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venting again, bare with me I gotta write it lol


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Posted

I never thought I could actually feel like how I felt the time we broke up and he found another girlfriend.

 

But I can, It all hit me today, and its all from those private calls and hang ups that have been misleading me, I am pmsing and when i was at work today I really just let out all the tears, I think I have been holding them in for so long becaus I was afraid to let my self feel the damage that was been done to me, the hurt.

 

I am defiently changing my cell phone number because I shouldent have to deal with those calls and getting false hope. It's been 9 months and I feel so stupid when I talk to people about it sometimes because their like" YOUR STILL not over him". I'm like god if you only new..

 

Now I guess I am just at a hard point in my life right now, but the more I think about what happend I get all chocked up inside. I want the pain and misery all to end, It's so hard to have someone in your life and than them begone for ever and never talk to you again, but I guess I'm learning. I am young and its my first time ...I am just surprised with my self that I actually cried, but I have held it in and thats not healthy at all.

 

My mom deosn't think its him calling, I meen why would it be him after so long? I know you never know what can happen in life, and of course I have hope( hidden hope) but man am I really not doing good with the whole moving on part? This is normal isn't it? It has to be

Posted

BJ-

 

He's NOT calling. He's NOT. Somwhere, someone's got a bum number, hell maybe its even an automated dialer or something, but it's not him. You're looking for solid hope and finding it anywhere you can. You can have hope, but you need to stop looking for it.

Posted

I know thats what I need to hear, is stuff like that

 

thanks you!

Posted

were actually going to trace the calls, because they don't stop

Posted

Well let us know what they actually were, cause you got me curious!

Posted

If I do find out, I will let everyone know the real reason behind the calls

 

instead of changing my number my dad wants to get them in trouble first!

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