Rhona Posted May 18, 2006 Posted May 18, 2006 I know this has probably been mentioned hundreds of times but I am very concerned and would like some advice on how to deal with this. My son is six years old and is constantly touching his penis - through his trousers. He has been doing this from a very young age and I have tried to ignore it, thinking he would grow out of it. But he seems to be getting worse. He touches it all the time, and I get so embarrassed when I'm out the front of my house talking to my neighbours and he's grabbing at his crotch every two seconds. I tried talking to him about it, telling him it's not something you do in public. He said it feels nice and that he would try to stop, but he still continues to do it! I don't know what to do now. Do you think he will eventually learn it's not a socially acceptable thing to do? I don't want to make him paranoid about it. It's completely natural for him to enjoy it but I have to admit it bothers me, especially in public or if we're watching tv and he has an erection. I feel it's a private thing and I really don't want to observe this! Is this a problem with me? Any help would really be appreciated...
Outcast Posted May 19, 2006 Posted May 19, 2006 You have already tried to explain to him that it's not appropriate in public with little success. You might wish to call your doctor for some other ideas.
Mz. Pixie Posted May 19, 2006 Posted May 19, 2006 It can be normal behavior but he needs to be taught it's private and only something he should do in his room or the bathroom. Period. Also, that much interest in his sexual organs at that age- where he feels the need to do it in public could be a sign of sexual abuse as well. Google signs of sexual abuse in children and see what it says.
Roo-bie2 Posted May 21, 2006 Posted May 21, 2006 He could have a yeast infection, UTI, or constipation (the pressure makes his penis/urinary tract feel funny)......but it is "normal" with out these situations. Because he has been doing it so long he might not be realizing he doing it. Come up with a code, you might need to touch him to get his attention Track the triggers....you might find he does this befor he needs to go pee. His touching might stop the urge. Is he doing it out of nerves? stress? tired? Check underwear size. Also you might find different pants can trigger it more. My son wouldn't were jeans because it rubbed his penis wrong Reinforce the possitive......let him know you are doing XYZ (like shopping) and you expect him not to touch his penis in the store. Afterwards thank him for not doing it. Sounds stupid but makes him more aware.
RecordProducer Posted June 3, 2006 Posted June 3, 2006 His sexual (and related mental) development is more important than what the neighbors will think. What do you think they think? I wouldn't pay attention to it - he is only a 6-year old child! If you insist, it will only result in him withdrawing himself from his social life. My mom says i was masturbating (while sitting, without touching myself) everywhere since I was like age 3. She makes fun of it. Nobody stopped me from doing it and I don't see how it harmed me or anyone else. Get over it. He eventually WILL grow out of it.
sugarplum Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 I agree it could be totally normal. I also agree you should make sure there is no other reason (yeast or other rash) and him the doctor take a look at him. Is he nervous or anxious? I work in the public school system and dealt with an academically gifted boy who had terrible test anxiety and to deal with it, he played with himself all day long at school. It could be due to any number of reasons. I would tell him that it is a private part of the body and should be touched only in private. That it is inappropriate in public. And reward him with praise. The problem you dont want to run into (which was a concern with the other boy) is that it becomes such a habit that it continues and happens in front of peers who notice and they might make fun of him. My own son never did this, but I recall my brother walking around with both hands down his pants for a significant part of his childhood - in spite of my mother's pleas. If you are that concern, check with the doctor first. Having the doctor tell him what's appropriate might help. Kids are often more likely to listen to someone besides their parent about some things.
sugarplum Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 okay, I had another thought about this due to my own experience in working with young kids. I am NOT saying that this is what is going on - please read through, as I am NOT making any accusation - but sometimes this can be thought of as a sign of abuse. Now, if he is doing this in front of people, and neighbors, and in public - there is nothing to stop any of these people from having this thought. And then there will be (even if never verbally to you) judgement over you. I would first get him to stop doing it in front of others first. True you shouldn't care what other think, but the last thing you need is some busybody across the street hearing about it, and feeling like she has to make an anonymous phone call about it! And if it happens at school, staff (at least in my state) are required by law to report any suspicion of abuse. Not trying to scare you, and I DO NOT think your son is being abused. You just never know what people will think. He is still very young. I would just want to nip it in the bud, before it goes any further. Another thought - is his underwear bothering him?
LightningRod Posted June 24, 2006 Posted June 24, 2006 Not a problem it is a normal boy thing. Some boys are worse then others. Sugarplum is right that you should see a doctor just in case something is bother him. Also make sure he is cleaning it properly at bath time. Sometimes crusty gunk can build up between folds of skin. It could be just itchy due to dry skin as well. It would be nice to have a device on remote control that you could administer electric shock when they touch themselves in public though.
AManWithTroubles Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 My 4 year old son was doing this a lot recently. Wanna know what helped? Getting him boxers instead of tighty whities. Seriously. I think he was just uncomfortable in the undies. I wear boxers, and now my son does, and he has stopped playing with himself, for the most part.
Nicholas Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Do you think he will eventually learn it's not a socially acceptable thing to do? Uh, yeah. He will. He just doesn't think it's a big deal because he doesn't understand what else a penis is for. I guess you have to be careful in ragging on him too much about it, because you wouldn't want him to develop some weird complex because of this when he gets older, but he should stop touching himself in front of people. It's a little bit early for the talk, but maybe you should let on that it's extremely private and that it will make other people very uncomfortable when they can obviously see that you're doing something private and rude, and that he should wait until he is alone to do things that are private.
Juanito Posted July 21, 2006 Posted July 21, 2006 I would just ignore this. He'll grow out of it. Whatever you do don't punish him for it. I had religious fanatic parents. Whenever my mom caught me touching myself she would whip my bare penis with a strap. This caused me much mental anguish that I am now just getting over.
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