flowerfairy142 Posted May 21, 2006 Posted May 21, 2006 Hi, any advice is so greatly appreciated. My boyfriend is a little upset at me and I wonder if I should take it seriously. I went to a friend's party tonight for a little while just to say hello until my boyfriend called me to come over and hang out at his house. When I picked up the phone and told him I was at the party, he sounded a little upset and said "Ok, go on, have fun...by the way I'm going partying with some friends to South Beach" and I told him "but I'm going over to your house in a little while" and he goes "nah, nah...stay over, have fun" It didn't sound like he was honestly saying to stay and have fun, but he sounded a little jealous that I went somewhere without him. I called his house and his mom told me that yes, he went to south beach with some friends. He usually doesn't go out with friends and neither do I because we spend a lot of time together and do everything together. But since he was taking long to call and didn't answer my call when I was trying to call him at lik 8pm I said "well, let me hang out at my friend's little party until he calls, i guess i'll go without him" and when I told him I was over there I think he got upset and now is giving me the silent treatment. I'm also very upset because I just found out my grandparents got in a car accident, even though they're ok, but i'm still very shaken up. I wish my boyfriend was here to calm me down...that's why I'm here cause i need to vent out. WE've been together 6 years and I'm patiently waiting for a marriage proposal...we talk about it all the time, but i think he's waiting until he graduates with his master's degree, which will be this december (i just graduated college). Help...should I be concerned about the way he's acting with me? Or should I shrug it off as unsecure jealousy on his part? By the way, I did come home from the party at like 11pm to try and see him but i was told he really did leave to south beach. *Sigh* my boyfriend is so wonderful but he can really get my on my nerves sometimes , like now. Any advice? Thanks!
MadDog Posted May 21, 2006 Posted May 21, 2006 Help...should I be concerned about the way he's acting with me? Or should I shrug it off as unsecure jealousy on his part? Insecure jealousy is, in fact, something you should be concerned about. He's doing the whole passive/aggressive thing where instead of telling you he's bothered by something, he's pretending like everything's cool while doing something to punish you. That's definately not cool. I was surprised to learn that you are both basically college graduates because this sounds more like a high school relationship somewhat. He sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. Getting engaged now might not be the best thing until you two work out these issues.
Tim'sAngel Posted May 21, 2006 Posted May 21, 2006 Your bf sounds a bit immature. It is not healthy to only do things together, you both need your separate friends. (I'm speaking from experience) Does he expect you to just sit around and do nothing waiting for his phone call? I don't go to "parties" but if and when I go out w/out him I do let him know where I am, but I don't need his permission. Sounds like the 2 of you should talk this out and see where you stand w/each other on the issue of doing things on your own outside the relationship. JMO
Author flowerfairy142 Posted May 21, 2006 Author Posted May 21, 2006 Yes that is usually what i do...sit around and wait for him to call. He's been starting a new business and is doing a lot of work that revolves around it, but i HATE it when he doesn't answer my calls and well, it seems that apparently i can't go out to a friend's house-warming party because he acts like this. It really hurts me...i've NEVER cheated on him and never plan to. He got really upset a few months ago though, when he was out of town with his family and I went clubbing with his SISTER...he didn't talk to me for a week, saying i cheated on him. I suffered a lot because of that, thinking the relationship was over (and he even mentioned he was looking at engagement rings on the trip). We get along perfectly and well, we're not the kind to go out and do things alone with our friends (we kinda lost touch with many after we started going out although I made a lot of great acquaintances in college) but we still see each other every day and do everything together. I love it this way, but i think that maybe since he isn't used to me going out to a party without him maybe he's afraid i'll start doing less things with him? I know, he IS a bit immature, and he usually doesn't like to talk about serious things...what do i do when he doesn't want to talk or listen to me? The few arguments we've had we never really talk it much...i just let him cool off and forget about it. I know its wrong on my part because I HATE confrontation. Any other advice? He's the only boyfriend I've had so I don't have experience with men. And the reactions I take are usually without thinking and usually very emotional. Help!
MadDog Posted May 21, 2006 Posted May 21, 2006 He got really upset a few months ago though, when he was out of town with his family and I went clubbing with his SISTER...he didn't talk to me for a week, saying i cheated on him. I suffered a lot because of that, thinking the relationship was over (and he even mentioned he was looking at engagement rings on the trip). That's ridiculous. He didn't talk to you for a week because you went clubbing with his sister? First of all, I'm sure if you were to behave inappropriately, the last person you'd do it in front of would be his sister (since she'd just report right back to him.) Second, if you wanted to go clubbing with just your friends as a girl's night out thing, that'd be fine too. For him to not talk to you for a week is absolutely insane. He's definately the controlling/manipulative type. Sorry but your boyfriend blows. I'd suggest dumping him and finding a new one or just being single. Is he your first relationship or something? Wow MadDog' date=' did we actually agree on something [/quote'] I guess you developed some common sense recently.
Recommended Posts