FireAtWill Posted May 21, 2006 Posted May 21, 2006 I'm in the middle of a sticky situation that I'm hoping to get some advice on. At this point I'm not even sure which forum I should be posting it in, so hopefully someone can help... I am a 30 year old with a 2 year old daughter to an ex-girlfriend. I don't go out of my way to talk to my ex, and we really only communicate when it pertains to our daughter. This situation is fine with me and has never been a problem. Over the course of the last several months, I have met the perfect person for me. I truly believe that without question. I love her and she loves me. When we are together, we are completely happy except for one problem that keeps rearing its ugly head. The perfect girl is my ex-girlfriend's cousin. We both knew that going in and it was not a problem at the time. It was even discussed with my ex, who said that she doesn't care and that it really isn't her business (my thoughts exactly). As things with my new girlfriend got more and more serious, it became more and more clear that my ex was going out of her way to cause problems between us. Suddenly my phone began ringing with calls from my ex for totally ridiculous things that normally would never have warranted a phone call. My dream girl tried to deal with it for a while, but eventually it proved to be too much for her and she decided to break up with me. Once I was left heartbroken and my ex found out we broke up, the phone calls and interference stopped (Imagine that). My ex insists that she was never trying to cause problems, but even her good friends don't believe that and have said that she never wanted to see us together. After several weeks of not really talking to my dream, we began talking again and decided that if nothing else we should be friends, like we were before we got together. But, within a couple of weeks, we were back in each others arms telling each other that we love each other and completely happy like we never missed a beat (You can probably guess what I'm going to type next). The phone calls and interference are starting all over again. I know it is weighing heavily on my love's mind, but I don't know what to do to stop it. I have tried to tell her that we can't let any BS from anybody ruin what we have, but I understand that it still bothers her. I have told her that she needs to confront her cousin and settle this once and for all, but she is hesitant to do that too... I would appreciate any advice anyone could give me. Obviously this isn't the complete story with all the details (as I'd imagine happens with a lot of posts on this forum). I'd love to start an open discussion with anyone that is willing, though. I refuse to give up on the woman of my dreams just because of a problem that is caused by a third party that shouldn't have any involvment in that aspect of my life.
tikigods Posted May 21, 2006 Posted May 21, 2006 You are never going to be able to get rid of your ex, and it sounds like she is to immature to allow you to move on. Saddly I think that this will just keep going on and on and on till you two break up again, since I don't see your ex rgowing up anytime soon (even if the cousin confronts her the ex is still a part of your life since you two have a daugher)
hyakku Posted May 21, 2006 Posted May 21, 2006 We all know the saying, "f*** her friends". But her cousin??? Joking man, really you need to handle her, if you wanna be with this girl tell her ass that its gonna stop and thats all there is to it. You aren't supposed to be asking your girl to confront her. Confront her yourself, tell her to stop calling you, you don't want her back, and you want your daughter to grow up without having any problems, so stay out of your relationships and only contact you when it pertains to your daughter. Use those balls you were born with.
Kulyok Posted May 22, 2006 Posted May 22, 2006 So, the situation is: You had a girlfriend. She had a child. Your daughter. Then, several months ago, when your daughter was only a year old, and your girlfriend didn't even recover, you started looking at her cousin? And then you broke with your girlfriend, leaving a small child in her hands, "not going out of your way" to see your own daughter. - You broke two lives in one go, and all you worry about is whether a fling with her cousin will work out? No wonder your ex-girlfriend is nervous and jealous. Take a break. Think of things. Be on your own. Pay some attention to your child, and try to spend these months without tears, jealousy and scandals. I am sure your current girlfriend is a mature woman who will wait a while.
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