Experiencing Quarter-Life Crisis... I have till tomorrow evening to figure this out.

[lookingforblank]

There's Kyle. We met when I was 13 and he was 17. We became best best buds and started dating a year or so after meeting each other. I've now just turned 18 and he's 21, and he's my first and only serious boyfriend. I'm his first serious girlfriend (he dated one other chick casually for like a month). We've had an amazing relationship filled with incredibly strong love, devotion, and commitment. Of course, we've had hard times too, but we've managed to push our way through together, hand in hand.

 

But something's happened. I'm experiencing something commonly referred to as the Quarter-Life Crisis.

 

My parents have been telling me for years not to get too wrapped up in Kyle, that I need the experience of dating other people. I was so in love with Kyle (and still am) that I pushed those thoughts away and supressed them. But a month or so ago before turning 18, I started thinking about those thoughts more and more. I'm attending college next year (while living at home), I've got lots of male friends who would love to date me, and I'm an attractive, young, motivated female.

 

And I'm starting to get the desire to date other people. Well, it was a desire at first, but now 90% of my heart doesn't really want it. But the logical part of my brain is saying that I need to date other people before I get married. I guess I should mention Kyle and I have discussed getting married in the future, when I'm ready.

 

I love Kyle very very much, but I feel as though I have to do this. By meeting other people, I think I can determine whether he is "the one" for me or not. And I hope to god he'd take me back.

 

We're having a talk tomorrow evening after he gets home from work (which is in about 20 hours).

 

Can you please, please please PLEASE give me advice. I'm in desperate need and I'm short of time. Thank you so much for reading.

[silentcharon]

There's Kyle. We met when I was 13 and he was 17. We became best best buds and started dating a year or so after meeting each other. I've now just turned 18 and he's 21, and he's my first and only serious boyfriend. I'm his first serious girlfriend (he dated one other chick casually for like a month). We've had an amazing relationship filled with incredibly strong love, devotion, and commitment. Of course, we've had hard times too, but we've managed to push our way through together, hand in hand.

 

But something's happened. I'm experiencing something commonly referred to as the Quarter-Life Crisis.

 

My parents have been telling me for years not to get too wrapped up in Kyle, that I need the experience of dating other people. I was so in love with Kyle (and still am) that I pushed those thoughts away and supressed them. But a month or so ago before turning 18, I started thinking about those thoughts more and more. I'm attending college next year (while living at home), I've got lots of male friends who would love to date me, and I'm an attractive, young, motivated female.

 

And I'm starting to get the desire to date other people. Well, it was a desire at first, but now 90% of my heart doesn't really want it. But the logical part of my brain is saying that I need to date other people before I get married. I guess I should mention Kyle and I have discussed getting married in the future, when I'm ready.

 

I love Kyle very very much, but I feel as though I have to do this. By meeting other people, I think I can determine whether he is "the one" for me or not. And I hope to god he'd take me back.

 

We're having a talk tomorrow evening after he gets home from work (which is in about 20 hours).

 

Can you please, please please PLEASE give me advice. I'm in desperate need and I'm short of time. Thank you so much for reading.

 

I'm in the same boat as you are, except we broke up in February. I met him at a young age as well, dated him for 7 years until then. It wasn't a nasty break up or anything, he told me he didn't want to be with me right now, pretty much doing what you are thinking about right now. It hurt like hell, but I've come to terms with it. Do you want to see other people?

 

It sounds like you're wondering what's out there, but you don't want to lose Kyle. It's a huge, huge risk letting him go when he may not come back when you're done gauging other people trying to determine whether Kyle is the one for you. You're 18, you have many, many more years ahead of you! I don't have much advice for you, really.

 

But I do know this: Don't tell him to wait for you. Because that would be unfair for him to wait for you while you date other people. This will be hard for you, probably one of the hardest thing you'll ever have to go through, and remember it will be the same for kyle should you decide to break up with him. Who knows, maybe twenty years down the road, you both will meet again and under right circumstances and timing, he could be the one for you.

[KittenMoon]

I just experienced a similar situation with my exbf (yea- look how good it turned out). We are a few years older, met in college and dated for over 6 years. The "doubts" were often present, because of our young age. The way I've figured, you have 3 options:

 

1) Stay together, hopefuly get married, and try to deal with the fact that you are always going to wonder about other people

 

2) Break up, try dating, and risk losing him forever. You may find something better, or maybe he will, or maybe you'll get back together later down the road and have to deal with having dated others

 

3) Wait it out. Hope life works out somehow w/o having to make either of the above choices. This is what I did, and it worked out horribly. He fell out of love with me in the face of the doubts and his mounting life stress. Now I've probably lost him forever. But still, there's that "down the road, who knows" aspect of life. But its going to be that much more difficult because his feelings have already faded a lot.

 

My advice is to pick # 1 or 2. I would council you towards 2 because you are young. But it's going to hurt more than anything. You are going to doubt it and be in pain for a LONG time probably.

 

This situation is a long-term gamble no matter how you look at it.

[lookingforblank]

Thanks for the advice, you two. I really appreciate it.

 

I'm heading over to Kyle's in half an hour... I'll be sure to post what happens. Wish me luck, guys.

[silentcharon]

I chose #3 too, and it didn't work out as well. Good luck!