Heartbroken

[sukram416]

Im new to this site and I have a problem I need to let out. I was with a girl for 3 years and we broke up. I had been talking to someone else, someone new that I met online prior to the break up without any intentions to move on with the new person. As the break up continued, I became closer to this new person. I started to like her a lot and we grew closer and closer quickly!

 

Well, me and that new person have been together for close to 6 months. I can honestly say that Im in love with her. Ive had my moments at first where I was confused and didnt know what I wanted. As time went by, and as I gave her a chance, I realized how much I truly love her.We have been happy and at the same time had our moments where we fight, but who doesnt have that?

 

I really love this girl and I would love to spend the rest of my life with her. Ive been through so much with her. More than with any other girl. Im 24 and she is 20. Let me say that Ive been with a few girls, girls my age or older and nobody compares to her. Seriously.

 

Ive helped her in so many ways. She had a bad accident, lost her car, and didnt have a way to get around. For 4 months or so Ive been her ride. Ive picked her up at home, taken her to work, picked her up at work, taken her to school, pick her up at school, take her home. Done a zillion favors. Seen her when she was down. Seen her fight with her family. Seen her cry, seen her upset. Ive also made her happy, cheered her up, made her laugh so hard that she gets hiccups. We even made love to eachother more times than I can count. I was also her first. You name it. In 5 months we experienced what everyone would normally take on in a year or two.

 

Getting to the point....I never gave up on her. I never said " forget this girl" or " I dont need to bust my ass for her" She is well worth it.

Recently online she added her ex-bf on her myspace. Her and I have been on there for a while and I never suspected a thing. When I did, I felt I needed to put my guard up. I had known her password to her account and she trusted me with it. One day I browsed on her page and saw that her ex was a new buddy and she left him a couple very sweet comments. I got totally jealous and bothered by it. I went it and had to see if there was something going on. I didnt find any emails or anything. I dont know its safe to say if there was or if they were deleted. My mistake was, I went in her page and accidentally deleted the comments she posted out of anger.

 

She found this out and we had a fight. She sounded pretty defensive. I wondered why would this be a big deal, after all its her ex. But I knew that I invaded her privacy and I totally admitted it and apologized.

 

Last night I talked with her and I was totally blown away. She asked if we could stop being together. After all I went through with her and everything Ive done. She cried her eyes out because she didnt want to hurt me and she acknowledges and appreciates all Ive done for her. Thats why it hurt her to break up. She also said she felt confused. That she doesnt think she is totally over her ex and that she loves me too. She also said that when she saw him again she started to feel what she felt for him again. They never lasted for more than a month or two and he was the one that didnt have interest in her and he stopped calling.He was intimidated by her parents for not telling them they were dating. When I was in that spot I stepped up to the plate, said what I had to say and now her parents respect and love me to death. He never did that. That was one of the things she noticed about me when we started. That I never ever gave up on her.

 

If you ask me I had good reason to suspect something. But I remember when I was confused with my ex and with her, we were just starting out and I never backed out. I stayed with her and I realized that Id rather be with her.

 

But why I ask? I ask god and I ask myself...why, if she is hurting to leave me, would she break up with me? Why cant we just work through this and not throw away something special.

 

I agree that we had our share of pointless lil fights and they do add up. I can honestly say that its normal and I wouldnt have it any other way. I think lil fights bring you closer to the ones you love. They let you know how we feel towards things. Afterall relationships are learning experiences.I just want to get a point of view from someone about this. I need advice, I need help....I need her back.

 

Im so scared now because she felt that I never trusted her. I feel like I slipped once and Im totally paying for it now. As if its all my fault. I just need a way to keep her near. To show her that I in love with her and that I trust her. I want her to see that her confusion isnt worth a break up, but rather a opportunity to fix what is already there.

 

Id hate for her to let one thing ruin almost 6 months of love and sacrfice. I never let it get to that, why should she? I just want to stay with her and let things get better. I want for us to laugh and smile and just move on from this. I need your feedback...and the sooner the better.

 

Im heartbroken and in love with this girl

[MadDog]

I don't know man. I think there are several reasons here why things aren't looking too good for the two of you.

 

First, and most importantly, she's not over her ex. I think if there is any type of relationship to avoid, it's one where the girl isn't over her ex.

 

Second, you crossed a major line by logging on to her myspace and deleting stuff. I know you admitted it was wrong and apologized but that's a pretty big deal. I know if I were dating a chick and she did something like that (not that she could because I'd never give her my password), I'd dump her in an instant. It just seems way too controlling.

 

Third, you can't expect her to stay with you and be the girl you need her to be just because you did a lot of stuff for her. A girl's feelings for you are kind of out of your hands. You can treat her well and all that but in the end, how she feels about you is up to her and sometimes there's nothing you can do to make her care for you.

 

I'd definately give her a break at this point and let her figure out what she really wants. Let her try to get back with her ex. There's a 95% chance she'll try and get her heart broken. Maybe then she'll realize that she's much better for you. Whether you decide to take her back at that point is up to you.