sungrl Posted May 22, 2006 Posted May 22, 2006 OK everyone, i need your opinion on this situation: My b/f has gone away--fine--he has been calling making me secure and everything. We speak about 3 times a day even though he is away. This one thing happened that i got suspicious of and i'm not sure if this is something i really should question him on or let go. Here goes: My b/f does not get reception in his hotel room with the cell phone--He usually calls from his friends phone to say call the hotel room. At the bars when he is out--he always gets his calls and i see the text messages are sent and delivered right away. Last night he went out and i did too. I call him at 2am and we were talking for about 20 minutes and after the convo ended he said talk to you later. I text message him at 4:30 am--the text was sent but not delivered so i figured he was in his room and he was sleeping because the times that i did text him and he was in his hotel or really close to his room, it was never delivered. I wake up in the morning and see the text was delivered at 6:30 am--that is making me think he was at someone else's hotel last night or doing something wrong and then went back to his hotel or something and thats why he was able to receive the message because he was in an area with reception. Doesn't it sound a little suspicious? He always got the texts if he was at a bar because its an open type area--never any problems with reception except noisy people. Also, its not like at 6:30 am he is going to wake up and say i need some fresh air and walk 5 to minutes and then go back..in order to get reception on the phone, you need to walk about 5-10 minutes away from the hotel. i spoke to him today and he said they left the bar at 3am or so and he woke up at 9 am. But the times i text messaged him this week and if he was in the hotel--it was never delievered until after he left the hotel room and was out. Does this sound weird that it was delivered at 6:30? -i asked him--i thought you couldn't get any text messages or calls at the hotel--why did you get them at 6:30 am and never anytime before during the week(meaning maybe he wasn't where he says he was or he had someone there and walked them out or something--you get my point)I guess it is possible he left his phone in a different area of the room and 2 hours later it was delivered and he was doing exactly what he said he was doing which was sleeping. He also said he had one bar for signal strength and thats probably why he got it but he he got angry of course when i brought it up because he said i was accusing him. I know other people's posts are going to ask has he done anything to make me suspicious. I have caught him in about two lies but honestly i do not think it was because he was cheating--it was to avoid me getting angry or jealous and having an argument. This is just what i thought about the situation and i don't think it has to do with him-i'm just overly cautious i guess. It's funny because that covo at 2 am was us discussing how i have nothing to worry about and what everyone else is doing has nothing to do with him. ---Please write back on what you think of this and if i should let this go.
catgirl1927 Posted May 22, 2006 Posted May 22, 2006 Bless your heart. I think you're terribly worried about this trip and struggling SO hard to be ok with it. You're doing so great. Just because the cell phone said it was delivered doesn't mean that's really when it hit his phone. Also, I know that cell signals vary, you can not get a signal at all, get one for 3 minutes, it drops again. I think this is nothing for you to worry about. You are doing so great, he is working so hard to make you feel secure, don't blow it by freaking out. It's fine. He's not cheating. He's just off playing with his friends. He obviously cares SO MUCH about you because he's being so patient. Deep breaths. It's fine.
Skeered Posted May 22, 2006 Posted May 22, 2006 Bless your heart. I think you're terribly worried about this trip and struggling SO hard to be ok with it. You're doing so great. Just because the cell phone said it was delivered doesn't mean that's really when it hit his phone. Also, I know that cell signals vary, you can not get a signal at all, get one for 3 minutes, it drops again. I think this is nothing for you to worry about. You are doing so great, he is working so hard to make you feel secure, don't blow it by freaking out. It's fine. He's not cheating. He's just off playing with his friends. He obviously cares SO MUCH about you because he's being so patient. Deep breaths. It's fine. Read this post and then read it again..this is 100% what I was going to say...often we let our emotions and feelings get the better of us to assume the worst..don't do this because if your guy was screwing around he wouldn't be so open about you calling him whenever and all of that...no worries all is good...
Author sungrl Posted May 23, 2006 Author Posted May 23, 2006 hey, it was delivered at 6:30am--with his cell phone its always correct and he even said it was delivered at that time because i asked him and he said he does not know why and said i should know he was in his hotel sleeping. He said he got up at 9am and only saw the text at like 11 am because he didnt pay attention to his phone. He got angry with me for bringing it up and said he had one bar for signal strength and maybe thats why and he said he can't help me if i am going to question him about it. Sorry everyone, it felt really odd to me that he got it in his hotel at 6:30 while it never worked before but maybe i am just thinking the worst and paranoid. Feedback appreciated.
JadeStar Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 I think it can depend on the service as far as when something (text) etc can be received as well. Kind of like the computer and emails. I have known ppl to say they sent me an email at say, 10 am asked if I got it, I say no, finally I get it about 12 or 1 pm. I think it can depend on the service provider sometimes, but not sure. I really think its ok though. Just becasue it was sent out at a certain time, doesn't always mean it will get there at the same time it was sent. JMO. Jade
SoleMate Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 Welll...I don't know about your r/s issues. However, I do know that I have first hand experience with so much weird cell phone behavior that I would not bat an eyelash at the stuff you have described. I had someone tell me that they sent a message - actually a work-related peacemaking message. I had to look the guy in the eye and say, "I never got that." I have suspected he was not being accurate. Then, SIX DAYS after the voice mail was left by the caller, my phone beeps and here is the message! Fresh off the Verizon system! The funny thing is that the system acknowledged that it had been left six days ago. As far as reception goes, some places you always get good reception, some places you never do, and then there are all the other places...where sometimes it's great and sometimes the phone barely works at all. And you can only make short calls...or calls where one person can't hear a single shred of what the other person is saying. BOTTOM LINE: If it's JUST this and nothing more, I would blame the phone and cell system, NOT the bf.
