MissTiss Posted May 18, 2006 Posted May 18, 2006 Hi this is my first time here. I met my boyfriend at the end of March and we became a couple in the beginning of April. Everything was awesome. I had never been so happy, I was staying with my mom for a bit while the apartment complex I was moving into was finished being built. Before it was done we talked about living together and moved in at the end of April. About a month ago my boss (who I believe has a crush on me) gave me a neck massage, He gives them to everyone, not just me and it was innocent I promise, there were people in the room etc. Looking back I see that it was innappropriate on many levels, but at the time I thought absolutly nothing of it. My BF got very upset and we talked about it at length. I completely understand where he was coming from and I promised him that I would never let my boss or anyone touch me again. I have been true to my word almost to the point of being hostile and rude to my boss. He has made me feel very guilty over something that was really nothing (even though if the situation were reversed--i would have been upset too) Anyhow, things were fine after we talked. Also before we met I had a brief thing with a married man. Nothing really just kissed a few times and it was never anything more than that. I regret it, but cant change it. This was before I met my boyfriend. At first he said that it didnt bother him, but suddenly in the past week or so, he has really been distant. After begging and pleading he finally tells me that he can't get over the massage or me messing with a married guy and doesnt think he could ever marry me. I am crushed because I am so loyal to him and have never been in love with anyone as much as I am with him. Last night he moved all his stuff out of our apartment and said he still wanted to date and see each other. Whatever that means. I told him that he is leaving and that I can't go backwards in our relationship. I want to be married and have children someday and he can't even see a future with me?? Why continue to date. After he left, he texted me and said he felt sick and alone and that it was his own fault. What does all this mean? Isn't real love supposed to forgive? I don't hold his past experiences over him. I love him too much to let stuff like that kill my feelings for him. Please if there is a guy out there. Explain. I don't want to lose him, but I can't "date" again. The whole point of living together is because we both wanted to see each other all the time, spending time together and waking up and going to bed together is the most awesome thing in our lives. We both agree on that. So then why did he leave?
GB111 Posted May 18, 2006 Posted May 18, 2006 Sounds to me like he still wants to sow his oats. If he really was in love with you, the kissing a married person (while questionable behavior) is certainly forgivable. The back massage is nonsense. Of course the boss shouldn't be doing that. Sooner or later he's going to get slapped with a lawsuit, but I'm off the point. You really haven't known each other all that long, so this is very problematic behavior. Maybe since the "honeymoon" period has worn off, he's really not sure he wants to spend his life with you. He still wants to date because he wants to know you're still there as a backup. If hes decided you're not for him, I can't think of any other reason. You're wise to decline such an offer. In this instance, I don't see why you couldn't remain friendly if you're feelings are not too strong. I would be very careful not to make myself available. Whatever his reason, it didn't take him very long to reach it which is not a good prognosis for this relationship. Sorry. GB
Author MissTiss Posted May 19, 2006 Author Posted May 19, 2006 thanks....I feel awesome now. I appreciate the insight though.
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