cantelope Posted May 17, 2006 Posted May 17, 2006 What are the odds, in a large metro area, that a woman ends up seeing the same counselor that her MM and his wife are seeing? What would you make of this? Pure coincidence or does she know who the mm is seeing? If she knew, what is her game? Sorry for the lack of details, but this is a very public forum. I hope someone can enlighten me.
whichwayisup Posted May 17, 2006 Posted May 17, 2006 NO way. She either followed you or had someone follow you. It is NOT a coincidence... Her game? To screw up your life, enough so to cause more problems and bust up your marriage. Tell your marriage counsellor exactly what you've posted here, and I'm betting she'll refuse the OW as her patient. Don't mean to freak you out, but if I'd be abit scared if I were you...
Author cantelope Posted May 19, 2006 Author Posted May 19, 2006 The counselor knows. I see it as an advantage. The counselor now knows exactly what's going on and has a better idea of the truth, because MM is NOT admitting to anything. It would be virtually impossible for her to have followed them. Next guess: MM gave her the name. Any other guesses? Next question: why would he give her the name of his and his wife's marriage counselor? What is she expecting to happen from this arrangement? That they'll run into each other in the waiting room? That the counselor will somehow pass information back to the mm or to the wife? How is this going to mess up their marriage more? Yes, this is freaking some people out. Have we got a fatal attraction situation here?
enoughisenough Posted May 19, 2006 Posted May 19, 2006 Somehow he obviously let her know who he was seeing. I guess he's not doing the "no contact" thing too well. She is OBSESSED and probably ready to cause a scene! With such a conflict of interest, the counsellor should have dropped the OW already or referred her to someone else! Doesn't make much sense. If all else fails, they should start seeing someone else.
Alexandra Posted May 19, 2006 Posted May 19, 2006 What is she expecting to happen from this arrangement? That they'll run into each other in the waiting room? That the counselor will somehow pass information back to the mm or to the wife? How is this going to mess up their marriage more? I've had that happen once, the wife eventually admitted to giving the OM my name but I ended up saying "no" to seeing the OM and quite frankly it's the only deontological thing to do, drop one of the parties. As for the reasons behind it, there can be a myriad of things, people do the most awkward of gestures when desperate enough. Is there any logical explanation to driving past someone's house 20 times a day after being dumped? Or to obsessively checking out their online profile of sorts? So it can go from hoping to meet them to hoping to somehow gain more information about them, to wanting to make sure she's well represented and the counselor won't hear a distorted story, to even really wanting to move on but with the help of someone who knows what's happening but the most possible answer is that she wants to "be present" and keep in the loop no matter how. It's that presence that should make the therapist drop her or them IMO.
Author cantelope Posted May 19, 2006 Author Posted May 19, 2006 Alexandra, you are a counselor who was seeing a woman who gave your name to her OM? Any reason why SHE would do that? I'm still trying to figure out why the MM would give his counselor's name to his 'friend.' What is HIS game? In the counselor's defense, he may have only realized it himself in the most recent meeting with the wife. It remains to be seen what he will do about the situation. But it is considered a conflict of interest? It is considered that he cannot possibly help all three parties in this situation? What are his legal obligations? To tell all parties what is going on? Thanks for the input. Any and all input is welcome. This whole thing is surreal.
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