Author sungrl Posted May 23, 2006 Author Posted May 23, 2006 Hi guys, Is it wrong that i thought this way? Would others had overlooked this completely or be suspicious like me? I really couldn't help feeling the way i did--it was 2 am and although we spoke for 20 minutes and said talk to you later, i thought he would have called again to say goodnight or something. We were both up and out so its no big deal. And after noticing he was in his hotel for hour and hours and only received my text after he left the hotel--i just couldn't help thinking the way i did.
Chump64 Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 I'm a little confused. I can't tell if your boyfriend is cheating on you, or if you are overly suspicious and insecure for some reason. What was the nature of the other lies he told? Are you a naturally jealous person?
PandorasBox Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 sungrl I have a feeling this will fall on def ears, but I remember reading some of you other posts about your b/f. There is no real trust there on your part, and though with your previous posts there is no indication he is cheating. I remember people telling you before there are certain things you need to let go/come to terms with and that you seem to be naturally insecure. I say the best thing to do is get some help for yourself on these insecurity issues. I'm not bashing you at all for you being insecure or having trust issues, there are people like that. I'm just saying it has to be a miserable way to live to always be insecure, paranoid, etc and always wondering what he is doing. I think until you get some help for these issues within yourself it will always be like this for you.
Author sungrl Posted May 23, 2006 Author Posted May 23, 2006 The other lies i have gotten over. But--the reason i caught him in those lies is simply because i didn't believe what he told me and was very careful. So now i am wondering what i should do with this--All week long if he was in the hotel--no text messages delivered so he couldn't see them..except for one time at 6:30 am he was able to receive them--it didn't add up to me. But he told me he sleeping and said i should have already known that. Should i bring it up to him and just say--i'm sorry but that night when i saw the text delivered i just really got a funny feeling like something was wrong. Maybe i should let it go. Cell phones are unpredictable and just maybe he had enough signal strength to get it but it didnt work all week long so in my head it just didnt make sense. In my heart-i dont want to believe he was with someone else and then left and got reception and was able to receive the message especially after a few days that week saying i have nothing to worry about and what other people doesn't reflect on him.
catgirl1927 Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 I really think you should let it go. You are looking for something to be upset about, and if you look you're always going to find something. It's so hard, but the bottom line is, he's going to do what he's going to do. I know you don't want to be made a fool of, oh MAN do I know how that feels. But how would you feel if someone were accusing you of something you weren't doing? It's a very off-putting feeling. Cell phones are unpredictable. He's calling you constantly. Having a signal in the hotel room would not prevent him from cheating if that was what he's going to do, but it sounds from everything you've said like he's not going to do that. You are making yourself crazy and hurting no one but yourself. And possibly your relationship with him. If he's a bad guy, end it. If he's a good guy, just relax. When is this trip over? I feel SO bad for you. This has to be SO hard.
Brittanyjean06 Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 Sun girl, your bf sounds alot like my ex boyfriend I coulden't get over how similar our stories are No I analyzed like crap with him, but sometimes your very wrong and just being paranoid!!
a4a Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 ok now stop with the cell thing. I just recieved a voice mail from my H...... however he actually left it yesterday. I called him from the land line to ask him what he needed....... he was confused of course...... my cell has been on me all day and during my road travels of 100 miles. So cells do screw up.
Author sungrl Posted May 24, 2006 Author Posted May 24, 2006 The way i thought about it was: he somehow got the text--so that meant he was at someone else's hotel and left and was able to get the message because he had reception or he was at his own hotel and in the morning walked her out or something and that is why he was able to get reception and the text message..But i guess this really sounds far-fetched when he was calling me all week and never said oh don't call me when i am out. He basically was open about me calling whenever i wanted even though i didnt much because i didnt want to check up on him. From what i have told you, it seems the majority is saying it doesn't look like cheated. Also, don't you think if this guy was a cheater-he probably would have done it here as well and possibly there would have been signs right? I dont think a cheater will choose one time to cheat with a one night stand and then refrain from doing it while at home.
Chump64 Posted May 24, 2006 Posted May 24, 2006 It sounds like you are trying to convince people here that he's not a cheater, but yet you sound so uncertain. I'm confused.
target-d Posted May 24, 2006 Posted May 24, 2006 Cell phones screw up more often than they don't. It sounds like you want to be convinced that he's not cheating, but at the same time are afraid to believe that he isn't. Nothing that any of us have said have helped you a bit, and you will continue to believe whatever you really truly want to believe, and it sounds like you are truly afraid to believe that he isn't cheating. Maybe you need to think about what's going on with you and what you really expect from this relationship.
Author sungrl Posted May 24, 2006 Author Posted May 24, 2006 Hi, i'm really not trying to convince myself of anything--just having different thoughts and trying to make sense of it. People's posts have helped but of course i am still going to feel the way i feel for a little while. I'm having a hard time because the last two lies i found out about was by being overly cautious and this many would say is being paranoid and overly cautious so i'm actually afraid of being right.
cutie22387 Posted May 24, 2006 Posted May 24, 2006 Everyone has been really nice with making you feel like it's nothing. I'm going to let you in on something, just because he let you call him whenever doesn't mean that he's not cheating. It happened to me! I call my (so-called) boyfriend all the time, all day, everyday... and yet he still managed to cheat on me. He didn't want me to be suspious, but when things in our relationship started to change, I was. I'm not trying to say your situation is the same as mine or that he is cheating; I'm just trying to say that if your gut instinct tell you something isn't right... it usually isn't. Just think... has there ever been a time where he didn't answer his phone, or when he said that he would call you back, but u didn't talk to him until the next day? Just keep in mind, things in the dark will come to the light. Don't break up with him over something like that, because there is a possibility that it was nothing at all. Just keep a watchful eye, that's all I'm saying.
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