Marielle Posted May 18, 2006 Posted May 18, 2006 I feel controlled and manipulated, is this an usual pattern with MMs? I feel I lost a lot of strenth and feel guilty all the time. Can I feel less pathetic, pls? DOes it happen to you? WHy besides ALL the pain of this kind of affair am I dragged to this emotional abuser?
Author Marielle Posted May 22, 2006 Author Posted May 22, 2006 seems my posts are having technical difficulties, or something...they take an eternity to appear, a few wiev them, and no replies What s going on????
SHortyAnGel Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 All i can say that i have been w/ my MM for the past 2 years ( almost)... today i have finally decided that its the last straw... & i expect more..NC is what is ahead... with or without letting him know.... unfortunatly the guilty feelin will always be there while you are still in the A. all i can say is that if your just in the infant stages of the A... End it before you fall to deep... because @ this stage right now i am fellin out of control... & abit moody ( that is never me)...i love to be in control.. BUT MM have an unkown power that captures all your emotions.... Im out.... takes cares... & good Luck =]
Jessie61 Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 I feel controlled and manipulated, is this an usual pattern with MMs? I suspect that there is always a degree of manipulation going on in an MM/OW situation.... even at the best of times and even when the MM is the most sincere person on the planet! Think about it, even the sincerest MM has to buy time with the OW while he is deciding what to do and how to do it... Leaving a W (and kids!) is not an easy decision to make so of course it will take a bit of time. In the meantime the OW might be getting impatient... Hmmm.... what's a MM to do but to tell a few white lies to keep OW hanging in there for a tiny bit longer, right???? That is what a SINCERE MM might get up to - yes there might be one or two of them around! Now, imagine what the really selfish, creepy, narcissistic MM might be capable of... That is outright SCARY!!!!!
Sami_D Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 Personally I never felt manipulated by MM. But then I was in a R with a Narcissist abuser before that, so I was on the look out for Red Flags right from the beginning! Never going down that route again! One thing I love(d?) about my MM was he never tried to buy time with me, never used my feelings against me, always was willing to 'let go' if I needed it. Never met a man who was so very wonderful *sigh* you may now lol. In fact, it was him who suggested NC this time round... no lying to buy time at all. I think that manipulators can be M OR single... you just have to learn to recognise their ways and get out fast. BLEH.
Jessie61 Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 One thing I love(d?) about my MM was he never tried to buy time with me, never used my feelings against me, always was willing to 'let go' if I needed it. Never met a man who was so very wonderful *sigh* you may now lol. I think that manipulators can be M OR single... you just have to learn to recognise their ways and get out fast. BLEH. Well, Sami, I guess you were one of the lucky few in your choice of MM!!??! He is probably in an even better league than the "one or two sincere ones" that I mentioned??? Yes, you are right, manipulators come in all shapes and sizes AND their marital status is irrelevant!
movinon05 Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 Ah yes, my MM was the King of control and manipulation. I have no words of advise right now because all the manipulation is coming back into my mind, and I can't even justify how I fell for it. And how I was so weak.
RealityCheck Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 I tend to agree with Sami.... Manipulative can come in both forms of "single" or "married". I do know my ex H was the best of the best in terms of manipulative. As far as my exMM, I don't believe he was manipulative as much as he is "confused".
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