Guest Posted May 19, 2006 Posted May 19, 2006 My girlfriend and I have been planning on getting engaged. However, there is one major problem... She is older than me. about 10 years to be exact. I'm in my mid twenties, she is in her mid 30's. On our or third or forth date, I brought her to meet my mother. My mother didn't even turn around. She stood there with her back turned and then just walked away. Every time I talk about a wonderful date I've had with my girlfriend, she just changes the subject. She never asks about her like she has when I was dating other girls. It's been a year and they've never met officially. It all boils down to her age. My mother has a problem with me being with an older woman. She's openly admitted it is ok for the man to be that much older, yet the woman can't. However, she has no explaination why. In some ways I think my mother thinks that my gf has somehow seduced me, not realizing I'm not "her little boy" anymore. Now that we are talking about getting married, I don't know how to break the news to my mother. I'm afraid she will flip out and end up really hurting my feelings. My father is "uncomfortable" with us dating, but is a little more open minded about it. He did meet her and I could tell he was uncomfortable, but at least put in the effort. I'm sure he may say something like...."are you sure this is what you want?" But that is fine. It will just break my heart if my mother says she doesn't approve. My question is this. How do I tell my mother in a way that will not upset her and ruin my engagment? This should be an exciting and fun time and I want her to share that with us.
Tim'sAngel Posted May 19, 2006 Posted May 19, 2006 I feel ya. My mother isn't crazy about me marrying my SO because of religious differences. At first, I couldnt even talk about him to her bcause i hated that she wasn't really all that excited for me. This is the way I see it. It's your life. ONly you know what makes you happy. You are an adult which means you make your own decisions. If your mother had a plausible reason for not aproving of her (ex, she was a gold digger, she is still married to someone else..) then maybe you should listen to her, but if it is only because of the age difference, then you should do what you think is right for you. I don't know if there is any other way to tell your mother your getting engaged, other then "mom, we're getting engaged" Maybe you should just sit her down and tell her you love her but you need to do whats right for you. Break it to her gently and tell her there has been talk of marriage... Good luck!!
Recommended Posts