One hell of a catchy title for a topic that is important to me

[The Nail]

I searched the forums for an hour in order to find a similar topic but i didn't find one...

Im a seventeen year old boy..

I love a girl at school. I mean real love. Its not one of those "love at first sight"... This feeling i refer as love grew in me in the last 6 or so months...

But she has a boyfriend. An older, in university, boyfriend.

She is my type of girl for the most parts. She likes 50's 60's rock music and so do i. She, i think, is impressed by me - and she finds me odd (this is what i think she never said anything about is. we are not real friends nor we talk stuff like that on those occasions when we do chat a bit)... I don't think she has everd found anyone as similar as her in those ways as me and probably her bf... Yet (lets think she doesnt have a boyfriend for a second) i imagine that if i ask her out she would say no. This is because i dont have other manly feature. Im quite odd actually. Im not that usual leechie, needy guy that compliments the girl a lot and does whatever she wants him to, and,at the same time, im not that bad boy matcho type... I am emotional, yet very sarcastic. I have a weird sense of humour and most people dont get it.

 

Im a very shy person, though i get my moments when i feel like im on the top of the world and im quite the opposite then.

When she comes up to me and talk i cant keep a straight eye contact. Im intimidated which sucks.

Other thing i hate is, that she mentions her boyfriend and talks about him (she did this yesterday)

She entered the classroom, wakled straight to me with a devilish, flirty smile and i expected she'll want something (past has showed me that she usually tends to walk to me when she wants something )

. But no... She said that she is bored and wants to go and meet her boyfriend. What the hell should i say in these kind of situtations?

 

And today she started asking me about music. What artists i prefered etc... And i asnwered with 5 words max. i never ask her any questions i just want the moment to pas because its unconfortable and when it passes i feel crappy i didnt talk with her. Then on English class she asked me to sit next to her and help her, and she opened her book and started reading. Didn't ask me a single question! Just turned the pages and commented what she knew and what she didnt know...

 

For the most of the time i feel this:

(summed up in a cute list!)

 

1. That She doesnt like me

2. That She likes me but not that much (only bc we share music, movie preference and off-beat vibe)

3. various (from "ill have her one day" to "shoot me")

 

 

god i know im a drag but please bear with me! And help me! Comment, advise, laugh....Anything but dont ignore me...

[kitten chick]

Sorry dude but she seems more into her boyfriend than you. Perhaps it would be best to find another girl.

[Tim'sAngel]

I don't really know what you are asking? If your asking if we think she likes you, I think if she is involved w/someone then maybe she isn't the one for you. You sound like you are a little uptight around women. Loosen up a little. It doesn't matter what you think about yourself. Just relax and be yourself. Find some common interest to talk about.

[blind_otter]

Sometimes I think that we love unavailable people because we are afraid. it's easier to be in love with someone with whom the reality of a relationship is impossible because then, you never actually become confronted with the reality of the huge responsibility of being emotionally involved with someone.

 

This is a crush, because you know that she doesn't love you back the way you want to be loved. I think real love involves opening yourself up for the interchange of emotional interdependence (NOT DEPENDENCE, two different concepts).

 

When I was younger I had crushes. It's like easier to idealize someone like that, from somewhat of a distance. The reality is so much scarier.

 

Enjoy the crush. But don't let yourself get invovled with a fantasy. That will make you very unhappy.

[Tim'sAngel]

Sometimes I think that we love unavailable people because we are afraid. it's easier to be in love with someone with whom the reality of a relationship is impossible because then, you never actually become confronted with the reality of the huge responsibility of being emotionally involved with someone.

 

This is a crush, because you know that she doesn't love you back the way you want to be loved. I think real love involves opening yourself up for the interchange of emotional interdependence (NOT DEPENDENCE, two different concepts).

 

When I was younger I had crushes. It's like easier to idealize someone like that, from somewhat of a distance. The reality is so much scarier.

 

Enjoy the crush. But don't let yourself get invovled with a fantasy. That will make you very unhappy.

 

Good point Blind!!

[Guest]

The reason i didnt ask a question is because i didnt even know what to ask. I dont think its a crush and it sure isnt regular love. I do get the concept of love, i know it involves TWO but still. Would you say to Dante Aligieri that he had "a crush" on a woman all his life...

 

I dont idealize her, and i didnt say she "likes me in that way"... i think she is fascinated that im different and everytime she starts asking me about something top get to know me better i freeze, choke up, get completely unable to think or say the "cool things"...

 

I see her flaws and i love her with them. She is self-centered and puts her happiness first. Yet i feel this big attraction. Please note that i "feel this away about her" some time before she even started dating the guy...

 

Ofcourse we're not talking about real love until the other person feels the same way but it's just hard... To see her everyday and cope with this eerie feel...

 

And about "the fantazies"... It's weird. When i daydream i dont see her with me all angelic. I just see a girl that i would like, a "my type of girl"... And the type isnt a perfect girl. She just clicks with me on so many levels and on other you just need to work things out.

 

One more thing. If she doesnt like me because of ME would be hard but i will get pass it. Im scared that she sees an image of me as others see me and treat me. Lets just say that im not the most popular guy in skool...

 

I have given myself a goal. Someday i'll ask her out. One day i must get an answer and know what impression i left.

[The Nail]

The reason i didnt ask a question is because i didnt even know what to ask. I dont think its a crush and it sure isnt regular love. I do get the concept of love, i know it involves TWO but still. Would you say to Dante Aligieri that he had "a crush" on a woman all his life...

 

I dont idealize her, and i didnt say she "likes me in that way"... i think she is fascinated that im different and everytime she starts asking me about something top get to know me better i freeze, choke up, get completely unable to think or say the "cool things"...

 

I see her flaws and i love her with them. She is self-centered and puts her happiness first. Yet i feel this big attraction. Please note that i "feel this away about her" some time before she even started dating the guy...

 

Ofcourse we're not talking about real love until the other person feels the same way but it's just hard... To see her everyday and cope with this eerie feel...

 

And about "the fantazies"... It's weird. When i daydream i dont see her with me all angelic. I just see a girl that i would like, a "my type of girl"... And the type isnt a perfect girl. She just clicks with me on so many levels and on other you just need to work things out.

 

One more thing. If she doesnt like me because of ME would be hard but i will get pass it. Im scared that she sees an image of me as others see me and treat me. Lets just say that im not the most popular guy in skool...

 

I have given myself a goal. Someday i'll ask her out. One day i must get an answer and know what impression i left.