Kanejd Posted May 17, 2006 Posted May 17, 2006 I've been with my girlfriend for about two years. We're in our mid-thirties. I love her ver much but our relationship has gotten almost intolerable. We had a long distance relationship for the first year and a half. I saw her on the weekends. Through this time, she was an alcoholic, became depressed, and stopped taking care of herself. She would get drunk on a regular basis and verbally abuse me. I stood in there, hoping she would come out of it. She improved, but only slightly. Recently, I moved back to her town and into her house. She's much better, but all the problems are still lingering. I am no angel. I contribute to her pain and displeasure as well. But being home made me realize that I was actually unhappy; not with her, but with the situation. I wanted a change for the better. I wanted she and I to work on ourselves. I told her that I need to move out for a while so we can work on each other beacuse our home was an unhealthy environment. She freaked out. I said we can still talk and see each other once a week, but we need to focus on ourselves for a while. I really mean this and am not trying to break up. Does anyone think I am doing a good thing? Thanks!
Ruff Ryder Posted May 17, 2006 Posted May 17, 2006 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t88774/ have a look at that tread. it will help with happiness
MissTiss Posted May 18, 2006 Posted May 18, 2006 WOW. I Don't get it. I love you but I can't live with you, This is precisely the problem I am having. Moving out is rejection, whether you know it or not. You are rejecting her. My advice is if moving is the only answer you can come up with then it is probably best that you let her go. True love always finds a way back.
Author Kanejd Posted May 22, 2006 Author Posted May 22, 2006 Yes, I understand this. But we each had some major individual issues to contend with (she: alcohol, depression, childhood issues that have never been resolved, anger, self esteem; Me: messy, lack of money, not putting her as a priority, not considering her feelings, chidhood issues...). If I didn't leave and allow us to deal with these issues, the relationship would have been unfixable. We are working on ourselves to make ourselves happy and eventually have a much stronger and better relationship. I didn't do this to explore my options or do it out of guilt. I really want the relationship to be better. I still talk to her every day and see her once a week to let her know I am still in it for the long haul. It is one of those unique situations where time apart can bring us closer together.
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