online friendship website???

[missyn]

Yesterday I found out that my bf of 3 yrs had actually registered himself to one of the popular friendship networking website. What's disturbing me is that he wrote his intention to meet other people (in this case women) for more than just friends i.e. dating/relationship.

 

Well, few months prior to his registration, he told me about this website and that 1 of his friends introduced this site to him (Note: this friend is now desparately seeking for someone to date. Thus seeking my bf's help and now is getting on my bf's nerves coz he seems to be taking a lot of his time) Anyway, I told him that i have heard of it and doesn't have any intention to register. But i didn't know he actually registered months later.

 

Also prior to his registration, we had a tough time together as he thinks he isn't good enough for me. But, we managed to work things out. He never has the intention of breaking up with me though giving the options if i found someone better than him....then the website registration...2 months later he went off for work assignment some where else. There was a short break from each other due to telco failure. When, he came back home, he was like sooo happy to see me again and told me that he couldnt imagine a longer period of lost contact. After that, our relationship get a lot better than the past few months.

 

Till yesterday...i got shock out of my life. Now, i really dont know what to do? should i ask him directly if he actually registered himself on that website? or should i just pretend that i have never come across his info/ad??

 

He has been loyal and honest to me all these years and would tell me if he is up to something.

 

Sigh...would love to hear all of your comments/opinions.

[MadDog]

It doesn't look too good at this point. Putting that he wants to meet people for dating is a pretty bad sign. I mean, on those type of websites, you can always put that you're in a relationship.

 

On top of that, he's got major issues (e.g. he doesn't feel good enough for you.) It might be time to jump ship before you sink with it.

[Guest]

Well, i really dont know should i jump out of the ship or not??? i do really love him and it is the hardest thing to do.

 

My mind is in a mess and i can't even think what to write now. All i can think of is to tell him what i have found out. I'm sure he will be mad at me for snooping around. But hey, with this online technology i dont suppose we dont check out our partners/friends (even if just for the fun of it). I'm sure he would tell me off if he found out too.

 

One thing for sure is that my guy is really a great guy. But i guess he hasn't got what he want (i.e. men wants to be successful in career) before settling down. Thus, that feeling of not-good-enough crops up.

 

Our communications have always been open, especially on his side (since he has been in a few relationships before this). I know sometimes i just keep quiet about some of my personal things that i feel that i can solve it myself, i wouldn't bother to tell him (unless i feel that he really needs to know). I dont want to be too depend on him on my emotional side (which he knows i am very emotional at times).

 

His honesty, openness, compassionate are some of the reason why i love about him. When we first started off, i could hardly trust anyone (even my own friends, i dont find them understand me really well). As time goes by, he proves me wrong. That's how i started to open myself up to him and to my own friends. I'm feeling more happier in my own place. I started to get along really well with my parents. It's like for all these times, love comes flowing into my life.

 

But now...i know my quietness coz him to feel insecure sometimes (he told me that i should communicate more and not just partial 50-50)...it happens to my co-workers whom gave the same feedback to me (though they didnt tell me they are pissed off with me, but i can sense it) i'm aware of this problem and im trying to change it.

 

hmm...now im arranging my words to talk to him tonite...just dont know if i could make it thru tonite

[missyn]

Well, i really don't know if i should jump off the ship??? I really do love him and it is always the hardest thing to do.

 

My mind is in a mess n i don't know what to write now.

 

All my gut instinct is telling me the whole day is to talk to him. I'm pretty sure he will be mad at me for snooping around. Well, i had no such intention is just that i accidentally look it up. i mean with the online technology, i'm sure some people would check up upon their partners/friends (for the fun of it sometimes).

 

My guy is really a great guy. When we started off, i never trusted anyone (not even my freinds coz i think that they don't understand me well). But as time goes by, he proves me otherwise. So, i started to open up myself to him and to my friends. I felt so much happier now in my own place. I have been able to get along with my parents now. In fact, the giving side of me started to come out. I feel love flowing into my life.

 

Our communication have been an open one, especially on his side. This is due to him having some past relationships. Perhaps i started off not opening up myself to him. He is a very straightfoward guy and would speak up his mind if things aren't going well. But me, i'm the otherwise (quiet and shy). I think i'm not assertive enough. He even told me about my style of communicating partially 50-50 (to tell half way or summarized interesting stories in just a minute).

 

I guess maybe this leads to him thinking i had something to hide from him. Apart from him, i had co-workers whom actually told me the same thing. I know some of them are really pissed off with me even if they don't tell. Yet i'm trying my best to change.

 

Sometimes, im thinking is there anything wrong with me? i feel like i'm still having my self-discovery years and finding my ways to cope being in a career, a gf & a daughter for now. Life at this stage can be tough for a young woman. And i really salute to all women whom have passed this stage gracefully.

 

I know that most people will have a backup plan should the current relationship fails. I was that person in the past until he came along and everything changed. I focused on the best bits of jokes, teases, news, issues for him. i know if i don't communicate to him and just talking about the weather, i guess this relationship would have been a big goner long time ago. My past was a great lesson i learned about myself.

 

hmm, im hoping to talk to him about this tonite. Time is ticking...but should i wait till the right time to talk to him face-to-face????????? i can't wait any longer.