starlet Posted May 18, 2006 Posted May 18, 2006 I'm totally curious about this, because that's how I've been feeling lately. I don't know if I'm just though through, like, a hermit stage or something, but it's very strange. I in the past have had tons of friends - from different areas of my life, and now i have mostly a core group that I hang out with regularly and I don't add to that very often. It's kind of sad because sometimes hanging out with the same group of people all the time can get irritating. I think part of it must be not being in college anymore, and having to go to work and be there for 8 hours a day (usually longer) and being tired when you get home, and trying to balance work, and existing friends and a relationship if you have one, and family and personal time...it's exhausting!
Guest Posted May 19, 2006 Posted May 19, 2006 Oh definitely As you shift from college to the 'real world' a lot of other things take precedence over friendship Hang in there. As you settle into adult life, you will develop interests, hobbies and a certain career direction. Seek out other people who share these. Eventually you will form a new circle of friends. I find my job and volunteer work has helped me develop adult friendships as I got older
Nomi Posted May 19, 2006 Posted May 19, 2006 hello..I agree with this statement..it's difficult to make REAL friendships wen we grow older as we realise the meaning of trust, loyalty and understand n most important of all: respect. Wen we r young, we pay less attention to these factors..but while growin older, I feel that these are integral in frenship. So..it becomes difficult to FIND people who fink like me.who dont wanna betray..datz y i keep less frens, and those frens r closest to me,n have those qualities..people change though..so cant really say sumfin for the time being..
Author starlet Posted May 19, 2006 Author Posted May 19, 2006 Oh definitely As you shift from college to the 'real world' a lot of other things take precedence over friendship Hang in there. As you settle into adult life, you will develop interests, hobbies and a certain career direction. Seek out other people who share these. Eventually you will form a new circle of friends. I find my job and volunteer work has helped me develop adult friendships as I got older This hit me the other day when I was making plans for a happy hour - to all be able to go we had to basically "book it" three weeks in advance! It's so difficult, because everyone is so busy, even to keep your current friendships strong, that no wonder it seems almost impossible to make new ones. I like the volunteering idea. I used to do that all the time in high school - and then I just sorta stopped. I remember it being fun!
JohnM Posted May 21, 2006 Posted May 21, 2006 I find that at 19 I have picked my friends very shrewdly. If you really get to know your friends then you know their personalities and can weed out the bad ones if you're observant. I do agree, that people can change although this is around the 20s age where most people change alot as they start to show the real them.
Mazellan Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 I'm 49 and split with my partner 18 months ago. We didn't have a lot of friends, due to family committments and all of our friends were mutual. After the split 2 of my kids also left home, so I could have just become a hermit. But I decided to change my life and with a combination of online forums, online dating, and just going out alone and talking to people, I have built up a good collection of friends, and I'm still expanding it.
l2hvn Posted May 24, 2006 Posted May 24, 2006 Yes it is harder to create a friendship as you grow older. I've noticed after college, my friends seem to gradually disappear. Either they're settling down into marital bliss, work elsewhere, or tied up with other forms of commitment. Also, as you grow older, you learn more about yourself and the people around you. You begin to assess your relationships with other people, whether they can be trusted, depended on, etc. You decide whether it would be beneficial to you or not. That's what I have been doing. I would rather have a small group of people I know I can trust, but even then, I know it won't be a guarantee that they'll be there for me long-term. Because things change. People change. Priorities change. You just don't know what's going to happen.
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