Bobby_Germany Posted May 18, 2006 Posted May 18, 2006 Hi! Am new here and really need advice. Life has been complicated since christmas. Am married, but started having an affair in December. Left home, started seeing this girl regularly and all was great and exciting. At some stage, I had problems dealing with her past, made wild accusations, made life difficult, got aggresive (not physically) and basically made the relationship very difficult. On top of this, although I thought I loved her, I was not sure how to feel about my wife and what is going on there. I sort of wanted both, didnt want to shut any doors and move on. Anyway, I got a chance with this girl, even though it was difficult because she had never experienced something so intense and loving on the one hand, but so difficult regarding the way I treated her about her past and exes and what that had for an influence on our relationship. I have analysed this and realise it boils down to insecurities, but that is a separate issue and one hopefully a shrink is going to help me with So moving on...... This girl left me, that was 3 weeks ago. She said she cannot pretend nothing has happened, is not sure of how she feels and feels very hurt and has to spend time by herself. I allowed this, have no choice, but have been emailing and sending text messages. She has also been replying and has on occasions been sending me - thinking of you, miss you etc etc. We actually met up on tuesday for dinner and this was wonderful - she asked me how I feel about her, and I said nothing had changed, I still wanted her and she said she still has a problem in starting again. She wants time and said dont push me or put me junder pressure, let me come to you. 2 hours later, I was at home and she sent me another text message saying that the evening had been very important to her, thanks for the invitation, shame I left then so quickly and that she is thinking of me...... That was the last I heard, am not sure how I should understand this, not sure if I should be seeing hope in this relationship and am not sure why she is doing this and if there is another chance. I guess time will tell, but I am going out of my mind in the meantime. How do you view this, is this normal?? I regret all the negative things and would want to make this up to her given the chance - is it too late, if so, why does she do this, why did she want to see me - as closure or what?? Would appreciate any help or advice, am really struggling right now.....
Author Bobby_Germany Posted May 18, 2006 Author Posted May 18, 2006 Yes you are right. I am married and am not proud that this has happened but it did and I cannot change that. I guess I deserve this to happen to me, but I can on here being honest and opening my heart to get some advice about this and hope that somebody can translate the messages that this new lady is giving me. She knew my past and that I was married, my wife found out, I did the decent thing and left, and no this - what is this new lady trying to tell me - is there another chance for us, or shold I just forget her and move on somehow???
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