fraidycat Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 Well everyone, I've fallen in love! Great!! Right? Yeah, kind of. I became really close with a friend of mine, I found out he has schizophrenia a few months ago. Before you know it lines were blurred all over the place, we were acting more like a lovey dovey couple (I never had sex with him though!) than friends. Would you like some examples? If I'd been away he'd tell me he missed me and had to call so he could hear my voice, He'd blow off others to spend time with me, We'd spend more time together than we would with anyone else, I mean we litterally now that I think of it were like a couple, minus the label. Anyhow, I decided this past weekend to bring up us becoming "us" that's when he started getting strange. He said I was acting funny,(did I mention BEFORE we ever got close this way he'd bring up quite often me being his girlfriend)and that he would love to be with me but that we'd need to be friends longer first because he'd gotten into relationships with other girls and HE wasn't what they had expected. I do know that all his former relationships were ended by the girl because of his schizophrenia. Then alter that day he wanted to pick fights with me over stupid things, told me he'd gone out and made out with some random girl just for the hell of it, and acting really distant and cold towards me. Being a 1-800-huge - jerk. So I had some thinking to do..I have decided that he is scared of losing me in the long run (friendships usually last, relationships can END) and when I brought up us calling it an us, he probably realized just HOW scared he was, so then he started acting distant, and doing all this erronoeous jerk like things to push me away and make me drop him like he was hot. If he was doing these things just because that's how he is..I WOULD. I know though that this isn't the real him, this is him in defense mechanism overload mode. So what's my plan of action? I've left him a message since telling him I apologize for any pressure and that I am always here for him as his friend when he's ready and comfortable. I do mean that. I have no Idea what is going to happen next. He may decide to just run the other way for life so to speak, or he may decide he can only handle being friends with me. Either way, I said I loved him..so here I wait..patiently.
blind_otter Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 Wow that's a big thing to take on. I did my undergrad internship at a forensic mental hospital and dealt with the SPMI population (severe persistent mental illness)...I was very empathetic about the patients with schizophrenia. It's a degenerative brain disease, and without treatment the patient often suffers severe hallucinations, delusions and eventually stops being able to talk and interact and make sense. I worked with some in the later stages and it was weird how it seemed to be both phyiscally and psychologically debilitating. I always thought it was just a psychological thing. Anyways, there isn't any hope for a cure, either. So not only is there a chronic mental illness issue, but there's the whole depression from being chronically ill as well. If you do plan on being part of his life I would recommend doing some reasearch. Mark Vonnegut, the son of the famous author of Slaughterhouse Five, wrote a book abouthis first decompensation when he was diagnosed as schizophrenic. It's a terrifying and moving tale. http://wuff.me.uk/vonnegut/P5.1.html
Author fraidycat Posted May 16, 2006 Author Posted May 16, 2006 I do continue to and have done a lot of research. And actually, there is hope for a cure a predicted cure is expected to arrive in 2013. I interact with people who have schizophrenia as well as those dealing with loved ones who have it. It's a difficult disease but I am comfortable with accepting it.
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