GoingDownSwinging Posted May 21, 2006 Posted May 21, 2006 I am a regular on the break-up and coping boards because I just got out of a serious relationship but have found myself in a sad situation and need a way out.... I am best friends with a couple who have been dating for nearly 5 years. I met the girl first and began to hang out with her and then met her boyfriend a short while after meeting her. We have all 3 grown very close to each other. They were just recently engaged and she has asked me to be in the wedding. This past week, she left town to go back to her hometown to do some wedding planning. Since I stayed in town, the guy and I had made plans to hang out (of course I discussed this with the girl and she said it was absolutely ok). This past tuesday, he called to see what I was going to be doing that night and I invited him to go out with me and some of my girlfriends. By the end of that phone conversation, he had admitted to me that he had developed feelings for me. I brushed it off and chalked it up to him just being lonely (and maybe having an innocent crush). Last night, he ended up at the same bar that I was at. To make a long story short, we ended up having a very in depth discussion about his feelings for me and he admitted that he is "infatuated" with me and a physical and emotional level. I am a wreck right now. I haven't done anything to warrant these feelings from him, except be myself. I have never given the vibe that I was interested in him, and until this past week we have never even hung out without his fiance, but I still feel like the bad guy. I am beggining to think the only solution is for me to completely distance myself from them because I don't want their relationship to end. Sorry if it seems like I babbling...I'm just super confused...please help.
movinon05 Posted May 21, 2006 Posted May 21, 2006 You haven't done anything wrong. You're not interested in him and you don't have to feel guilty. The best thing is to explain that to him as best you can. And tell him you would never hurt your friend and get involved. If you don't let him think that he has an avenue open to him, then he will have to accept that and hopefully put more of his energy into his fiance. Just remember you can't control anyone other than yourself. Once you do what needs to be done, you go on from there. And hope it works out for them. Just make it crystal clear.
scarletletter Posted May 21, 2006 Posted May 21, 2006 Lots of marrital nerves can cause men to do crazy things. If it were me, I would probably igonore the whole thing and hope that they have a happy life together. This close to the marriage date is not a time to be making asumptions...its all about nerves...very normal.
Recommended Posts