Shon green Posted May 20, 2006 Posted May 20, 2006 I feel like the most insane, not smart, and crazyiest person in the world. I am in a situation that for some reason i can't see the way out. I had a great and beautifull girl. In fact i left school for this girl thinking my life would be great. Everything did go great in fact for about 5 months.Never left each others side.But after the 5 months we then constantly started arguing over nothing. The relationship just went way down hill. But we both knew we loved each other. It even started getting to the point to where we kept breaking up and getting back together. Then i started seeing things i didn't like such as she lied and kinda was a gold digger, and did't care about me emotionaly.Because she said i was a guy so i don't need emotional support. Then one day we got in another fight but this time she started kicking and screaming. She threw things at me some hit me and shatter my bedroom window. I in defensive grabbed her and told her to leave she did. The next morning i got a hard knock on the door and it was the police. She had told them that i abused her so i went to jail for two weeks. After bonding out my parents were livid i had never been to jail before. Now i have all these lawyer and state fees i have to pay to get out of the situaion. About two weeks later i found myself wanting her again for some reason. And yes even with a restraing order i still called her. We then got back together. Thinking i was going to be happy again with her. But yet again still saw the same traits in her i didn't want. When we would drive in the car it be silence. But yet when we got home and lust became involved we felt like we were on top of the world. I guess my main problem im having and hoping to get help on , I know i don't wanna marry her but yet i can't let go. My parents and friends are all telling me she's crazy stay away. But yet i can't stop thinking about her knowing it would never work. I miss having her in my arms i miss our sexual life. And many times i find myself feeling as if i will never find someone. Also i still get very jealous thinking of her and another man it kills me. I know your prob thinking im crazy because anyone with a right mind would flee from her. But i can't for some reason i feel alone and get very lonely at home. How do i do this....Why do i still want her with everything she's put me through.
Author Shon green Posted May 22, 2006 Author Posted May 22, 2006 Life leads us on many diff journeys. Right now you need to move on and know that it was a based on lust. And never really was based on true love. Go out and keep your mind occupied with things that make you happy
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