Tru-Wild Posted May 21, 2006 Posted May 21, 2006 This all starts with a series of events many of us know too well. Guy and girl meet, have plenty in common, become close friends. But of course I've had feelings all along. We've been friends for about a year now, and I've gotten sick of all this BS of being too nervous to express my feelings, so I'm just going to ask her and what happens will happen. Thing is, I don't want to be too blunt and surprise her, or force an on-the-spot decision. Any advice on how to do this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! Tru-Wild (Note: I put this thread in the Dating section instead of Transitioning since it has to do with how to ask her, not the fact that we've been friends).
MadDog Posted May 21, 2006 Posted May 21, 2006 You're going to have to make some kind of move. Why don't you take her out to some romantic locations and go for a kiss? Actions speak louder than words my friend. If she's into you too, it'll all work out. Do you have any indications at all that she feels the same way? You should prepare yourself for the worst though which includes losing her friendship. If that happens, it'll suck a lot for a while but it'll beat the low-grade, chronic pain of not being with her I'm sure you're experiencing right now. Go for it dude.
Author Tru-Wild Posted May 21, 2006 Author Posted May 21, 2006 Hey, thanks for reading and replying Maddog. I agree that I just have to go for it, and am aware of the risks. What my problem is specifically is how to approach her with the suggestion of going somewhere. How to ask her so that there is no shock on her part, whether shes into me or not (we've been just friends for a while, a change is unexpected. Thanks again for taking the time to read and help. Any other comments would be appreciated!
MadDog Posted May 21, 2006 Posted May 21, 2006 Hey, thanks for reading and replying Maddog. I agree that I just have to go for it, and am aware of the risks. What my problem is specifically is how to approach her with the suggestion of going somewhere. How to ask her so that there is no shock on her part, whether shes into me or not (we've been just friends for a while, a change is unexpected. Thanks again for taking the time to read and help. Any other comments would be appreciated! That's my whole point. Don't worry about shocking her. Just go for a kiss. Yes, it'll shock her but if she's into you, it'll be in a good way. I don't think talking to her about it is the way to go. With a kiss, you'll know right away how she feels about you based on how she kisses back. If you talk to her, she can give you some female BS that will basically not answer anything. So bottom line, it's time to take action. "How do you feel about me" is not the correct approach here.
Author Tru-Wild Posted May 21, 2006 Author Posted May 21, 2006 I get what you mean, and thanks for your help. I'll take your advice to heart and try it out, though I've never been the best with the sudden moves. For me, the first kiss come after a few dates. Nevertheless, I'll give it a shot, thanks for the advice. Any other help is appreciated from anyone. Thanks a lot! Tru-Wild
Outcast Posted May 21, 2006 Posted May 21, 2006 Well, I'm the sort of person that doesn't want bridges burned. If you still want her in your life as a friend, then you don't want to send her running. I'm in favour of a less direct approach. When you've managed to dredge up enough courage to confront the situation, I'd suggest asking whether she ever thought about whether you two would make a good couple. Her reaction to your question will tell you whether to proceed or not without ending up in a very awkward situation. It's fine for someone to suggest you kiss her but imagine a worst case scenario where she'd recoil or dodge the kiss - it would be very unpleasant for both of you.
hyakku Posted May 21, 2006 Posted May 21, 2006 Not to rain on your parade but here's the thing. Things may not work out if you've been friends for so long that you may not get anywhere. Don't get mad at her, accept and move on. Anyway, just do it so you won't be wondering all this bulls*** and then move on with yourlife.
Author Tru-Wild Posted May 22, 2006 Author Posted May 22, 2006 Thanks Hyakku and Outcast for taking time to respond, I tend to air on Outcast's suggestion, but I bet thats just wishful thinking on my part, heh. Just one last thing; I was wondering (it may sound stupid) about where to confront her. Does the location really matter, and if so, where or when would be best? Thanks a lot everyone!
Recommended Posts