The seemingly inevitable "friendship" question...

[javler5]

In October of last year, I was out with my friends at a local bar. Towards the middle of the night, a young man came up to talk to one of my friends. We were introduced and had a wonderful time chatting. I decided to go home with him (something I rarely do) and we had what appeared to be a one night stand. Out of this one night stand began, believe it or not, a great relationship. Things went by so quickly, and before I knew it we were living together. We rarely had any arguments and thoroughly enjoyed each other's company. During this time, however, I was going through a very rough patch, dealing with poor performance in school and a moderate case of depression. These put a strain on our relationship and led to our eventual break-up. For about a month after, our interaction remained amicable, and I had high hopes for reconciliation.

 

Things were going pretty well between us until we bumped into each other on a night out. At first, I was pleasant and warm, but as the drinks began to flow I became an emotional mess. I started to detail my constant thoughts of him, my regret and heartache. He was having none of it and left. We did not speak for two weeks. I telephoned him to tell him I had decided that being friends was not a good idea because I still had strong feelings for him and that I needed time to heal. I would contact him when I was ready.

 

About a month and a half later, he IMed me. I had been feeling perfectly until then, rarely thinking about him. We have had several casual conversations on-line and some on the phone. It has been very nice to know that he doesn't have any resentful feelings towards me. The downside is that I feel that I am slowly regressing to the distraught state I had been in. What complicates this is that my best friend/roommate and he are good friends. It is not my place to keep them from having fun or going out together (there is no romantic interest from either party), but I can't help but feel a sting of jealousy knowing that they are carrying on so fine without me (I am visiting my parents for a month).

 

Should I continue interacting with my ex? I definitely want to become friends and we are on the right track (he invited me to a concert), but my thoughts of and feelings for him are in a constant shift. Our outlook as friends is a great, and I have stopped wanting a relationship with him.