Eloping

[in luv]

I know what the cons are for eloping as a teenager. But are there any pro's .

I am 20 years old and my gf is 17 ( she is turning 18 in November this year ).

I love her with my soul. I know she is " the one " . we spoke about eloping and she has agreed but her mom wants a traditional marriage in the church she got married. ( i forgot to say, she divorced 17 years earlier, must be an unlucky church ).

I want to spend my life with this girl. but im wandering about the eloping part. is there any advice for me.

Thank you

[slinkysu]

DON'T DO IT!

 

17 is far too young and both of you will grow and change in ways you won't expect over the next 5 years. Loving her is fine - why marry her when she is still in school? Let her enjoy being a teenager - wait until she's at least 21 so she can have a glass of champagne at her wedding and you are both adults.

 

It sounds like you are smitten right now but what about college? Jobs? Careers? Travel? have you discussed your goals for the future? what are your 5 year plans? If you don't have any - don't get married! you have so much future ahead of you - live a little with each other first before matrimony.

 

And don't elope - marriage is about two families coming together as much as it is about 2 people - don't take away this opportunity of celebration from your family.

[tikigods]

My advice is to not do it. Do you guys have any sort of plan in place for after you are married? CAn you both support the other one if need be? Do you have a place to live? Jobs?

 

You are both going to be changing and growing a lot over the next few years, if you truly love eachother then wait till she can at least DRINK at her own wedding, love can wait. There is a reason why the statistics are against people who get married young, even more so aginst teens that marry. Now when you guys are older and want to elope then go for it, but right now I think you are both setting yourselves up for a lot of hurt

[quankanne]

advice? Yes, wait. Wait until you've got college behind you (if that's your goal), wait until you've experienced life a little and have done things for yourself that aren't going to be easily done because you've got a family to support/think about. So many people jump into marriage because they're "in love," expecting it to mature and grow when they haven't had the chance to do so as individuals.

 

if you two truly love each other, waiting five or six years isn't going to kill that love and you'll be much better prepared to unite two lives into one lifestyle.

 

as for eloping as a method of marriage, well, if this is what you're comfortable with when the time comes, go for it. I don't regret not having the hoopla surrounding a wedding because I hate being in the spotlight, though I do hate not having my marriage blessed by the church. People get upset over the thought of elopement, but my opinion is that it's not about the wedding, but the marriage itself. Which should take place when two people have matured to the point where they're ready to undertake the endeavor, and not a minute before.

[Starving 4 Love]

I would agree with the others on this in regards to the marriage part. If you were to get married, it is possible you really dont know who you are marrying. The reason I say this, is that the person is not nearly matured enough for marrage. Here is some expirences, I have known a couple of people who were married that early (includding family) and it never works out. They are not ready for the resposiblity of it all and it ended in devorce. Very unfortunate.

 

In regards to loving her with your soul, I feel for you. I love my wife with my heart and soul and would feel like I would die if I did not have her. My fears as they were when I was younger was that if we grew together in age that eventually we would split as we found ourselves. Its possible the other was not part of the bigger picture. This is natural in that we grow and add some people to our lives and leave others behind. The way of life.

[Starving 4 Love]

Double post!