may have had (or taken) of you... I *did* understand that the current pics on the 'net were of him and his new gf... Alright, I gotcha. I guess we just confused one another. I can see where one would think that, but I'm the only one who has those pictures of my ex and I (I suppose I should have mentioned that - sorry!). Even with my SO now, I refuse to let him own any of the "naughty" pictures we have together - I guess that's kind of selfish, although, he says he doesn't mind at all, as long as I pull them out when we're together, but I don't want my naked image falling in the wrong hands in the future incase something doesn't go right. Until this boy has a ring on my finger and is living under the same roof - then he can share and take a look in the "forbidden" photo-album. :lmao: Yes ..........as long as you're not confusing nostalgia with 'not getting over them'. No, it's definitely nostalgia. I guess it's just confusing because I've ALWAYS related "nostalgia" with a postivie feeling. This wasn't so much. I felt more... weirded out - or even grossed out - but looking at them. Sort of like I was looking back at pictures of my ex and I, when I'm happily where I am now with my current SO. Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 re: " Even with my SO now, I refuse to let him own any of the "naughty" pictures we have together - I guess that's kind of selfish, although, he says he doesn't mind at all, as long as I pull them out when we're together, but I don't want my naked image falling in the wrong hands in the future incase something doesn't go right. Until this boy has a ring on my finger and is living under the same roof - then he can share and take a look in the "forbidden" photo-album." Smart girl; thinking girl. Smart, thinking girl who will have one less thing to worry about. (Smile) -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
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