lostsmile Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 I think I made such a mistake. I told the MM that my husband and I were having trouble. Told him that I wanted him to know and tell him myself instead of just letting him hear it on the street. We live in same small community. We just met again 3 weeks ago today and had sex! Felt like there was so much between us! We both said that we knew it probably shouldn't happen again. However, ever since I told him about H and I, he is acting very different. I tried calling him today, and he acted mad that I was bothering him. Is this because I told him about husband and I possibly seperating? Does he feel threatened now? Should I just leave him alone and see if he calls me back?
RealityCheck Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 LS I wouldn't read too much into his behavior at this point. There could be many things going on in his head in terms of the A. In my opinion, I don't think you telling him that you and your H are having problems is a bad thing. Let the dust settle and go from there!
whichwayisup Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 Worse case senario - The MM now feels that the affair is TOO serious, and the fact you and your husband are having problems, could mean he's freaking out about you pursuing him even more, and becoming a real live threat to HIS marriage, and telling his wife...Which then, in turn, he'll back off as I"m sure the last thing he wants is his wife finding out because he doesn't want to leave her or end the marriage. The best thing you can do for yourself now is work hard with your husband, go to marriage counselling, try to fix things at home, and rid of your feelings for the MM.
movinon05 Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 Judging from you past posts and now, my first impression is that suddenly he feels threatened that you will want something more from him than an affair. Sounds like he's all for the cake. More importantly, if he really felt something for you, or really loved you - (I don't know if he's told you that), then he should care that you are in an abusive relationship! It should matter to him!!! If it doesn't, then he really doesn't care about you in the way that you should be cared for. I think at this point, you have to deal with the abusive M you are in. Don't worry so much about him. My impression has been that you are going to counseling with your H because its what he wants, but you do not hold out much hope. Think about you first. You need to be a whole person who does not accept abuse from someone, let alone your H. If you have to end the M, you do it for that reason alone. Not because of MM. I will say it again. If he really cared about you, he would care that you were being abused!!
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