Huge crush on my classmate, how do i deal with it and move on?

[TrigunKenshin]

Hi, I'm a 22 year old guy, I recently graduated from college. Throughout my college career (4 years of them) my classmates and I pretty much took the same classes because we were all social work majors. There's 30 of us in the class. Anyways, ever since I began college at 18, I developed a crush on this one girl in my class. we are pretty much the same age. 4 years later, at age 22, I haven't asked that girl out. I did talk to her, but I was always shy. I kept the relationship simply as classmates. I overheard she had a b/f, and when i found out about that, I didn't have a crush on her anymore.

 

But they broke up, and For 2 years she's been single. WHen i found out she was single after talkign with her, i was like, oh hell no, the CRUSH creeped back up and I developed another crush on her and this time it was bigger than before. but i didn't make my move and ask her out. We have a lot of similarities when I talked to her, we both like some things, and hated certain things. we are the same nationality, same religion, we both like pizza, lol. and she's really pretty and good looking with a knockout body in my eyes.

 

Anyways, to make long story short, yeah I graduated from college last week. And I am not mad that I did not ask her out or find out how she feels during those 4 years in college. The reason why I didn't do that is because that is not my personality. I have a crush on her, a huge one at that, and I never really found out how she feels because I did not take the initiative, even though there were a couple of opportunities to ask her out and find out, but i didn't take the bait.

 

MY question is, how do I get over this crush and move on? I'm ready to move on, buy my mind and the way I feel in my heart frustrates me so much because I really like her. I'm ready to move on. How can I do that when I still like her so much? How do i get over this without having to talk to her and ask how she feels about me? that is my question. The only way I can get over this is if I find out she has a b/f or gets married or if I get a girlfriend of my own that I like, lol. but i know there's gotta be another way to deal with this, and that's what i want to know.

 

I do have her cell number, and myspace page when we exchanged it in class, but I don't want to talk to her and find out if she feels the same way, I want to move on. **But if we ever meet again in town and bump into her outside the movie theatre for example, i'll see if i can make my move and ask her out, but that's highly unlikely, lol.

 

(Note: I have never dated a girl or had a girlfriend)

[Guitar Wizard]

(Note: I have never dated a girl or had a girlfriend)

 

Really? Wow.

 

You went through 4 years of collage, and... nothing? That's what collage is all about man!

 

Anyway... YOU HAVE HER NUMBER!!!!!!

 

Your shy because you have a lack of experiance. I mean, usually in high-school people have their "First loves" and flings, then they have sex, and go through all that stuff. When you get older, you should have enough life-experiance to find yourself a good life-partner.

 

So, take a chance dude. Send her a myspace message asking if she would like to meet up sometime for coffee or maybe catch a movie. If she says no, who cares, it's not like you'll ever see her again anyway. And if she says yes, you might actually have a first relationship! So, go forth good man, and begin the human act of courting!

[TrigunKenshin]

man I wished I had your courage Guitar Wizard. Maybe I'll send her a message through myspace someday. lol, yeah right. I'd rather not because i dont want to make a fool out of myself, and the reason being is that she'll think it weird of me. She'll think that I'm a weirdo, and why is he messaging me now?

 

gosh darnit. i'm just pissed off at myself for not having the courage, not having the will, not being outgoing and more about being shy and keeping things to myself.

 

screw it all, i think i'll take a couple of weeks vacation to hawaii, or take a cruise, or go to europe. I know that the world we live in has endless possibilities. this girl is just but one person, insignificant, i gotta explore what the world has to offer and look at life at a diffierent perspectives. i can't believe this one girl is bringing me down making me feel melancholy. lol. stupid crush, i should cut crush in half with a sword.

[Sand&Water]

TrigunKenshin,

 

I think you're being too hard on yourself. I don't understand, why you have to totally erase the thought of asking her out and moving on? It's not like you failed at the task, and moving on is the solution.

 

I suggest you: a) Call her. Keep it brief, and discuss your graduation for instance.

b) Leave a message on her myspace page. Make a good first impression, if you haven't done so.

 

So what if she thinks you're weird? There are tons of weirder, freaker guys in the world.

 

If you don't give the situation a chance, you'll never be content with the 'moving on' strategy you've created in your mind. Go for it ! Let us know how it goes.

[Yamaha]

It's an old cliché but one way to get over a crush is to get on top of another crush. Forget her man and the easiest way is to find her replacement.

[TrigunKenshin]

I just realized I can't afford to go anywhere at all, not even Hawaii or outside of town.

 

Anyways, I will send her a message online, see what she's feeling and if she is open to the idea of going out.

 

BTW, what do i say to her when I message her. I know i can't possibly just say:

hey what's up, how you been this summer, hope u had great graduation. Hey wanna go out sometime, and hang out in a motel if you arent' doing anything. hahaha, just kidding you. But yeah, if you're free maybe we can grab some lunch talk, catch up.

 

or can i? well any tips on what I can write in the message, that is appropriate is highly appreciated. this forum is so cool.