Noos Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 How do you stay positive when you're not meeting anyone and you can't seem to effect any change in your single status? I'm good most of the time but I'm sort of fearing the future if it keeps going like this. I really feel that I'm missing out on something and won't be truly happy until i have a loving relationship.
johan Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 I'm in the same boat. I'm not postitive all the time. It comes and goes. I don't want to be single forever. I hope for the best though. LS is a good place to find people to commiserate with, but you still have to get the courage up to go out and live a real life.
Pyro Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 How do you stay positive when you're not meeting anyone and you can't seem to effect any change in your single status? I'm good most of the time but I'm sort of fearing the future if it keeps going like this. I really feel that I'm missing out on something and won't be truly happy until i have a loving relationship. Just live your life like you normally would and it will occur when you aren't thinking about it. That is how it usually happens, at least for me. Its tough. In the past, I got frustrated many of times. Just keep yourself occupied with different things. Try not to dwell on it.
kellyp1 Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 I know how you feel, I am in a little funk right now too. Remember what they say, if you finger is hurting and you stub your toe, you don't notice your finger as much. But try that with the good stuff. I am building a business so that has kept me from getting into too much of a funk. Having a lot of work to do that is the means to an end of a great goal keeps my spirits up a little. But not having had a date in a few months and not hearing the words I love you from someone in over 7 years takes its toll. It is party season and it seems all the couples are coming out in droves (graduation and wedding time of year). I know this is hard to do, but one thing I do is think of all those that are less fortunate than I am in terms of love (just out of a bad breakup, in an abusive relationship) and I appreciate my lonliness at that time just a little as being better than it could be. I don't know if that will help you but it is worth a try. Things could always be worse...
MadDog Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 My attitude has always been, as long as I have my health, I should be happy because then anything is possible.
Vertex Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 The key to happiness, in my opinion, is accepting the negative and looking for the positive. Dwelling on negativity does nothing for you. Not only does it make you feel worse but it decreases the chances of good things happening. You have to use negativity as something you can deal with -- ways to figure out how to learn and grow from it. Or, how to avoid negativity again. In short, perhaps the attitude of "Wow that sucks, but hey at least I have this and this to use to my advantage still" will work. As for being single... it rarely happens when you look for it. If you go with the flow then you tend to be more positive and attractive and things happen naturally.
Author Noos Posted May 16, 2006 Author Posted May 16, 2006 The flow isn't leading me anywhere - except perhaps up sh*t creek without a paddle. Vertex - you have no reason to worry - you're only 19. But I'm 33!
Vertex Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 33 is still considered quite young... if you live a life where you hang around many people consistently then things are bound to turn up! What's the longest you've been single? Just put it all in this mindset...
lovelorcet Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 Hey! 33 is not too bad at all I am getting very close to the 30 myself. Be careful that you are not putting yourself under too much pressure, that can really backfire...
lovelorcet Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 Hey Noos! Buy a ticket, fly to europe, lets go on a date, problem solved!
catgirl1927 Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 I know self-pity is a very bad thing, but I'm going to post this anyway. Sometimes when I'm really sad, I'll take a weekend to lie around, watch tv, watch movies that make me cry and cry and eat fattening stuff. I won't even go outside. I just wallow in it for a couple of days. It starts on Friday night, and every time by Sunday morning I am SICK of it. I just want to go do stuff and not be sad any more. By Sunday it feels as pathetic as it is to be lying around feeling sorry for myself and I don't want to do it any more. It's like I get all the sadness out because I've expressed it instead of pushing it down. This might not work for anyone else on earth, but it works really well for me.
barfool Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 Yep, I'm sure we've all been here, stuck in lonely-land. I think the best thing to do when feeling really down is to remain active. Do things you enjoy like hobbies so you don't have time to sit around and dwell on it. Like others have said it will happen when you least expect it.
IWalkAlone Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 I'm about the same age as Noos, and I know exactly how he feels. While most peeople seem to move from LTR to LTR with brief single periods in between, I have prolonged dry spells separated by brief periods when I'm dating someone. I have hobbies, but they only go so far. Mountain biking is great fun, but I'm not on my bike Friday & Saturday nights. Watching DVDs or surfing the Internet at home gets old, but if I go out on weekend evenings it's either couple-land and I feel out of place, or I go to bars where women who dress like they want attention act annoyed if I give them some.
Author Noos Posted May 17, 2006 Author Posted May 17, 2006 I have hobbies too - I read, I go the gym, cooking classes, out to movies and dinner regularly and live bands when there is someone I want to see. But I still feel empty inside. I'm craving touch at the moment. Does anyone ever get like that? You just crave affectionate human touch?
phyrespryte Posted May 17, 2006 Posted May 17, 2006 I have hobbies too - I read, I go the gym, cooking classes, out to movies and dinner regularly and live bands when there is someone I want to see. But I still feel empty inside. I'm craving touch at the moment. Does anyone ever get like that? You just crave affectionate human touch? YES!!! That's what I've been feeling lately. I don't even care about sex right now. There's these moments where all I want is someone to hug me or just sit next to me and hold my hand. I really miss having someone around. I miss sitting quietly with someone and there's this understanding that the silence isn't a bad thing. I guess I miss having that um connection? That whole being comfortable with someone. And it's so frustrating because some weeks it's worse than others. I just wish I could skip the whole dating garbage and be in a relationship already.
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