Whitt Posted May 18, 2006 Posted May 18, 2006 I brokeup with someone recently and we had planned to be friends. It wasn't working out too well and so we both agreed to take a break and try a friendship at a later time. I know that I'm not over him yet, but does getting over him mean that I can't ever contact him again? Does it mean that I should never want to contact him again?
patwheel Posted May 18, 2006 Posted May 18, 2006 I cant really speak from experience since my ex and I are not speaking at all since the break up (7 months now), but I would say let some time pass before engaging into any contact. As you said, you're not over him yet, and engaging in contact would open the flooding gates again! Let yourself get a new perspective on the relationship and yourself, and then talk to him again. The no-contact guide is excellent resource for you to look at, goes over why NC is good for dumper and dumpee.
Author Whitt Posted May 18, 2006 Author Posted May 18, 2006 I'm definately not ready to contact him yet, but I know that I will be running into him a lot in the future because we enjoy the same things. I am also friends with his sister-in-law. I would like for us to try again at being friends when we are both over one another, but I worry that wanting to be friends eventually may keep me from getting over him fully. Do I need to be really angry at him to get over him? Where can I find the no-contact guide?
Craig Posted May 18, 2006 Posted May 18, 2006 Where can I find the no-contact guide? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t32860/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t35003 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t41853/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t54435/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t70200/
chocolate_boy Posted May 18, 2006 Posted May 18, 2006 I don't think it's wise talking to an ex until you are over them, then you can assess if you care enough anymore to want to. I am friends with two exs, one I was engaged to and we lived our uni days together and share lots of mutual friends, we had nc for 2.5 years and now are really good friends again, enough time has passed that we've bothed moved on and now can be mates, and have a laugh about the old days. The other I dated for 6 months and it was really a mutual split as it felt more like friendship, she now lived with her current fella, and her and I have more of a sister/brother relationship, she's my best friend in the world. I have never heard again from 2 of my exs, and my most recent one I don't think I will ever want to be friends with. So it all depends on your life and what influence they had, reasons for break-up, level of respect etc. There are lots of factors, although the main one is you both MUST have moved on in order to be friends.
Author Whitt Posted May 18, 2006 Author Posted May 18, 2006 Well, it was kinda a casual thing and shouldn't have ever really progressed from a friendship. He was kinda a rebound and when I saw things getting confining (he didn't want me to date others, but never wanted to get married to anyone) I broke it off. We tried to be friends for three weeks and then he quit calling. I called him once during this period and he didn't return my call. I waited a couple of weeks and then called him. He saidhe hadn't called because he thought I was mad at him. I told him I thought we needed some time apart and he agreed.
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