Guest Posted May 22, 2006 Posted May 22, 2006 I guess I just want to hear from someone else what I already know. Basicaly, we broke up. He keeps sending me messages, gives me his attention when he judges he has 2 min to spare (if you ask me..) but as soon as I talk relationship, time spent alone.. silence.. and i mean, silence! It all began when he said he was in love with me, things went down hell... I think he freaked out. He started to ask me for a break, to things to slow down... Me? Mistakes after mistakes... getting him stuck in long conversations about us where he'd get frustrated. He loves me but he cant get into a relationship now. Work and family (his brother is a cancer survivor, cousin to babysit everyday... ). I dont know if that's a valid reason (dont jump at me! I know cancer is hard to deal with, it's been 6 months now... I am just trying to figure out if that's his good excuse to dump me) We hang out with the same group of friends.. I am trying to decide if it'd be best to just go away for a few months or stay in our group of friends and take the risk of seeing him so saturated with me around that he'll never get back to me. No need to add that I put myself through an emotional torture everyday by seeing him and allowing him to treat me like the second wheel.. The usual I guess, I dont sleep well, I am half depressed although I am usually a super positive person.. etc.. One will say he should leave our group of friends... Well, I can still make friends and i can still come back to our group in a couple months. I just want what we had back.. so not original Thanks for your advices. Be straight foward, I have enough of the silence Helene
waitingforlove Posted May 24, 2006 Posted May 24, 2006 Hi Helene, We are in the exact same boat. I've been trying to decide that myself. Many of my friends say I should stay away, and I thought so, except that when I do stay away, I miss him so much that it's killing me. Some people also advise that if we are able to at least be friends, then I shouldn't stay away, because if the friendship part doesn't exist anymore, then nothing is going to ever happen again. I agree that no contact has its advantages, but the question is whether or not you are ready for it psychologically -- the fact is, if he misses you, then when you stop contacting him, he might start calling you, and yet even then you don't know for sure if he wants to come back. He might be just missing you or wanting to keep you in his "safety net" in case he changes his mind. And if he doesn't even miss you, then there's a chance that when you don't contact him, you might risk not ever being able to maintain the friendship at all. So maybe you should think about what's best for YOU right now. Just think about yourself, don't make your decision based on what you think he would or would not do. Right now, I'm trying to tell myself that I don't need him, and I try to stay away as much as I can psychologically. When I really really really miss him, though, I would just follow my heart and give him a brief call or email. Just make sure you don't do it often, though, if you do contact him, coz that might end up annoying him. Good luck!
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