Guest Posted May 20, 2006 Posted May 20, 2006 I've been dating my boyfriend for over five years (has it really been that long?). We met as freshmen in college. About two years ago, I graduated, got a job, quit a job, found a better job, and got promoted. My boyfriend was kicked out because of low grades, took city college classes for a bit, got back in, hung on by the skin on his teeth, and got kicked out again permanently. He's now at a city college and hoping to transfer to a state university. If he succeeds at these plans, he estimates he'll graduate 2007 or 2008. Add to that, he THINKS he wants to be a teacher, so tack on another year for a teaching credential. I'm worried, though, because I get the feeling he's not doing very well, even at city college. I know he's going to have to retake one of his classes. We talk about this every six months or so, and it seems every six months or so, his graduation date gets pushed back. It wouldn't bother me so much if he wasn't so wishy washy on what he wants. The thing is, we get along great, we have an awesome physical relationship, and we've agreed or compromised on major issues. He's the nicest guy you'll ever meet. His friends and my friends adore him. He's just not the most reliable, and his work ethic bothers me. He's supposed to meet with a counselor and find out next thursday when he'll be graduating. We've been through this a couple times before, and both times he somehow was not able to make his appointment or just never made one. How long is too long to wait? He says we can get married before he graduates, but I wouldn't want to marry someone who's still getting his undergraduate degree. I've been very patient through this, supporting him, cooking for him when he had finals or lots of homework, giving him massages, listening to his complaints...all while doing my own work (I do some part-time work on the side). I told him I wouldn't stay with him if he was kicked out but I did. We took a break for a couple weeks two months ago. We reconciled, and I thought I could wait, but since then his estimated graduation date has been pushed from summer 2007 to winter 2007 or possibly summer 2008. We've been talking about moving in together this fall, when his parents cut his funding, but I'm hesitant and he has problems with my cats. I love him so much and he's my best friend (I was an emotional wreck during our two-week break), but it's so hard to watch him fail and then live through his subsequent depression. He's so smart, and goes through these "doing well" spurts before he lapses again. I feel like he is getting better, but it's at a glacial pace. I just want him to be happy, but he's not. It doesn't help that I'm becoming friends with this guy at work who reminds me of my boyfriend in some ways, but has his life together. I'd never betray a friend's trust or do something stupid (grass is always greener, right?), but whenever we chat or hang out I get these awful, gnawing doubts about my relationship. This is my first boyfriend. Thanks for letting me rant. Even if you dont' read this whole thing, I feel a little better having said it. Thanks again.
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