chica Posted May 22, 2006 Posted May 22, 2006 hey people, I returned from a holiday up north about 3 weeks ago. It had been 4 and a half years since I was last in the area, and while I was there I was reunited with T, the guy I had a romance with last time. I had been looking forward to seeing him and spending some time with him, but had no serious expectation that we would get together again. I didn't even know if he was single etc. We have sporadically written each other letters/postcards over the years, but have kept things fairly simple. Anyway, as it turned out, things carried on where they left off! We still felt a strong connection and had a great time together. He is intensely enigmatic, the strong and silent type, a man of few words (particularly emotional words). I enjoyed our time for what it was and came home after a couple of weeks. I also applied for a great job while I was there and I am now waiting to hear whether or not I make the shortlist. Once I got back, I started reflecting on it all, on how we relate to each other, the good times we have, the level we operate on and the fact that in all these years we have never had a conversation which places any emphasis on our emotions for each other.....essentially, our relationship has always remained completely undefined and we have gone with the flow and that has been ok. I realised after a few days that I was actually missing him. I originally attributed my feelings to being back at work, back to reality after such a great break. But it was more about him, and the way I feel when we are together. So the mental merry-go-round began: Do I feel more for him than I thought? How does he feel about me? Why can't I call him and tell him I miss him? I realised I had very little insight into how he felt for me. I know that he likes me, is attracted to me, accepts me as a person and treats me with care and respect. But he has never said anything that would make me think there were deeper feelings. I feel unable to call him and open up the emotional tin of worms. I have considered writing a regular letter to him and slipping in a few more emotionally honest lines than I have in the past. But I don't eant to upset the balance we have had in the past either. Maybe there is nothing serious at stake? I don't know! He asked me to let him know how I go with the job when I find out.... obviously me getting it would mean that there would be potential for us to get more serious if we wanted to. Any opinions on whether I should do anything would be appreciated. cheers Chica x
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